why do i tell people about my problems with the subconscious goal of hoping to hear the reaction i want?

my life is my own, and i've got to realize that no one else's opinion matters. anything i do will ultimately be my own decision, and i have no one else to blame or thank for those choices but myself.

it's amazing how easily one can adapt to change.

living with nothing and no $... who would've ever thought??

i love this cover.

how does a gay man date in new york city if they're not really a fan of gay bars, am completely over meeting people online, and doesn't have too many gay friends or know people who have gay friends?

i don't know how to meet people.

i just witnessed a drive by shooting right outside my window... yes, an ACTUAL drive by shooting. and the answer to your next question is YES, people did get shot. (an update, 3 people had gunshot wounds).

damn it to hell, i think it might be time to start thinking about moving again. fuck fuck fuck.

i can't sleep.

too much thinking.

need something positive to focus on in life.

i finally have a new, WORKING phone.

my camera broke this past weekend (story of my life). i stupidly always throw all my electronics in my messenger bag, and my lcd screen cracked under the millions of things i have in there. here are the last of my photos that were left in my camera. i don't even remember when these were taken, but it was at a karaoke place in ktown. my friends and i brought in our own bottles of soju, and ordered one bottle and rotated one on the table as the other empty and full bottles were secretly stashed away. i think i drank too much because the night ended up with me passed out on the street on 32nd street.

 

i need to make some single, gay friends that i could hang out with.

i can not believe that it's sunday night and i have work tomorrow.

i had the past friday off for a summer friday, and since my brother-in-law is out of town for business, i decided to stay at my sister's place for a few days and keep her company. oh man, the two of us do not make a good combination. i slept at her place on thurs, fri, and sat night, and we did absolutely nothing but eat and watch tv for 3 days straight! and by nothing, i mean absolutely nothing. i realize this is how we spent many of our weekends in our childhood, watching tv and ordering chinese food. it kind of felt good to be able to do it again, it had been a while.

one highlight of the weekend was watching the opening ceremony of the olympics at her place... yeah, it was absolutely awesome.

you know i feel like i used to be pretty attached to my blackberry before it broke. i was obsessed with being online and having the ability to check my email at all times. i'd be online at every moment, checking the news, blogs, and other mundane stuff. after my blackberry broke in aspen, i was using a very old phone that my friend gave me and after that stopped working a month ago, i think i've learn to let go of having a usable cellphone.

a friend once told me that she always puts her phone on silent and checks it sporadically. i immediately questioned her and asked why on earth would she do that? what if people are trying to reach her or she misses an important call? she responded with, "i don't know... i guess i just don't want to be attached to it." that really got me thinking and made me realize that i too do not want to feel attached to my phone. i guess my point is, it's been a month since my substitute phone broke, and i definitely can't afford to buy a new one. but i don't even care, isn't that crazy? my sister offered to buy me an iphone, and we even went to the at&t store on astor and broadway to purchase one. as we're talking with the sales girl on necessary paperwork and stuff, i had an epiphany and told my sister that i didn't want it. she asked why and i just said, "...i just don't care.." i know that i eventually will get a new phone, but i guess it's not a priority in my life. and when i do, i sure as hell am sure that it won't be anything fancy, probably just something i can make calls and receive texts with.

i'm hoping that coming home and watching tv while i surf the web will fill my technological needs for awhile.

i accompanied my coworker shanette to 'wichcraft earlier today as she got ice cream after lunch, and as we were walking up 6th avenue on 42nd back to the office, i happened to notice lynn yaeger across the street. living in new york city, you see random celebs and people all the time and i've seen lynn countless times, sometimes on the subway or just walking around downtown.

anyhoo, i pointed her out to shanette and we watched as she stood there, waiting for the crosswalk to turn green so she can cross. just as i did, we watched as she PUT HER FINGER IN HER MOUTH TO PICK SOME FOOD OFF THE SIDE OF HER TEETH, AND THEN SHE PROCEEDED TO EAT WHAT WAS ON HER FINGER.

puahahah oh man that gave us a good laugh. question is, i wonder what she had for lunch?

why do i torture myself and watch the food network when i'm starving?

spending the first night in a new apartment is always a weird feeling. i keep glancing out my window and it's odd how all my surroundings seem so unfamiliar. i know that in a week or two, this place will feel like home but tonight is my first night and i feel like a stranger in someone else's house. DUMBO is a great neighborhood though. after two months of thinking and worrying about my next apartment and where i'm going to live, it feels so good to finally settle in and know that i won't have to think about moving for awhile (at least i hope not). i walked around the area today and there's so many great little shops and other things to do. the view of the east river is absolutely breathtaking at times and the river cafe and the brooklyn ice cream factory is a short walk away. i'm hoping to take advantage of the great view by going for a run tomorrow. the cobblestone streets might be a killer on my feet, but we'll see how it goes. after that, i've definitely got to go and find an air conditioner for my room. once i get that, i'll be all set.

i wanted to post up a candid shot of my sister and i that i recently stumbled upon. this was taken at momofuku ssam earlier this summer in june and i'm not sure why, but i really like this picture- it makes me smile. =)