since the seventh grade, i've always had terrible insomnia. there's something magical about the night time that beckoned me and wouldn't let me go to bed---like a force that i naturally gravitated towards and i had no control on stopping it.
i guess that's just a glamorized way of summing up all the night time fucking hell i've been going through since i was twelve. not being able to sleep when you desperately want to and need to makes life challenging sometimes. i can't count the number of days that i had to go without sleep because i wouldn't be able to fall asleep until 5 am, and i knew that if i went to sleep then, i would never wake up anytime before 11 am. tossing and turning in bed as you stare at the ceiling and trying not to get pissed off about the fucking fact that you've been attempting to go to sleep in your own bed for the past 3 hours can really irk you. i've tried sleeping pills, exercise, praying, counting, etc, and none of them ever worked. i went to a doctor and he told me to just relax when i'm trying to go to bed---anxiety is a bitch.
at this point in my life, i know how my body is when it comes to sleep and if i know i'm not going to be able to fall asleep until hours later, i'd rather just plant myself in front of the tv and fall asleep to it.
thank goodness my friends/new roommates have this huge hd flat screen tv---holy shit i'm in insomnia's paradise.
off i go. i hope nick at nite plays old episodes of roseanne, that's my favorite sitcom ever.
sorry to hear about your sleep problems. have you seen doctors about it?
ReplyDeleteyou could use a hug. :)
ReplyDeletecure to all anxiety.