i miss you.

i'm pretty exhausted but i wanted to make sure i wrote an entry today.

tonight is my last night sleeping at my house. i'm going to sleep at the UES apartment for the first time tomorrow, and then come back to my house in Queens on Wednesday after work to move the rest of my stuff out of here.

i have to say that knowing that this is my last night in my house is a bit weird. i find myself feeling a bit nostalgic, and can't stop thinking about all the memories i'll have of this place, both good and bad. today i started doing some heavy duty cleaning and threw away some furniture and my tv! oh man, it's such a weird feeling to not have a tv in my room... everything feels so quiet and eerily empty. does anyone else know that feeling? when you're moving into a new place or moving out of an old place, and you have no tv and the house just feels so odd? yeah, that's what i'm feeling right now.

since i've always been comforted in my "throw away therapy," meaning whenever i'm in a bad mood i just throw stuff away, i didn't think i would have much stuff to move. in all honesty i dont, but i have a massive amount of books. it's crazy that i never realized the amount of books i really have. aside from that, i have some clothes and that's pretty much it. but i still sort of feel like i have too much stuff. it's good because i've come to realize that materialistic things don't really matter as much as they used to. in fact, aside from books and digital music, i don't really like having anything. just looking at all the boxes in my room now make me cringe, i can't even imagine how much stuff i'd have if i didn't do my "throw away therapy."

sighhhh.

it sucks that i have work tomorrow and that i can't enjoy my last night here. i'm completely exhausted and know i have to get up early so i guess that's it for now.

good bye home... thanks for the past ten years. now it's time to move on and make some new memories in different places.

everything in life is just so overrated. nothing excites me. i'm not trying to sound all suicidal or dramatic, but honestly nothing excites me anymore. i need some new hobbies.

i must admit that working for an epicurean magazine has its perks. i get to go to some awesome food events, and my knowledge of high quality cuisine is expanding with time.

tomorrow night, i'm going to attend SWEET. it's boasted as "new york's biggest desert festival," and there's supposed to be a great line-up of food network personalities and others giving cooking demonstrations and providing samples, woohoo.

but before SWEET, my boss is going to take me to newly opened Lunetta. i'm so excited to try this try this place, i am so ready for some good food. i've stopped myself from googling the place too much because i'm hoping to go in absolutely surprised.

anyhoo, just wanted to share a pic i took with my sister earlier tonight. went to dinner and a bar after (no, i did not drink) in koreatown.

i can't wait until it snows.

woah, thanksgiving is next week... that's madness!

being broke and almost homeless is really starting to stress me out.

i'm not going to write about how lonely i am anymore. well- i'm at least going to try not to.

let's focus on the all the good stuff in life, shall we? i'm happy at work, i truly feel blessed to be where i am. man, just a month and a half ago, i was jobless and without any direction in my life. while i'm still without direction, i do have a great job to keep me busy until i figure out exactly what it is i want to do.

this past weekend has been a nightmare. not sure what triggered it, but i fell into this deep, cavernous hole and i'm at my wits end.

i still feel like i'm crawling my way out- digging my nails in as deep as i can to get myself out of this place... i'm trying, i truly am.

i've been listening to this song non-stop all day, 룰라- 친구를 보내며(신정환 Theme).

룰라 (Roo'Ra) has always been my favorite korean singing group. i grew up listening to their music. their different songs and albums all bring me back to special moments in my life. they invoke in me memories of being a happy kid. i have no idea why i'm writing about 룰라.

life is a blur.

indifference is a bitch. lately, it feels like i haven't been doing a lot of things i should be.

i need to get out of this damn funk, this week has been a rough one.

maybe i'm just in need of a hot shower and shave? that always makes everything better.