Tae Yoon: Life from 2006-2021

i fucking hate it when bong water gets on my lips. nasty. does anyone still ever talk on the phone anymore? i use less than 50 minutes on my phone each month, it's pretty pathetic. shit i used to love talking on the phone as a teenager and young adult, especially with my insomnia. i would usually always be the one who fell asleep last while talking---i haven't done that with anyone in years. today on my way to work on the subway this girl sitting at my 10 o'clock took a photo or something of me on her iphone. i honestly have no idea why the hell she did that, but it was pretty clear what she was doing. then she got off at 72nd street with her whole foods grocery bags. i only first noticed her because i looked up from what i was reading and saw this girl just randomly staring at me, it looked like from curiosity. then i looked back down and notice in the corner of my eye that she was strategically holding her iphone at my direction. i looked up and pretended to not know what she was doing and then she left. why do i always wish i was a kid again sometimes? i'll listen to a song i used to listen to when i was younger in the mid-90's and i'll just wish that i was that old again, with the same problems, joys and life i had back then. but then i'll remember that i really hated almost everything about being a kid and growing up and i would not want to go through the same shit again. that adage of "if i only knew back then what i know now," omg my life would have been totally different. if i only knew things would get better and that as an adult i would have the opportunities to make my own bad choices and life fuck-ups, man i would've prepared myself better and made welcome signs for all the wrong decisions that came my way. oh fucking well. today at work this obviously pregnant woman came in and had two alcoholic drinks with her dinner. i know this because i'm the only bar person at the restaurant and she sat right in front of me the whole time. i didn't know that some pregnant woman leisurely drank, even with their future kid subletting some of her space down there, until i started working at this job. it doesn't surprise me as much as it used to but the lady today was the first i've ever seen to drink something else but a glass of wine. party on mama. speaking of mama', this sunday is mother's day and i'll be going to nj to visit my parents. the worse thing about going to nj is riding the annoying ass nj transit bus from port authority, that place is an absolute shit show. sometimes i close my eyes when i'm stoned and walking in the city and pretend that the streets look like how they used to look back in a time when beavis and butthead was a popular show. nothing beats walking around the city while i'm stoned and just blasting music in my headphones. everything is so simple when i do that, it's just music, my brain and manhattan---nothing else matters. i wonder how the back of my head looks to all those people i zoom by?