burned out.

my graduation is in 3 weeks. it's so surreal.

anyhoo, i have THREE weeks of classes left as well. then my collegiate life as i know it is over.

i worked today at this store in soho that i've worked on and off at for about 3 years. it actually felt nice to be talking with people and doing customer service. while i know i'll probably get sick of it again, sometimes it feels good just talking to people.

anyhoo, nothing to really update about. it's my parents' 29th wedding anniversary tomorrow so they went away for the night to go upstate to some cabin. i have no idea where they're going or why, and i honestly don't want to know. it just makes me happy that they take aside some time to be with eachother. i feel that my parents' relationship witheachother has gotten better and better with time, sometime like this would've never happened to years ago.

also, my cousin's sister from AZ came into town for Thanksgiving and has been here since thurs. she's really nice and i wish i wasn't working this weekend to take them out.

happy thanksgiving.

i am thankful for many many things.

wow. i finished my paper but i am soo sleepy and tired at the moment.i have class from 10 to noon, and then another class from 6-8 with a 6 hour break in between. i'm thinking of going to watch a movie, but i'm afraid i'm going to fall asleep in it.

i really don't want to go to class, but i have to think of the brightside. in one month i will never be able to do this again. i should enjoy it while i can.

when i put my mind to it, writing does come to me at ease. you know i have to start getting a lot more serious about my writing. it's the one thing i have going for me. i look at other people who are goodlooking, rich, smart, etc etc and in the back of my mind i think, "i'm still a better writer than all of them."

while it might not be evident in this blog, i think my writing is pretty good.

anyway, i just need a good kick in the ass to take all this more seriously.

i have about 30 days until graduation. it's GO TIME until then.

ugh. drank way too much yesterday again. i hate the person i become when i drink, i've gotta cut back on all that. i woke up today at 4:30! 4 friggin 30! what a waste of a sat.

i love when people leave me comments, whether they're good or bad.

on a side note, tonight I WENT ON A DATE. not going to get into details, but it was really really bad. but i went on a date, finally, so i'm happy. i just rushed my ass home to change and get ready for this party i'm going to tonight at Pacha.

will update tomorrow about it if anything exciting happens. but i'm pretty sure nothing will.

i am so goddamn mfing drunk.

so much to say. will update about everything soon......

it's been YEARSSSSSS since i've partied... but next wed, i will be dancing my ass off here.

i want to go on a date.

went out again last might to several different places. too lazy to get into details, but i will talk about an interesting incident that happened to me at a karaoke bar in ktown.

after bar hopping last night, at one point i was at a friend of a friend's birthday party at chorus karaoke. the place is packed up the ass, and the crowd at the bar at this point of the night is about 4 people deep. so i notice at the table next to ours, there was a group of people that consisted of 2 celebrities. one was of that guy from clueless, the one that alicia silverstone tries to hook up with brittany murphy, but eventually he ends up liking alicia. also, at the table was erika christensen (correct spelling?).

okay, so i'm getting my vodka tonics at the bar and then at the moment, that guy actor was singing Eminem's Stan. i'm standing a little bit behind him, and when dido's parts come out i'm screaming them at the top of my lungs. his rapping to eminem was pretty good, and when those parts were over, he would hand the mic to me and dance as i sang the chorus. hahah it was pretty funny. i took a few random shots of them last night:

damn i am massively hungover at the moment. got home at like 5 last night, drunk as a skunk. one of my best friends, who is in med school at the moment, finally had the opportunity to go out last night so we all went out to celebrate with him. had dinner at this thai restaurant in chelsea which was reallyyyyy good. a few of our friends came about an hour late, so we killed two bottles of wine as we waited. then hit up la caverna and blvd on the bowery. it was a real fun night overall, we all danced our asses off. i woke up this morning to a phone call from my cousin in jail again.

in 2004, i went to Michigan in the summer to work as a camp counselor for a Korean-American adoptee camp. it was the first time in my life ever being exposed to Korean-American adoptees, and summer camp in general.

i had the time of my life, and loved all the kids i was in charge of. i havent gone back since that summer, mostly because i've been interning every summer since then, and also i hated some of the other staff that had been affiliated with the camp their whole lives.

anyhoo, one of my old campers recently found me on facebook and we started messaging eachother. he told me i "really had an impact on his life." wow... that kind of got to me. maybe there's hope for me afterall, and i actually could make a difference in someone's life. i always think that i'm too fucked up in the head to help anyone else, but maybe i'm just scared. i dunno.

this is like my fifth post in the past 12 hours since i've been home and trying to work on my papers that are due. ive almost finished my first one, i started it 46 minutes ago. i doubt i'll do the second one tonight, my mind it too scattered. after 2 redbulls, it's pretty hard to write an intelligent sentence.

holy shit. it's almost 3:30 and i'm only on the second paragraph of my first paper. i am such a god damn procrasinator.

on a side note, does anyone actually read this blog? yes i know, i'm pretty boring. ANDDDD, i'm lazy about capitalizing when i should and i make the stupidest grammatical and spelling mistakes that make me sound like an imbecil, but i'm too lazy to correct.

anyway, i realize my blog is visually really boring. so here are a few pictures i took for my photography class. these are all digital. i also have a whole bunch of great black and whites i took on 35mm but i haven't had time to scan them.

i feel so fucking burnt out. damn. i feel so down for some reason. i was sitting in school, all fine and normal and then all of a sudden i feel this strong wave of emotion and i just wanted to cry. i just wanted to be alone and cry.

i came out to two friends today, and it felt great.