Tae Yoon: Life from 2006-2021

i'm currently alone at a "music bar" in hongdae.

the place is located in the basement of a building and it's super dark in here. the bar is pretty much lit by candles and the glow of laptop screens, and the smell of stale cigarette smoke lingers with every breath i take---but it's okay because their draft beer is cheap and served in glasses that are so ice-cold that the coaster sticks to the bottom edge like a small kid getting a haircut while sitting on a phonebook . there's classic rock n' roll from the fifties blasting on the speakers and obligatory posters of b.b. king and jazz books scattered throughout the place and the overall atmosphere is relaxed and low-key. i've been walking around for the past few hours or so, just continuing to explore all the small alleys and side streets of the neighborhood while looking for a relatively inexpensive place to grab some dinner. i'm not sure how nutritional a meal of draft beer and stale tortilla chips is, but i guess it will have to suffice.

i had an off-day last night while working at the bar, and today was just one of those days where i wanted to be alone with nothing but my thoughts, music and comfortable sneakers while wandering around seoul on foot with no agenda. i think i think too much and sometimes i wonder if all this solitude i feel really has anything to do with my surroundings. am i just destined to be always feel alone? but even if i am, i guess i'm okay with it. rather, i guess what i need to focus on is finding a way to feel fulfilled in life. i'm pretty happy here in seoul, though. who knows. do you know? yeah, me neither.

well, the bar has now switched to playing sappy (but excellent) korean ballads. i feel like i would love to partake in a good sob session to let out some steam, but unfortunately i'm usually incapable of producing anything beyond a tear or two.