demons are always trying to get at you.

i am definitely going to go see this kohei yoshiyuki exhibit at the yossi milo gallery here in nyc.

it looks--so, sexy.

damn, i cant sleep.

it is fucking RIDICULOUSLY hot out.

it's been a while since i came home this late.

i wanted to write out in detail about my day, but i'm too tired. i'll just lazily do a bullet point.

-went to the korean film festival during the day and saw the documentary about korean shaman (moodangs) titled "between." it very intense and interesting.
-had dinner w/ a friend at gama on st. marks
-got tea
-met up with other friends at some italian restaurant on 2nd ave and 7th street. had a seltzer water.
-went to urge and stayed there for what felt like hours. had more selter water.
-ended the night at trash on 10th between 2nd and 3rd and dance my fucking ass off while drinking selter water. i saw the artist 'young love' there, i love his fucking music. it's been a while since i danced that much, and SOBER! woah.

i came home completely soaked in sweat and just spent 30 mins scrubbing all the ddeh off my body.

good night all.

.

i want to crawl into a hole and stay there until my flesh rots away.

the new york korean film festival starts today. there's a few movies i want to see, but one in particular. i love the movie "200 lb beauty." i saw it in coex mall in korea and became an instant fan of kim ah-joong and the film.

anyhoo, it's playing this friday at cinema village on 12th street and i'm thinking of checking it out.

the new M.I.A. album will be available from itunes in 2 hours. i am so fucking god damn excited!!

i love 90's hip hop. it's so much better than any of the stuff that's out today.

when you compare albums that were released then to the ones that are out now, man the stuff that's out now doesn't even compare. from the lyrics, to the beats, to the overall sound, thing's were so much simpler and better back then.

the retail store that i've been working on and off at for about 3 years just recently opened a new store on the Upper East Side. i worked there today for the first time, and will be helping out again tomorrow, and then going back to the soho store on sunday.

cheers, good night.

ps- i went running around the reservoir in central park today before work and all i have to say is, it is so beautiful and peaceful up there. i miss nature.

i didn't go to the park today for a run. instead i went to the gym, and boy was i glad i went.

i have a 2nd interview on monday with a national magazine. i'd be working in the photo department, but making only $7.15 an hour, and it's only until december. hmm, we'll see how that goes.

i've been feeling so unmotivated the past week or so. i've come to realize that i'm a person who needs something to do. being busy with work is a thing i've come to appreciate in life. i can't wait until i find a new job and have a reason to get up in the mornings. these days, i've just been feeling blah. i work a few days a week in soho, but i'm getting so sick of the customers. i am not a people person. i haven't gone to the gym since last thursday, so i decided i would go to my local park today and go for a run. i live in queens, and am about a 10-15 minute walk away from kissena park. i usually never go to that park, i don't know, i've never liked it, but i figured some sun and sweat would do me some good. so i get there and just start jogging/walking around the reservoir, and get pretty bored fast. i decided to run on the outer and inner paths that go through the more wooded areas. after ten years of living here, i had never step foot on those paths, and i boy was i in for a shock today. the wooded paths were pretty empty compared to the area around the reservoir and playgrounds, and i didn't really expect to see anything interesting. i focused on my running with my ipod blasting, and then came up onto a field, and to my shock, i saw this guy sunbathing... completely nude. he was laying face down, and was this burly, muscled dude with tattoos all over his arms. i immediately did a double take and saw that he had the most perfect ass, big and round. i wasn't sure what to do next. all i could think was, "is this the gay section of the park?!" but this is KISSENA park in QUEENS, shit like that never happens here. i then saw him lift his head and look at me a few times, and i started to get nervous. we were the only 2 people in this area, did he think i was trolling for sex in the park and had come looking for guys? even though i would love to think that i would do something like that, i would never everrrr have the balls (no pun intended) to do anything public like that. i can't even mess around in cars out of paranoia, let alone mess around in public. anyway, after passing that guy, he was all i could think about it. i started thinking of ways on the trail that lead back that way so i could get another peek at him, but ultimately decided not to and just continued with my workout. it felt good to be sweating outside, and i'm thinking if i should go back tomorrow for another run. i doubt i will, but we'll see.

i need to find some fun things to do.

i'm starting to get into Yukio Mishima.

has anyone else read his books? there's something about Russian and Japanese authors that i've always felt a deep connection with.

anyhoo, i'm currently reading Mishima's, confessions of a mask, and i'm thoroughly enjoying it. some say that it's highly autobiographical, and after doing some research on mishima, i truly feel it is. and with that being said, it's clear that he was gay. it's interesting because as the "character" in the book recounts his childhood and some of the homosexual thoughts and feelings he had, it brought me back to my own experiences while growing up. i started to remember all the different emotions and thoughts i had completely forgotten about, and it made me wonder how i survived growing up.

i like his writing, it's simple and fluid, yet still manages to show the complexity of the inner dialogue that the character struggles with.

aside from mishima, there's nothing special going on in my life that is worth mentioning here.

blahh.

has anyone else noticed that the summer heat is making everyone in this city crazy as hell?