i want to disappear.

it's all downhill from here.

.

i left my phone at home today due to being in a rush this morning as i was getting ready for work.

i just got home and checked for any messages, and i didn't have a single missed call or text message. i don't know why, but pondering that made me really sad. to think that throughout the day, not a single person was looking for me or wanted to talk with me, it just makes me feel very lonely.

...maybe i should be careful of what i wish for, because i think it's actually come true.

whatever, i'm just throwing myself a pity party. i'll get over it.

here's an update for the sake of updating.

these are some pics i took in chicago last week. the weather was beautiful.

this past week of work completely wiped me out. it's a rainy and gloomy day here in nyc today and i'm in bed with my mac, doing absolutely nothing and loving it.

song of the moment that i'm obsessively listening to: Carrie Underwood- I Know You Won't.

this song is fucking amazing, it'll blow you away.

i'm talking to someone who i truly like and makes me content.

that is why life is good.

so much to write, i don't even know where to start.

i got a promotion last week at work, after only being at the magazine for 2 weeks, yes- 2 weeks! a position opened up and i approached my bosses, telling them i wanted to pursue it as aggressively as possible. i explained that it didn't matter if i didn't get the job, because i just started and have so much to learn, but if i let the opportunity pass without being vocal about it, i knew i'd regret it forever. the job i started at was the entry-level position that required at least 6 months of work before you could be promoted within the magazine. the girl before me was at this job level for more than one year and decided to leave the magazine because she was never promoted. anyhoo, i approached my boss and she set up some interviews for me with the top publishers of the magazine and i prepared this presentation and everything. i found out the job was between myself and this girl from esquire, who had pretty much had the position until i threw my hat in the ring.

suffice it to say, i ended up getting the job and am really proud of myself. it's exciting because i'm going to be on the masthead and all that good stuff. i grabbed it and got it for myself. why would i spend a year at a position when i know i can try and get promoted to a job that i would eventually want to be at in a much shorter period of time?

i'm actually going to chicago this thurs morning for work and coming back to nyc on fri. i'm excited because i'm staying at the hard rock hotel in chicago and i'm really looking forward to taking a bath. i never get to take a bath at home because our bathroom is a shithole, so i always look forward to staying in hotels. i remember even when i was in thailand and japan, i took a bath every night in the hotel rooms. i loved it.

speaking of my shithole bathroom at home, i'm moving out! it's a long story, but i have to be out of my house by thanksgiving and i think i'll be staying at my friend's place in the upper east side for a little bit.

things are changing so fast that i feel like my head is going to spin sometimes.

i don't know why but i just felt this sudden downpour of despair.

life is good.

every time i use the bathroom at work, i remind myself to blog about this.

this is to all the guys out there.

pubes in the urinal-- why? no, seriously, why???

WHY DO GUYS PUT PUBES IN THE URINAL??? who the fuck does that? every time i go pee at work, there's always pubes in the damn urinal. and no, they don't all look like they're from one person either.

guys, do you just whip out your dicks and pull a bunch of pubes out afterwards, sprinkling it in the urinal like magical fairy dust? it's as if pissing in the damn urinal isn't enough to mark your territory, you have to leave some hairs too? i just do not understand it. ok, i can understand maybe one or two falling out when you open your pants, but judging from what i see at work, that is definitely not the case.

to all you serial pube droppers out there, stop the madness!

i'm craving the banana pudding from magnolia bakery. honestly, i've never had one of their cupcakes. i know its what they're best known for, but cupcakes just ain't my thing. but put any banana or citrus flavored dessert in front of me, and oh man i can go to town.

the banana pudding from magnolia is just fucking amazing. i recently only discovered it this past year, but i find myself craving it sometimes. ugh, and i haven't gone to the gym in a week! i've been feeling so damn lazy and tired these days. all i want to do is eat and be sedentary.

i started work yesterday and so far so good. i'm going to hold back from writing about how much i love it and shit, because it's only the beginning and i know that i'm always like this at the start of any job.

however, i do know that i want to throw myself completely into work and forget about everything else in my life.

here's a fun story about a miserably hot nyc summer night.

a few weeks ago, on a hot and humid summer night, some friends and i were hanging out with my sis. we went to a few bars in the l.e.s., and afterwards while walking back to the car, we saw this large painting on the street. someone was throwing it away, but it was in great condition and wasn't half bad, so we decided to salvage and try to take it home to one of my friend's new apartments.

this painting was HUGE and extremely heavy. we carried it a few blocks and were all dying from exhaustion. the humidity was making us all sweat too, and i especially had my shirt drenched.

when we finally got to the car, we couldn't fit in inside. we tried every door and possible angle, but it just wouldn't fit. we put it back on the street.

the end.