thwany

2012-02-02T02:08:00.001+07:00

"'A person fucks himself up so much,' Colonel Aureliano Buendia said."

one hundred years of solitude by gabriel garcía márquez. page 126.

2012-02-01T20:20:00.001+07:00

having bad manners is just plain tacky.

2012-01-29T19:56:00.011+07:00

it's been awhile since i've explored new parts of bangkok, and i woke up this morning determined to do something about it.

i did some research online and found out that the neilson hays library was having a used book sale today---what luck! i've been meaning to check out this library for some time now, and was excited to finally go and hopefully come home with a few good books as well.

the neilson hays library was first established by a group of western women who were living in bangkok around the 1870's (i can't even imagine these women living in what was most likely all jungle and swampland back then, it's pretty interesting to think about). so within this group of women, there was someone named jennie neilson hays, who was married to a prominent doctor in town. jennie passed away in 1920, and in order to house all the books that she and her women's group had amassed, her husband built this library in honor of her.

i was so fortunate because the weather was nothing short of amazing today, and it felt nice to get lost and walk along unfamiliar streets. after asking numerous people for directions, all of whom had no idea that a library of this manner even existed in bangkok, i finally found my way and arrived at the library dripping with sweat.

the people running the book sale and library were all very nice, and i ended up buying a book about kenya (because i hope to go there once in my lifetime), along with a copy of 100 years of solitude by gabriel garcía márquez, at ฿50 each. after checking out the sale, i decided to cool off and have a fresh coconut juice at the library's cafe. i sat there and relaxed by reading for about an hour or so, and then went inside the main building of the library to peruse in its air conditioning.

today was a really great sunday.

2012-01-29T17:52:00.005+07:00

"When it was opened by the giant, the chest gave off a glacial exhalation. Inside there was only an enormous, transparent block with infinite internal needles in which the light of the sunset was broken up into colored stars."

one hundred years of solitude by gabriel garcía márquez. page 25.

can you imagine seeing ice for the first time in your life and discerning it this way? amazing.

2012-01-29T17:08:00.001+07:00

it's another beautiful sunday here in bangkok---the weather is just heavenly.

2012-01-28T21:14:00.015+07:00

as i was reading in bed a few nights ago, i stumbled upon this obituary from The New York Times, and was astounded by what i read.

i had never heard of eiko ishioka before, but while reading her obit, i was really in awe of all that she had accomplished. learning about her career was really interesting because she's been so successful in a vast array of mediums. upon many of her accolades and just simply being incredible, in 1985, the cannes film festival awarded her a special award for her production design on the film Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters. i actually enjoy yukio mishima's writing and even watched this movie at the film forum a few years ago by myself, and subsequently blogged about my experience (HERE). i remember feeling that the visuals of that movie were really well done and amazing, and now that i've learned that she also did all the costumes for this year's upcoming "mirror mirror," i actually want to go watch this cheesy snow-white-themed movie.

anyway, here are some screen-caps of her obituary that i took the other night while reading.

may you rest in peace, mrs. eiko ishioka.

2012-01-28T03:11:00.003+07:00

i could stand on overpasses and watch traffic for hours.

2012-01-27T20:50:00.004+07:00

another friday night with nowhere to go so it's just me and the busy streets of bangkok...

walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think. walk alone. think.

2012-01-27T16:59:00.002+07:00

i forgot how great it feels to ride a motosai through the bustling streets of bangkok's siam on a friday evening---it's enough to make any shitty day better.

2012-01-24T13:25:00.003+07:00

i need something to look forward to.

2012-01-24T13:25:00.001+07:00

2012-01-22T23:55:00.000+07:00

"we need to talk about kevin" started playing this weekend at bangkok's lido theatre, and i went to go check it out alone.

have you ever had that feeling where after you've read a good book, you go watch the film adaption and am greatly disappointed? well, though i didn't read lionel shriver's 2003 book, "we need to talk about kevin," i really wish i had done so before watching this movie because it would have been nice to finally feel that perhaps a motion picture adaption has done justice to the original book.

i don't want to ruin the film's ending, but it truly left me feeling absolutely gutted... i walked out of the theatre and felt like i was in a daze. the movie made me think about life and some of its uncontrollable factors that bring us despair, and a sudden state of hopelessness came over me. while there were swarms of people all around me at siam, for some reason the only individuals i seemed to notice were all the beggars and disabled panhandlers that litter the streets of bangkok. there's a lot of them here and i've gotten quite used to them since i walk around on a daily basis, but on this night, i just wanted to give each of them the little money i had in my wallet. when i got to the siam bts (subway) station, i became really lightheaded for some odd reason, and had to stand to the side at an empty part of the platform to collect myself. i felt really manic and like i couldn't function. there were way too many people waiting for the train at the station as well, so i then ended up walking home at the speed of a crazy man.

anyway, it's been awhile since a film had such an effect on me, and i really recommend watching "we have to talk about kevin." tilda swinton's performance is nothing short of amazing, and the entire movie is beautifully shot as well. man, if only more movies of this quality were made instead of all the stupid ass vacuous garbage that's out there.

2012-01-21T15:49:00.002+07:00

context is so damn important.

2012-01-19T23:45:00.002+07:00

"Some things can't be solved just by going wild every now and then."

1Q84 by haruki murakami. page 162.

2012-01-19T23:39:00.001+07:00

"But how long am I going to keep this up? Aomame wondered. How long can I keep it up? I'll be thirty soon, and before long forty will come into view."

1Q84 by haruki murakami. page 157.

2012-01-18T14:12:00.000+07:00

i prefer serious-minded people.

2012-01-18T14:11:00.000+07:00

you are what you read.

2012-01-17T13:27:00.010+07:00

for new year's eve, two friends from chicago were in town, so i was BEYOND ecstatic to celebrate with them here in bangkok.

i took christine and ray to a bar called longtable, and i think it was quite possibly the best nye that i've ever had in my life. the venue was surprisingly not packed, and beautiful thai dancers in traditional garb elegantly strolled around the tables, adding a whole other element to the night.

here are some photos of the night that they just sent me, and thanks to the happy couple for making it such a memorable occasion.

2012-01-16T00:42:00.014+07:00

i think i'm turning into a crazy old dog man...

stray animals are rampant here in bangkok, so it's always heartbreaking for me to see all these cats and dogs living on the streets.

near my studio apartment, there's this overpass where a few stray dogs have recently had a litter of puppies. ever since i discovered these puppies, i like to check-in on them and make sure they're doing alright. because i don't really have people to talk to here, sometimes i like to go and chat with the puppies. while i'm sure that they can't even understand english (since everyone else is speaking to them in thai), it still feels nice to vent and unload my thoughts and feelings. there's five puppies altogether, and i'm happy to report that they all appear healthy and are continuing to grow.

anyway, today i decided to buy the puppies some treats before going for a visit, and here are some photos that i took. i'm still using an old camera that my friends graciously sent me, but unfortunately i can't seem to get the photos to come out the way i'd like. i really need to save up and invest in a good camera.

2012-01-14T23:18:00.003+07:00

what i would give to go on a nice scenic drive right now with somebody---i long to stare out a window and just converse.

it's saturday night here in bangkok. i'm staying in and attempting to get some work done while listening to porgy and bess.

life is great.

2012-01-13T23:59:00.009+07:00

i really think the proportion of people here in bangkok who walk with their eyes glued to their damn cellphones, blackberries, iphones, ipads or other smart devices is out of control. maybe i've just been here too long and can't recall how it was back in nyc or seoul, but i don't remember feeling like this before. or perhaps technology has just reached a point where this is the norm in every city all around the world, and i happen to be in thailand when this change took place.

all i know is that when i'm walking around bangkok, this issue is definitely something i think about for mmm, pretty much every thirty steps i take.

thailand and bangkok's energy is pretty relaxed to begin with, so when already-slow-walking people are even further distracted, the simple act of walking down the sidewalk with these people irritates the hell out of me. when i'm hot, sweaty, and surrounded by a moving speed which is comparable to crawling, dealing with all this inefficiency gets infuriating, and yes i do actually mean infuriating. i understand that i have a stick up my ass and naturally walk fast, so it's not really the pace that's the main problem (okay, but it's a huge part of it), but the fact that these people become idiotic and completely unaware of their surroundings. i just can't comprehend how one can live in a metropolitan city and be oblivious to their surroundings, it just makes no sense to me whatsoever. and i'm not just talking about random sidewalks or streets of bangkok, but this is going on at major areas that are packed with hundreds to thousands of people at any given moment. i mean i know it's because these people are so busy and cool and need to check their devices all day every day, but that has nothing to do with me. if you need to send your friend a text message or update your facebook status for the umpteenth time, do everyone a favor and MOVE TO THE DAMN SIDE so you can get the hell out of our way.

sometimes, i really wish i could walk around with an air horn or whistle to wake some of these damn people up.

2012-01-11T23:01:00.005+07:00

i love receiving mail here in bangkok.

i get pretty lonely and bored, making it always such a pleasant surprise to find that a letter or package has arrived for me. i also appreciate the effort (or what 2012 would call it) that goes into sending mail, and so it always feels really special, too.

yesterday, i was heading out my door for the day when i was given a small box that had just arrived. i returned to my room to open it, and inside were some books that my friend in korea had sent me. he's authored three non-fiction books so far about his travels, and i so wish i could just read them and easily understand what he's saying. while i can phonetically read korean, it's still a pain in the ass to look up most of the vocabulary so i don't read too often. but i'm thinking it might be time to invest in a good dictionary because i told him i'd definitely read these. it would be my first time reading a book in korean, but it has to happen eventually so why not i guess.

2012-01-11T15:19:00.002+07:00

"sometimes i dream bigger than I live,
sometimes i think better when i'm lit,
so go ahead and light it,
roll it up, ignite it..."

from the song, memories, by big sean.

2012-01-10T20:22:00.002+07:00

prostitutes galore.

2012-01-08T00:33:00.020+07:00

today while i was walking down the street, my left contact totally popped out of my eye.

i stopped dead in my tracks after realizing what happened, and started to search the sidewalk for it. this was right in front of a group of motosai (motorcycle taxi) drivers, and a few of them kindly began to help me look for it. just when i was about to give up on finding it, one of the motosai guys spotted it nearby. unfortunately though, it was all shriveled up by the time we retrieved it, and i was forced to put it into my mouth so it wouldn't dry out. yes, i agree---yuck x 100.

as i was standing in front of a storefront window in order to use the reflection to put it back in, the whole episode totally reminded of that scene in steel magnolias, when daryl hannah's character's contact falls out. for some reason that scene from the movie has always been burned into my memory, and i remember watching it as a kid and thinking, "what a load of bullshit, that would never happen." but, i was definitely proved wrong today.

anyway, here are some more of my photos of bangkok that i never posted.

2012-01-07T11:29:00.002+07:00

sometimes it's really hard to distinguish: is this real life OR a parody?

2012-01-06T21:45:00.005+07:00

sometimes, i forget how great it is to be an adult.

the simple ability and act of buying a few cans of beer on my way home always makes me smile and appreciate being of age.

2012-01-04T23:52:00.003+07:00

the older i get, the more i've come to realize how lucky i am to have the close friends that i have back in nyc. i think having a countless number of acquaintences is an absolute waste of time and energy in life. some people find more value in knowing a large amount of people, but i'd much rather give everyhing i have to a set few instead. as i continue to learn and experience more life-lessons, i've also come to realize that other people's versions of close friendships is drastically different from mine. particularly here in bangkok, i've been able to foster a couple of friendships that i'm certain will grow into lifelong bonds because we not only share similar definitions of the term, but also connect and appreciate one another on so many different levels. unfortunately though, most of the good friends i made here in bangkok have moved to other countries, so all i'm really left with are a few other friends, whom i actually find a bit too tiresome to meet. with age, while my patience with certain things has gotten tremendously better, it's declined towards many other aspects. i used to be able to put up with the annoyances that came along with having dinner with certain acquaintances, but now i'd rather not meet them because it just feels pointless. sitting through a dinner while having to constantly listen to someone's problems is something i'm more than happy to do and help with, but not when i feel like they're not doing the same for me. usually i will go and meet these people thinking "maybe today will be different and we'll connect and i'll have a good time," but alas it usually never happens that way, so now i simply don't meet them.

for now, I'll leave you with a photo that my friends sent me from this recent new years eve. to have me there in spirit, my friend, grace, drew a picture of me and took photos with my illustrated-self.

i really love all you guys back in nyc. even though i'm on the other side of the planet, thank you for always believing in me and my dream. thank you for making me feel loved during all the times when i'm feeling alone, forsaken and forgotten here in bangkok.

2012-01-04T20:05:00.013+07:00

so it's wednesday evening here in bangkok, and i since i have nowhere to go and no one to meet, i decided to catch a film by myself.

i went to my favorite theatre here in bangkok, lido, for the 7:15pm showing of woody allen's midnight in paris, and while i normally don't enjoy going to the movies because i hate crowds, i figured that the theatre would be empty since it's wednesday and after all, that movie's been out for awhile now. however, to my surprise, half of the seats in the theatre were filled by the time it started. and before i continue on with my story, i must preface that i have been in a major funk the past few days. i've learned to understand and control my depression throughout the past few years, but i sometimes still get hit with something so powerful that it leaves my brain and body incapacitated. all these dark thoughts and moods just overtake me, and the only thing i can do about it is wait for it all to pass. so i woke up the other day feeling like complete shit, as if i'd been beaten to a pulp with a misery-stick. sleep-wise, i had actually been doing pretty good the past few weeks and have been waking up at the same time everyday without an alarm clock, but on this particular unexpected morning, everything just felt like such a struggle. the simple task of sitting up in-itself seemed impossible, and i can remember just wanting to go back to bed. so this is how i've been the past few days, and the combination of being alone here in thailand is just making things worse. on top of all that, i've been completely frustrated with my writing because i've been trying to work on this short story, but have been stuck on the same fucking first paragraph for over a god damn week now.

so there i was about an hour ago, sitting inside the theatre and patiently waiting for midnight in paris to begin. then within the first 3 minutes of the movie, one of the film's main characters caught my attention. i didn't know the actress' name, and had never seen her in a film before, but her face looked SO familiar. and then bam---i realized that she went to my college back in nyc. now, i attended The New School in downtown manhattan, and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. i have a lot of pride for my alma mater, and in my opinion, received the best education that suited me and what i wanted in life. one of the reasons why i wanted to go to that school is because all the classes are in seminar-style, meaning there are no more than an average of 15 students per class. i don't remember ever talking with or engaging in conversation with this random girl from my school, but i know that we were in the same shakespeare literature class. plus my college was quite small, so it's easy to get familiar with all the different students on campus after a few semesters. and in addition, i'm actually very good with recognizing faces, so i was 100% certain that this girl in the movie was the same girl from my college. after i realized it was her, this surge of uncontrollable anticipation took over my body, and i was unable to sit still or concentrate on the film. i couldn't stop obsessing over the fact that she's actually accomplishing something with her life, while my perpetually-miserable loser-self is at the theatres alone in bangkok, watching her on the big screen. don't get me wrong, i don't know her at all and i'm very happy for her and wish her the best in her career, but it just makes me question, what the fuck have i professionally accomplished with my life since i graduated college? what the hell do i have to show for the past six years? here i am all the way in bangkok, trying to live my dream and write, but will my writing ever be read by people other than my friends? will i ever become the successful person i'm determined to be?

i became so distracted with my thoughts that i had to walk out of the movie after about five minutes. when i exited onto the busy streets of siam, i came to see that it was pouring rain. i've been taking good note of the weather here in bangkok, and i'm certain that it hasn't rained like this since before all the flooding began last october. already feeling defeated, i decided to walk home because i was just so frustrated with everything about my god damn life.

while walking home and getting drenched in the rain, all i could think is that i'm just another miserable, addict-ridden, broke, depressed, unsuccessful writer---everything about my life is such a cliché.

anyway, i know i'm just having a moment of self-pity here, and am putting a stop to it now. but FUCK. seriously, sometimes i really just wonder, what is to become of me?

2012-01-03T21:58:00.001+07:00

getting fucked-up-wasted is always my number one priority, and i really need to change that this year.

2011-12-30T21:49:00.006+07:00

when did it become okay for people to wear glasses without the lenses?

i find it very hard to understand why people think this is alright to do. i get that glasses can be incorporated into a person's style, but even if your glasses are non-prescrition, you at least have to PRETEND that they're real. every time i see someone wearing a pair like that, i want to poke them in the eyes because there's such easy access. i'm still trying to grasp why people would wear a pair of glasses if they really don't need to in the first place, so i really don't understand when these people think that others won't be distracted when they're trying to have a conversation with them. i guess some people like going for the whole "my-life-is-so-fabulous-and-busy-that-i-don't-even-have-time-to-visit-my-optician" look.

only wearing the frames of glasses is like wearing shoes without soles, or like bringing out a bag that doesn't have a bottom---it's f'n pointless.

2011-12-30T17:34:00.003+07:00

the guy below in the photos is kind of my hero...

i stand on my balcony all the time, but i have never seen anyone up on that ledge like i did just now. and it's not the fact that this guy is actually up there, but that he found one of the best reading spots i've ever seen in my life.

i'd really like to give him a high-five---thanks, guy.

2011-12-29T12:43:00.005+07:00

dignity.

lately, i've been thinking about this word a lot.

walking through the streets of bangkok and having the opportunity to take in the daily lives of some of its honest, hardworking, everyday people has taught me so much about the meaning of dignity, and what it takes to truly posess and bestow the word.

2011-12-27T02:26:00.014+07:00

"put yourself out there" or "why don't you find someone online or through the many gay apps that exist?"

it's been awhile since i've even thought about dating because, well, i haven't found anyone that i'm remotely compatible with here in bangkok. friends here in thailand always try and suggest that i do this or do that to meet someone, but a lot of the approaches that they want me to explore just don't suit me.

let's talk about online dating and smartphone-app dating in particular. my biggest problem with these outlets are, PEOPLE ARE GOD DAMN LIARS. i understand that online dating and meeting people with smartphone-apps are all about marketing yourself to any prospects, but seriously---give me a break. how people choose to make their online profiles is basically how they want others to define themselves since there's no practical knowledge of their own to go by, and it just completely BOGGLES my mind that so many guys choose to define themselves in the manner that they do.

the pictures that some people post of themselves is what gets me the most because they're so transparently deceptive. i just don't understand when people post pictures that actually aren't accurate, everyday portrayals of themselves at all. these sorts of photos are sometimes easy to spot because they're usually taken from some unnatural angle, or the photo's been cropped in some distracting way, making you wonder why they went through all the trouble. i mean anyone with a camera is able to produce photos of themselves looking like this, but does it make sense to use them in order to get dates? what do you expect will happen when you meet the person in real life? i guarantee that the first thing going through their mind is, "you're a fucking liar," because that's what recently happened to me. it's like they've somehow magically captured this rare perspective on camera, and am opting to designate it as how they normally look---and if they can lie about this, then i feel like they're capable of misleading people about other stuff as well. it had been a very, very long time since i've met up with someone that i've met through a smartphone-app, but i did so last weekend at the movies. as soon as i saw him, all i thought was, "who the hell is this guy?" i'm not adamant on a set sort of looks because attraction to another person is all i need, but don't lie and mislead me to believe in something that doesn't exist. then we have all these dudes that only post torso or pics of their body, and seriously, what is that all about? okay, sure, you're looking for sex and that's fine, but for anyone who is looking for something with a bit more substance, i could give less than two fucks about how cut your body is. just because you have that body, it doesn't mean i'm going to like you. it doesn't mean you get to be an asshole. it doesn't mean we're going to get along. it doesn't mean that we're going to have engaging conversation. the physical stuff is just a part of what i want in a relationship, but for the people who have faceless muscle pics, they're showcasing what they believe to be are their best assets. and that's totally fine if that's what they want, but that's not my major concern because there are way more important things in life. and i hate to bring up age because i don't think it's that pertinent, but i would expect that when people get to a certain age, they want more than just casual sex, and that they're beyond posting pics of only their abs. then there's these profiles of people that are so boastful and full of bullshit that they think impresses others. they list all this stuff that to them, makes them come off as so much more smarter and appealing, but all that self-centered exaggeration is such a damn turn off. just because you've done this or that, that in no way makes you any more special than anyone else---why can't these stories be shared in privacy on a first date instead? humility and modesty is much better to highlight in your profile, rather than singing one's own praises. don't even get me started on people who list certain musicians and authors as their favorites, yet they can't seem to hold a decent conversation about any of them. then there's all these guys who list that they're in relationships or partnered, yet they have all this salacious stuff up on their profile. i think it's just so disrespectful to do that if you're in a relationship. you say you just want to make friends, but let's cut the bullshit. if you wanted to simply make new friends, get rid of the shirtless pics in your profile and go find a new hobby. what you're seeking is attention and i suggest you hide the fact that you're in a relationship because, well, why would anyone want to pursue anything with you if we're aware of the fact that you're doing this to your current boyfriend? the last thing about online and smartphone-app dating i want to discuss are the names that people choose for themselves. any grown-ass-man with a stupid-ass or immature profile name just makes me wonder about their judgement, and that we probably see the world very differently.

i could rant on and on about this, but i will restrain from going any further.

the thing is, in whatever venue or outlet, i do try to sincerely meet people. but there's just so much bullshit that has to be put up with while doing so, and it's just frustrating. people's behavior just alarms me sometimes, and when i see someone acting a certain way, all i can think is how i don't want to be involved with anyone like that.

and don't get me wrong because i'm the first to admit that I'M NO SPECIAL CATCH and I KNOW i'm not these guys' cups-of-tea either hahah. i don't feel that i'm better or worse than these guys. we're all searching for our own versions of happiness, but evidently we're using completely different dictionaries. i mean i've dated people that i've met online and on smartphone-apps before, but i now know that i mostly shouldn't and usually try not to go looking for people this way anymore, because it just doesn't suit me. sometimes all of it just makes me think, where are all the guys who have viewpoints that are similar to mine? where's all the sincerity and meaning that should be a part of the dating process?

but then again, i'm in no rush to meet anyone. i mean sure it would be nice, but it's not vital or a priority in my life.

as for now, i'll leave you with my version of a flattering picture i just took of myself. like i said, anyone can produce one. and while this is me and i do look like this, i would never use this as a dating photo because i know it's not an accurate portrayal of how i look on a daily basis. plus, in it, i'm also in desperate need of some visine.

2011-12-27T00:15:00.003+07:00

i need to channel my irritation into more positive outlets...

thank god for phone calls with friends in NYC to put things into perspective.

2011-12-26T22:51:00.003+07:00

my front yard.

2011-12-25T21:10:00.004+07:00

"i thought about you.
i think about you.
you and me."

dexter from the movie one day.

i like the quote's simplicity.

2011-12-21T23:21:00.002+07:00

when cooking shows no longer tell you the measurements of ingredients, does it mean its intention is purely entertainment?

2011-12-21T23:06:00.005+07:00

"---nice and glittery and gorgeous.."

sandra lee on "food network holiday's holiday party episode."

this was free on itunes this week.

2011-12-20T23:57:00.001+07:00

this makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

2011-12-19T01:08:00.001+07:00

sometimes, when i'm walking alone at night through the streets of bangkok, all i can think is "what the fuck am i doing with my life??"

2011-12-14T01:39:00.002+07:00

i'm heading to cambodia again in a few hours to acquire a new visa.

i'll be going to the same thai/cambodian border-town that i went to last time (link HERE and HERE), poipet, and will be spending a few days there while i wait for all the paperwork to go through at the thai embassy, which is a few hours away.

poipet is a major border checkpoint for people traveling through southeast asia. even when i went to visit all the temples in angkor-wat, cambodia, my friends and i passed through poipet to get to our destination (link HERE). i've been told that it's also where large quantities of drugs and whatnot are also smuggled into thailand. in addition, this is where new york times journalist, nicholas kristof, once deliberately purchased an underaged cambodian prostitute for about $200 in order free her from the brothel where she was forcibly working as a sex slave.

anyway, having to go here alone isn't the most exciting thing because there's not much to see or do, and there's pretty much no internet service anywhere. on my last visa run there, my hotel had one communal computer with internet, and it was an inconvenience for the workers to set it up for me. even when i did manage to sign on, i swear it was like going online in 1998.

but alas, i need me my visa and will make the best of my 3-day excursion by staying in my hotel room and hopefully getting some work done. plus, i'll have access to a tv, which is a rarity for me so i'm sorta excited (it's the little things in life that count!).

have a great rest-of-the-week.

2011-12-13T12:50:00.000+07:00

all i need is a goddamn chance.

2011-12-12T14:29:00.004+07:00

the weather here is heavenly during its winter. there's no humidity, rain is non-existent, and the skies sometimes goes for days without seeing a single cloud.

i have the nice breeze coming through my open balcony-door and window in addition to the sun and sound of traffic on petchaburi---it's making it impossible to not enjoy the day.

happy monday.

2011-12-08T13:22:00.000+07:00

gratitude.

2011-12-08T01:12:00.004+07:00

this bar will always be very special to me here in bangkok.

2011-12-06T03:59:00.004+07:00

"I really think Asian guys who speak english in American accents are hot."

this is what a guy from australia said to me at a club before he attempted to ram his tongue down my throat. how am i supposed to respond to something like that?

one thing's for sure, it sure didn't make me want to make out with him.

2011-12-05T01:38:00.001+07:00

i've got to stop drunk dialing.

2011-12-04T01:31:00.002+07:00

i'd rather have thai amphibians over nyc cockroaches ANYDAY.

2011-12-02T02:29:00.004+07:00

here's a mini dogs-of-bangkok update with a special guest appearance from mr. frog.

2011-12-01T02:02:00.005+07:00

i'm not sure of when i first became aware of this communicative trait in certain types of individuals, but have you ever been in the midst of some sort of discussion with a group of people, and then you realize that everyone there is just trying to outdo one another? no one ever seems to ask any questions, but instead it's just boastful statement after statement that is unsuccessfully disguised as some sort of senseless story. the thing is, most people who do this are oblivious and don't even know that they talk in this manner, and they just go on and on about themselves as if the sound of their voice is like music to everyone's ears.

people just don't seem to listen to one another sometimes. so many people just want to be heard, but they don't want to engage in a symbiotic conversation. and while i enjoy listening to people and learning about their stories, at the same time, being surrounded by people like this is too much work, and quite pointless after a while.

2011-11-29T22:44:00.002+07:00

i took this photo today while on the bus.

now this is what i call V.I.P. seating.

2011-11-28T00:23:00.004+07:00

"The trouble lay with him, not the novel."

for esmé---with love and squalor in nine stories by j.d. salinger. page 104.

2011-11-27T21:32:00.007+07:00

sometimes, i just really don't understand some people's behavior. it's all so mind-boggling.

2011-11-26T22:58:00.005+07:00

it's saturday night.

i don't mind staying in alone because i'm used to it, but it would nice to at least have some company or veg out at someone's place. no complaints from me though, i'm more than happy to stay in most of the times---i just wish i had people to stay in with every now and then.

so on thanksgiving, a good friend said she'd join me for dinner. this was her first time celebrating the holiday because she's not american, and even though we ended up at a sort of random buffet, the food that was there was still pretty good and it was nice and low-key as well. she had a great time and we both left nice and full, so we decided to walk back to my place. that was a good hour's walk through central bangkok, and it was good to just talk the whole way back.

here are some photos she took with her iphone during dinner. unfortunately, she doesn't want to send me any of the photos with her in it and these are all i have to remember to night by.

2011-11-26T00:11:00.007+07:00

i took this with my friend's camera today.

i sometimes can't seem to take clear photos with this camera and so i don't use it too often. but the weather today was perfect yet again, and i decided to bring it out for a change.

ahhh, bangkok.

2011-11-23T01:16:00.010+07:00

while i still enjoy living here in thailand, i think the holidays have sort of got me feeling all sentimental.

i did some research and there are some thanksgiving restaurant happenings going on in bangkok, but i'm still on the fence about where to go. the best option seems to be a buffet at this nice hotel, but i'm not a big buffet guy and plus i'd be alone. then i'd have to carry my shit every time i'd get up for a new plate of food on top of feeling like i have to eat as much as i can to get my money's worth, and then i'd most likely start to do some emotional eating.

it would be nice to have some close american friends here in thailand but i'll figure it out. being alone on the holidays is not a big deal because i could always just call my family and friends to bother them that way. to anyone who is traveling or returning back to your home towns for the holidays, i can't even imagine how chaotic some of airports might be. but safe travels and i hope you have a great holiday with your loved ones.

all this holiday nostalgia had me looking through my old photos just now and i found the following that were taken a few days before i left NYC one and a half years ago---it's hard to believe that i've been away from the city, my friends and life for this long. sometimes i question what i've got to show for the past 18 months, but that's a whole other monster. anyway, these photos were taken after i got off of my shift at the east village restaurant i used to work at. my friends picked me up and we goofed around out front while eating some cookies before we went off to dance. in the last photo, junho and myself are posing like that to make fun of judy's posing haha.

so while i miss new york, i'm still liking bangkok and am content being here at this very moment of my life. i think after i get some turkey on thursday and wake up on friday morning, everything will return to its normal, tropical self.

happy thanksgiving, america!

2011-11-23T00:41:00.001+07:00

i <3 you, blogspot.

2011-11-22T13:39:00.000+07:00

food is my friend.

2011-11-21T12:52:00.002+07:00

people who smoke cigarettes while walking down the sidewalk have got to be some of the most dumbest and idiotic people that exist.

2011-11-20T13:22:00.006+07:00

christmas came early in bangkok!

i went to a convenience store today in a busy area and it was stocked with shelves and shelves of good-quality and brand-named water. for the first time, this year i'm going to add "drinking water available for purchasing" to my list of thanksgiving stuff.

speaking of thanksgiving, i'm still not sure what to do since i don't really have any options haha. at times like these, i really miss being back in nyc. i miss cooking for people and inviting my friends over. i miss vegging out and talking while getting wasted in the comforts of home. i miss all the interaction that goes on and trying to remember all of it the next morning.

also, the weather is nothing short of perfect today. the rainy season is over and thailand is headed into its winter but trust me, it's still hot and tropical as hell. thank god the humidity is gone and the skies have been cloudless everyday.

sadly though, my good friend is moving to another country and is having his farewell party tonight. my life in bangkok would've been completely different had i not met him through my old boss in korea, so tonight is going to be extra special.

2011-11-18T18:55:00.003+07:00

it's ridiculous that bottled-water is still pretty much impossible to find here in central bangkok.

while some convenience stores have begun selling them again, their tiny selection usually flies off the shelves in no time and is either composed off all these random companies that i'm sceptical about drinking, or extremely overpriced bottles of evian. even when i had a late lunch today in a building that's filled with somewhat modern establishments, i was surprised to find that the restaurant i was eating at had no bottled-watter to sell its customers.

i'm still grateful that the floodwaters never hit my area of bangkok, but also can't wait until things return to normal.

2011-11-17T11:29:00.001+07:00

cycles. waves.

ups. and downs.

sadness. misery.

2011-11-14T13:10:00.007+07:00

it's taken me close to two hours to write 1 paragraph of this short story i'm working on. sometimes i feel like my brain and concentration are floating above me somewhere, and i have to constantly grab for them in order to focus and think clearly.

i was looking at the calendar just now and i can't believe that thanksgiving is already next week---yikes. i have no friends here in bangkok that are american or who celebrate the holiday, so i need to start figuring out how i'm going to get my hands on some turkey this year.

happy monday.

2011-11-12T15:10:00.010+07:00

i still haven't been able to purchase a new camera since it was STOLEN a few months ago.

but here are some un-uploaded photos i took here in bangkok with my former camera.

2011-11-12T13:22:00.005+07:00

last night, i dreamt that i was hysterically sobbing inside someone's bathroom, and i could physically feel its aftereffects when i woke up soon after.

so odd...

2011-11-10T13:52:00.001+07:00

what is the world coming to...

2011-11-10T01:50:00.001+07:00

prostitutes definitely live in my building.

2011-11-08T21:03:00.000+07:00

at times like these, i really miss gulping down some good old nyc tap water.

2011-11-08T13:45:00.007+07:00

thailand's worst floods in over half a century have been going on for months now, and it's completely frustrating that government and media outlets have been broadcasting inconsistent news from the very start. even though i live in the central part of bangkok, it still feels quite challenging to gather credible facts about what exactly is going on.

everything here still feels unstable. water and basic necessities are STILL IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND at shops, and walking into some convenience stores and supermarkets with shelves that have been apocalyptically empty for weeks has become the norm. the good news is that if you go to a restaurant or other establishments, they will most likely have bottled water to sell. however if you want some to drink at home, you're pretty much fucked. i myself have still been rationing the water i've had at my house for the past week or so, and am hoping it will last me until the stores are selling it again.

just when i thought the number wouldn't increase, as of now, over 500 people have died from this natural disaster. trying to comprehend the considerable amount of lives lost is really saddening, and i can't believe that the death toll is continuing to rise.

every time it's reported that the floodwaters might reach the inner parts of bangkok, the government and media always reassure residents not to worry. then there's always these pinnacle points when the news will say that the worst the city should embrace for will be on X day, and then after X day passes by without anything happening, one just assumes everything is going to be fine. then the media will again start reporting that actually the worst is yet to come on X day, and then that day too will pass without anything happening. everything has just turned into this cycle of panic and reassurance, and then more panic and reassurance.

the latest i've heard was from students i sometimes tutor. i know how kids just sometimes love to make everything so melodramatic, so it's difficult to tell when i should or shouldn't believe them. however, after hearing all this news from the students first, i began to hear about it from other adults as well. the latest i've been hearing is that all the flooding that's happened up until now was only THE FIRST WAVE that came from the northern regions of thailand. the looming and unavoidable SECOND WAVE is supposedly all the flooded water that's been building up in the flooded suburbs and areas outlying bangkok, and this blackened and stagnant water has become filthy, and is teeming with human waste and diseases. this dirty water is supposedly continuing to rise in the flooded regions, and it's inevitable that all the strongholds will give way, allowing the water to make its way to the central parts of the capital city. i've been told this second wave is going to be way worse than the first because of all the possible health effects, and it's supposedly guaranteed to affect almost all of bangkok.

some media outlets are also reporting that the flooding should last for weeks more. i've been trying to keep up with all the reported news stories and it seems that certain areas are still continuing to be declared to dangerous to inhabit and residents have been ordered to evacuate. i'm happy to report though that right now, the central and inner part of the city are still completely dry, and that's where i live.

without the government and media outlets providing factual news, i don't know what to think or believe at this point. i just hope thailand is able to recover as fast as possible from all this devastation.

2011-11-06T13:59:00.005+07:00

the weather is continuing on its perfect streak and it is such a beautiful sunday afternoon right now here in bangkok.

i really feel like i should go outside to sweat out last night's toxins a bit since it's so nice out, but i can't get myself to leave my place.

it's been some time since i had such a relaxing lazy-sunday.

2011-11-05T18:49:00.003+07:00

"I'd like to direct your attention
To something that needs directing to..."

where life begins by madonna.

so apt, yet to the point!

2011-11-05T10:07:00.002+07:00

"No matter how far you run. Distance might not solve anything."

kafka on the shore by haruki murakami. page 4.

2011-11-04T12:44:00.004+07:00

the weather in bangkok is absolutely perfect again today---what a beautiful friday afternoon.

i hope everyone has a great day as well.

2011-11-03T21:39:00.004+07:00

sometimes, i feel like the only thing i do all day is just sweat.

2011-11-02T01:05:00.001+07:00

what's going on in the world?

2011-11-01T14:33:00.010+07:00

on certain days, i might have to ride a motorcycle-taxi, aka motosai (previously blogged about HERE and HERE), up to six different times to simply get around to where i need to go.

before moving to bangkok, i had never really ridden on a motorcycle before so living here and incorporating them into my daily life has completely changed my views on them. i like relying on motosais in thailand because they're fast, affordable and efficient---especially since the traffic here can be an absolute nightmare. on the downside though, riding them within the bustling city can be pretty dangerous here in bangkok and a friend of mine told me about someone she knew who died in an accident while taking one.

there's something about riding a motorcycle that can make any day better and i love the feeling of being on one when the weather is nice out. i've come to the conclusion that when i can afford it, i really want to buy some sort of motorcycle or scooter when i eventually return to nyc. i'll probably get a grandma-friendly version and use it more for practical reasons than for racing teenagers.

it's also sad though that riding on motosais is literally the only type of physical contact i have whatsoever anymore. maybe i'm turning into a pervert.

anyway, here's some pics i recently took with my friend's camera on a gorgeous day.

2011-11-01T14:14:00.005+07:00

contrary to what people have thought, the weather in bangkok for the past two weeks or so has been nothing short of amazing.

it's actually notably been very beautiful out almost everyday and within the past couples of weeks, i can only remember two very brief rainstorms that moved on as quickly as they came. this recent bout of humid-free weather makes me think of a beautiful spring day in nyc and it feels great to walk around under the sun.

thankfully, the worst of thailand's flooding seems to have passed and the waters that came from the north of the country will slowly start to recede now. while the floodwaters never reached the area of bangkok i reside in---nor any other central parts of the city---the outer suburbs have been heavily affected. also, close to 400 people died from the floods by drowning or electrocution, which is just devastating.

i really hope the country is able to heal and move forward.

ps- bottled water and other basic necessities are still impossible to find in city stores and supermarkets.

2011-10-31T20:30:00.002+07:00

"It's better not to go deciding too many things now. People go through changes like you'd never believe."

dance dance dance by haruki murakami. page 366.

2011-10-29T19:02:00.004+07:00

"Nothin' to do
No where to go, oh,
I wanna be sedated."

i wanna be sedated by the ramones.

i can't wait until life returns back to normal here in bangkok.

2011-10-27T22:14:00.008+07:00

more and more people i know have decided to evacuate bangkok and even flee thailand.

as for me, i'm perpetually broke so leaving for my non-existent escape-destination is not happening---i will be staying put in the city.

today alone, i was told such a range of stories from different people about what is to be expected from the floods, and a lot of it to me just sounds like frenzied hearsay: "when the water hits the inner areas of bangkok, the city's plumbing is going to give way and the floodwaters are going to be filled with human waste and diseases" OR "the second wave of flooding will hit this weekend, but the unreported third and fourth waves will be coming soon after" OR "one of the dams in the northern region of the flooded areas has gave way, and the floodwaters are approaching more violently because of it" OR "the floodwaters are going to be swarming with crocodiles that will eat people."

it's easy to be swept up in all the inevitable hysteria that is affixed to any situation when residents are forced to wait for an impending natural disaster to reach them. however, i refuse to believe anything unless i've learned about it from a credible source or seen it with my own eyes.

the one thing that actually does scare me however is the fact that drinking-water and basic food supplies are still impossible to find here. every convenience store and supermarket i went to today is still in dire lack of supplies. even though i walk into them hoping to find shelves re-stocked with basic necessities, all of the stores in central bangkok just seem to get emptier and emptier with each day.

i also just read an article in the Wall Street Journal (link HERE) recognizing this issue, and the newspaper stated that bangkok should not expect to see shipments of drinking-water and basic food supplies until the middle of next week... i really hope that it's much sooner than that because i already know of people who are out of drinking-water.

2011-10-26T21:55:00.023+07:00

the flooding in thailand seems to be only getting worse.

drinking-water and other basic necessities are pretty much still impossible to find in stores that are located in the center (main parts) of bangkok. the message that thailand's ministry of education has obscurely-communicated by shutting down ALL schools until november 7 (a far-away THIRTEEN DAYS FROM NOW), is extremely worrisome. the government has declared tomorrow and the day after---thursday and friday---national holidays in order for people to evacuate or flee. thailand's death toll from the floods is also rising and currently stands at 373 lives.

the thai media is reporting that while the first wave of floods has hit the capital city, a second wave is to come again this weekend. however, the flooding-situation seems to have been going on for some time now with a lot of contradictory reporting, so it's difficult to say whats's going to happen at this point. since the flooding became a credible threat to bangkok, the media and government have been assuring residents that everything will be fine, but in actuality things seemed to just have continued to get worse. i think in situations like these, it's easy to jump to conclusions and be melodramatic---which i always try to avoid---so i'm trying to stay grounded and calm until i know there's a credible threat to my area. but all i know is that with each passing day, the water seems to be reaching closer and closer into the center of the city, which is where i live, and i'm starting to hear of more people that are deciding to flee the city and the country.

the flooding is on everyone's mind and while it's impossible to not be affected by it, life for the most part is still moving on. while some places have closed, most stores, restaurants and other establishments i've passed by in the unaffected parts of the city have all remained open but with a wall of sandbags protecting them. the mood of the un-hit parts of bangkok is still relatively calm as well. however, if you go into stores and supermarkets, the air is filled with this nervous energy as people uneasily scramble to stock up on whatever they can. i was in a supermarket earlier today trying to buy some lunch, and immediately left because i could feel myself getting anxious and tense just from being in there and surrounded by the frenzy.

thankfully though, i was able to score some bottled water earlier in the week. on monday, i accompanied this korean mom to her son's parent-teacher conferences at an international school in order to translate for her. the school was on the outskirts of bangkok and one hour away from where i live. while there, we randomly stopped at this nearby, small mom-and-pop convenience store to purchase some cool drinks, and lo' and behold, the store actually had some drinking-water available. there wasn't much remaining, but i was able to score two 12-packs of small bottles of good quality bottled water. i have to note that they were good quality because even though there's a large selection of bottled water that's sold here in thailand, sometimes i'll study the labels and be reluctant to allow it to enter my body. nevertheless, i was so excited to have scored some water that afternoon---and then my paranoia kicked in. when we left the mom-and-pop store, the owner put each of the two packs inside individual, clear plastic bags. since i already sometimes get puzzling looks when riding the city buses due to the fact that foreigners rarely take them, i didn't want to attract any more attention to myself with my priceless bounties. so when we rode a taxi back to the korean mom's building, i asked her to spare two non-clear plastic bags. she asked me why, and i told her that i needed them in order to cover up the water for my 30-minute bus-ride home (i'm from nyc and i always just have this gut instinct to protect my shit). she told me it was completely unnecessary, but gave me the bags after i insisted. i'm happy to say that i made it back to my place safe and sound that evening, and i now have enough water to last me about a week (if i ration it and drink it sparingly).

i google-mapped bangkok's flooding situation, and the images below are how the city is standing as of this very moment. bangkok is nearly surrounded by water on all sides. i'm so grateful that where i live is still unaffected, and hope that it will stay this way. but it's really upsetting to see all the effected areas while imagining the 2.5 million lives that have been altered or destroyed from this natural disaster since it began.

please send your well-wishes and positive thoughts to thailand, and keep the country and its residents in your prayers.

2011-10-23T21:39:00.011+07:00

as of now, 356 people have perished due to the catastrophic floods that are inundating thailand.

the floods hit the northern region of the country the worst and while bangkok was mostly unaffected until recently, the water has slowly been moving towards the capital city. i live in the downtown area of bangkok and haven't seen any flooding around here so far. however, i went to the outskirts of the city this past week to run an errand during the daytime and encountered areas that were already flooded. while there, i also saw that some of bangkok's elevated highways in that area only have a few available lanes that cars can pass through because as a last resort, massive amounts of people have been parking their cars on the outermost lanes in order to protect them from the rising waters.

in addition, trying to purchase drinking-water in bangkok has been IMPOSSIBLE for the past week because every store has sold out. i'm not sure when or how stores will be selling drinking-water again, but i only have about five bottles left in my fridge so i'm trying to ration as much as possible. the store shelves that are usually stocked with canned-goods and instant-food have also been wiped clean throughout the city, and whether you're going to a local convenience store or expensive supermarket, encountering sections of empty shelves is quite common.

i've been trying to keep as updated as i can on the flooding situation and what the impact on bangkok will be, but it's been difficult to know for sure because all the media outlets seems to be reporting different information. for the most part, life in bangkok has remained pretty normal. some exits of certain subway stops have been closed but apart from that, i haven't seen anything out of the ordinary when it comes to the city's public transportation. all the stores, restaurants and other establishments i've come across have all remained open as well, so it's easy to feel unaffected by everything at times.

the only thing i've really seen that's out of the ordinary from where i am is that my building and soi (thai word for side-street) lost its electricity about an hour ago, but thankfully it came back on. i've been living at my place since march and this is the first time i've ever experienced a power-outage here, so it's slightly nerve-wracking. but so far everything else has luckily been alright, and i really hope it stays this way.

2011-10-23T02:10:00.006+07:00

i went to a g-shock event this past friday night. the whole night was pretty unexpected because i originally was planning to only have dinner with a friend since i had to get up early on saturday morning. our night just somehow snowballed---in a good way---and we ended up at this g-shock party that was sort of far (for bangkok's standards) from the main area of the city.

the space was large and everyone was having a great time inside and i had a lot of fun. the stage was pretty trippy as well---here are a few photos i was able to take while inebriated.

2011-10-21T00:55:00.007+07:00

i don't know when this happened, but i think something about my aura has assimilated with thai culture. recently, some thai people have mistaken me for thai and assumed i spoke the language. i don't think of it in any particular way, but i guess it sort of makes me chuckle because it never used to happen and then it's just been consistent since it began. i think if i plan to stay here for a substantial amount of time, i should probably at least attempt to learn the language and not be such an idiot about it.

i'm a daily bus rider and i know how to get around to wherever i need to go by public transportation. i personally don't enjoy riding taxis every time i need to go somewhere because it's not practical and i've just had too many issues with cabs here---i don't want that to become a part of my daily norm. i grew up walking and riding the bus, trains, and subways anyway and actually prefer public transportation if i'm traveling alone. relying on bangkok's public transportation system is fun and i don't mind it because i usually don't want to deal with people. i just want to stare out a window instead.

riding the bus in bangkok is especially interesting because there are such a variety of different buses and the vehicles that comprise them. there's the pretty nice city bus that is the cleanest and has tv's inside, or the ฿6.5 one that is super old and has to have all the windows drawn up because there's no air conditioning. some of these really old-seeming buses are huge as well, so it's sometimes nice to ride one when it's empty on a cool night. i was on one the other evening and sitting in a single seater positioned next to the right side of the bus. this was near the door, and when i saw a grandpa get on, i offered him my seat. i was quite sweaty at that moment because it was humid and rainy in addition to the fact that the bus had no damn a.c. and couldn't roll its windows up because of the rain. when he sat down, the grandpa started talking to me in thai and i wanted to tell him i couldn't speak thai, but he kept going on and i wasn't able to find the right moment to interrupt him. instead, i just smiled, laughed and nodded my head along with him. and at one point the woman sitting in the seat in front turned around to look at the old man and smile at him. i sure wish i knew what the hell he was saying. i finally told him i wasn't able to understand him and then the grandpa smiled and said "thank you" while pointing to his seat.

the buses in bangkok also have this thing where even though the route-number might be the same, that doesn't mean the buses will go in the exact same way. there's four different versions of bus #11 that i've seen, and while the majority of their routes go along the same path, they all have different end-points. another factor that differentiates theses buses is that even though they share the same bus-number, some of the buses might be the ฿6.5 bus or the nicer one with the tv's. that's how i learned that the bus fare doesn't really depend on the distance you're going, but rather what type of bus you're on. i'm sort of proud to say that i learned all this through the old-fashioned way of trial-and-error. whenever i asked anyone i know about how to ride the buses in bangkok, they never know since none of my friends ever take the bus.

sometimes when i'm on the bus though, people will look at me with a "HUH?" look because i'm a foreigner and not many ride the buses. and it's especially annoying at times because i'll be standing at the bus stop waiting, and taxi after taxi will pull up to me thinking that i'm in need of one. i understand that they're just doing their job, but it's like dude, come on---i'm standing at a bus stop! if i needed a taxi i'd get one and not just stand there like an idiot.

here are some random bus-related photos i took while in bangkok before my camera got stolen.

2011-10-18T22:33:00.003+07:00

trying to always go down the mature route when it comes to life-decisions is really hard.

2011-10-15T12:13:00.006+07:00

i recently read an informative and wonderfully-written 1996 profile of haruki murakami that was published in the new yorker, and i just wanted to share the piece's aptly-written first page.

(i thoroughly enjoyed ian buruma's writeup and it took it upon myself to produce this image to post on my blog with my digital subscription to the new yorker. all rights are reserved by the new yorker and will be removed upon request).

2011-10-14T22:31:00.000+07:00

loneliness can sometimes make you do crazy things.

2011-10-14T05:57:00.002+07:00

dear bangkok,

i <3 you.

best,
thwany

2011-10-12T14:59:00.008+07:00

most of thailand is flooded and sadly---as of now---over 280 people around the country have perished because of it.

the current situation is the worst flooding the country has seen in half a century, but luckily so far, bangkok is one of the few areas that have been pretty unaffected. however, the floodwaters from the northern area of the country are supposed to hit bangkok within a day or two, and some people are starting to freak out, especially the students i tutor. yesterday, every kid i tutored mentioned the impending floods that are supposedly going to overtake bangkok, and listening to all their somewhat exaggerated versions really made me wonder if i should be worried as well. i've been keeping current with the news about all of the country's historic flooding, but it all seemed so distant so imagining that it might reach bangkok didn't cross my mind.

i really hope the flooding doesn't reach the area of bangkok i live in, but just in case it does, i've stocked up on a few days worth of water and light food, thrown away my trash, and i guess that's really all i can do. i also hope the rest of the country is able to recover from this tragic natural disaster.

2011-10-09T00:51:00.009+07:00

one thing i miss the most about nyc is its food. i'm not a big fancy eater, so it's all the everyday dishes that i'm hankering for. if i could fed-ex some food overnight to bangkok, i'd go for:

a mutligrain bagel with sun-dried-tomato-cream-cheese from murray's bagels.
pork buns from momofuku.
chicken over rice with extra, extra white sauce.
greasy chinese takeout of fried chicken wings w/ vegetable fried rice, and extra packets of duck sauce, please.
a hotdog from the street with mustard and onions.
a gyro with fries.
a baoguette sandwich with extra cilantro from baoguette.
a jamaican beef patty.

2011-10-08T23:46:00.003+07:00

i've come to learn that loneliness is usually a state of mind, but then that can also be a load of bullshit as well.

if you spend most of your time alone with no one to talk to, that will naturally lead to thinking constantly and sometimes obsessively about stuff, and that is what i think leads to my actual loneliness. you can try and keep busy, but whether you're bored or busy, there's still no one but your own thoughts to engage with. i spend most of my time alone and find myself feeling pretty lonesome. then i think about how i would really like to experience being in a serious relationship with someone i genuinely like, but i've felt lonely like this before even when i was in a relationship, so i think it's just me. and so now i'm really adamant on figuring out how to fix this.

2011-10-08T03:40:00.002+07:00

"You get your hair cut: you shave every morning. You aren’t a poet anymore, or a revolutionary or a rock star. You don’t pass out drunk in phone booths or blast the Doors at four in the morning. Instead, you buy life insurance from your friend’s company, drink in hotel bars, and keep your dental bills for medical deductions. That’s normal at twenty-eight.”

new york mining disaster by haruki murakami in the january 11, 1999 issue of the new yorker.

2011-10-07T11:38:00.006+07:00

i'm house-sitting.

2011-10-06T14:27:00.002+07:00

"The striking feature was his style in the discussion of hot topics with a lot of big egos. His style was to step back and listen. There were some important people who looked pretty bored; he was not, he was following. He carefully listened."

the bridge: the life and rise of barack obama by david remnick. page 306.

2011-10-06T13:28:00.002+07:00

i love all these shorts from j.crew's spring 2012 presentation.

2011-10-06T00:40:00.001+07:00

social-networking just isn't for me.

goodbye twitter.

2011-10-05T21:49:00.001+07:00

i just want to vanish.

2011-10-05T13:35:00.005+07:00

frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration. frustration.

2011-10-05T09:00:00.006+07:00

contagion started playing this past weekend in bangkok's lido theatre.

this theater is a bit more low-key compared to all the large mega-plexes that are located in every mall of bangkok, and plays movies that generally have more layers and dimension. i enjoy going to lido because it has more personality, and is usually less crowded than other bangkok theaters as well.

as for the movie itself, it was nothing short of awesome. i thought it was very well made, and the storyline is plausible and terrifyingly realistic. after watching contagion, i instantly thought of my best friend in nyc, junho, who is an ER doctor, and how grateful i am to have him as a best friend haha.

it's been awhile since i watched a movie in the theatres that i really enjoyed---i definitely recommend checking out contagion. also, it was such a trip to walk out of the theatre and into the masses at bangkok's bustling area of siam after watching the movie alone.