my life is a junk show.

i've been in such a weird funk since i returned from aspen on sunday night. i called in sick at work today because i couldn't get out of bed. i need to get the hell out of it already and motivate.

it's crazy how there's so much shit going on in my life right now, it's just madness. i wish i could write about it here, but i feel like these are things that'll be easier to reflect on later down the line because right now, it's nothing but stress for me.

blahhhhhhhhhh.

i went to aspen for 5 days because that's where the magazine i work for throws the number one culinary event of the COUNTRY every year over father's day weekend. being there made me feel so proud to see months of hard work come to life. everyone just enjoyed themselves over the weekend, and even though i was there for work, it felt like an awesome 5-day vacation instead. being there was not work to me, i had the time of my fucking life and couldn't believe how lucky i was to be a part of such an amazing event. it was pretty cool to see that this whole event was put on by a team of no more than 15 people, and i was one of those people.

i did way too much stuff there to even begin listing all my favorite things, so i'll just leave you with these pictures. all i can say is: aspen is an absolutely breathtaking city, i saw melanie griffith walking down the main street of town smoking a cig, got kicked in the back thigh by ming tsai, finally was able to see the big dipper again in what felt like years, had a broken phone on my 2nd day there and i am still without a one even now (it's lonely without a cell phone at my apt, i have no one to talk to at all), got sunburnt and was able to take a bath. hell fucking yeah.

ps- on a random ass side note, how crazy is it that i saw my halal lady on the subway platform today late in the evening in koreatown and we said hi to eachother? haha nyc is really such a small city.

you know i used to dislike the thought of having to go to weddings.

i know many people will disagree with me, but as a gay man, weddings don't really do much for me. i don't go with any hopes of getting ideas for my future wedding, or having a wedding of my own to compare it to. it was just another social event that i had to go to and sit through. then i realized how much of a selfish asshole i was being, and came to see that weddings are a beautiful and joyous occasion where i should feel incredibly lucky to witness the union of a marriage, and what will hopefully be the beginning of a long and happy lifelong partnership.

the wedding i went to this past weekend was for a friend named Cora, who i've been friends with since junior high school. my best friends judy and jess were in the bridal party, so it was nice to to be with friends and also see people i haven't talked to in years. my other friend grace went as my date, and we drove out to the outdoor wedding in long island with my other friend susy. the ceremony was at noon and outdoors in the 95 degree heat and i have to admit that even though i could barely open my eyes because of the glaring sun, once we moved inside, the reception was great and we all had a fun time.

ps- don't you like my tie?

it is so fucking hot... i need to use someone for their ac...

i came home after work and did a 4 hour marathon of the korean drama, "On Air," and was able to finish the show today. the drama was very good, i definitely recommend it to everyone. the only thing is that i didn't shed a tear once during the whole drama, which makes me sad because i feel like i need a good cry. watching it did make me miss korea though, i'd love to live there for a year or two later down the line. i guess we'll see if that happens.

work has been a bit crazy the past few weeks. i'm going to aspen next week for the number one food event of the nation that is run by the magazine i work at. among my many responsibilities throughout the 5 days, i'm throwing a party on wednesday that i'm hoping will have a good turnout. i'm definitely looking forward to getting the fuck out of nyc for a while, it's going to be nice being surrounded by nature. i also found out that i'm going to "the oscars of the food world," aka the james beard foundation awards, this sunday at lincoln center. i'm looking forward to the free food, drinks and drunken schmoozing. maybe i'll meet a nice chef, who knows? i just don't have any nice clothes to wear though, sucks.

with an outdoor, daytime wedding this saturday in what's supposed to be a 90 degree and humid day, and the award show on sunday, i won't have much downtime this weekend. then it's two long days at work on tues and wed, and then i leave for aspen 6 am on wednesday.

i guess losing sleep is worth it sometimes and being busy isn't the worst problem to have.

i need some stability in my life.

i need to get out of this god damn funk.

sometimes i stay late at work so i can expense dinner on my corporate card.