i'm such a fool.

i wish i had someone to talk to on the phone.

i called in sick today at my retail job. i've been working there on and off for 3 years, and the only time i've ever called in sick was when i got hit by a car a few years ago, and even for that i only missed one day of work.

i haven't been feeling too well the past days. i feel so lost and anxious all the time.

wow, it's really been a while since i've really updated.

okay, hmm where to start.

this is my third week since starting at my new job, and i'm starting to feel more situated with each passing day, so it's been good. i'm enjoying the work and while i feel extremely stressed out at times, it feels good to be working and i feel really grateful to be employed. i don't really have much of a life anymore. i kind of just work... and then work again. i'm usually too exhausted to go out and ever do anything anymore, and i've also become a complete MISER and try not to spend money at all. i haven't purchased a magazine in almost a month, and with the books i purchased last week, i should have enough to get me through the summer, at the least. my only vices left now are coffee and music, and i guess those are two things i can't compromise on, i need them to get me through the day.

also since i'm working retail on the weekends, i don't go out on fridays and saturdays anymore. i know that paying for a long night out the next day just isn't worth it. my first weekend back at my retail job was EXTREMELY painful, because i wasn't used to spending 8 hours on my feet. but now i'm getting more used to it, so my feet to hurt as much anymore. yay!

you know it sucks because i usually think of all these eventful things that happen throughout my day, but by the time i get home i'm completely too lazy to try and post.

anyway, life is good!

my love-hate relationship with haruki murakami is currently on love.

i feel so damn lonely.