man, i really REALLY need to start learning some thai.

i just noticed this, but is it me or does haruki murakami like to write about spaghetti in his work?

i'm so proud of you.

does anyone else have a problem with actually using their "good stuff?"

we all own at least one or two items that can be labelled as our "good stuff." it doesn't matter if it's that piece of clothing you only wear to special occasions or your favorite bowl that's used to eat one certain dish or the 5 year old couch still wrapped in its original plastic-wrap, these items have some sort of special monetary or sentimental value to us. we tend to use these items sparingly and try our best to give them long and productive lives.

i recently ran out of the facial lotion and since i'm on limited funds right now, i've chosen not to purchase another at the moment. i tried going without face lotion for a few days, but quickly learned that i'm not 18 anymore and what used to be inessential is now a daily necessity. afterwards, i started using these small sample size bottles of facial lotion that my sister gave me 2 years ago. i guess i always considered this my "good stuff" and chose to save it as i continued to purchase my preferred lotion whenever i ran out.

i was putting some on after my shower just now, and i thought, "why the fuck did i save this for 2 years?" i mean it works great and whatnot, but i lugged (okay yes i know they're tiny) these bottles to every damn apartment i lived in and country i travelled to for the past 2 years. i'm elated to finally put them out of their poor misery of being schlepped everywhere for no reason. i should've just used them a long time ago and moved on.

thanks, life!

sometimes, i really miss korea.

i'm currently staying at a friend's place and he has the kbsworld channel. most of the programming has english subtitles so i understand everything perfectly. man, watching these korean dramas just make me yearn to say, "여기 소주한아더요! (another bottle of soju please)."

as an avid news junky and someone who appreciates network news, i don't know why i was never exposed to al jazeera while in nyc.

since arriving in bangkok, i've discovered the greatness of al jazeera and can't believe i haven't had access to it until now. when i'd watch network news back in nyc, i can recall that al jazeera was used as a source on a lot of stories, but never knew their was an english language version or that its view was so unbiased. the channel's reporting is really good, and they have a global range of stories on a regular basis. however, naturally most of the channel has been dedicated to the middle east in the past weeks to cover what will always be noted as a historical turning point of the region. there's nothing more exciting than watching a news channel as "BREAKING NEWS" loudly screams at you on the bottom half of the tv screen. al jazeera is normally an arabic-language news network based in doha, quatar, and i definitely feel that it has the best coverage of what's been happening in tunisia, egypt, and now libya. also, they frequently have exclusive content, sources and experts on that none of the other news networks seem to give a shit about. thankfully they don't have any useless filler stories about celebrities or bullshit that are peppered in between their major headlines.

thank you to al jazeera for providing such a great service during the birthing phase of democracy and freedom in these particular middle east nations.

it's going to be a good day.

when i was younger, i had a big problem with using food to cope with my emotions. i used the microwave often during my childhood, but a lot of it was alone during the night. i remember that when the food was nearing complete, i'd always abruptly stop it a few seconds before so the loud, terrifying beeeep wouldn't go off and wake anyone up in the house to reveal my nighttime secret. i also sometimes prefer to just put the timer at a ridiculously lengthened time so that way i definitely won't have to worrying about hearing the beeeeep.

thank goodness i prefer to cook with ovens now, and would rather not eat microwaved food if i had a choice. however, those big girl issues are still there. i just reheated some food for dinner and am by myself at a friend's house, yet i just don't have it in me to let that beeeeep go off. the thought of hearing that noise alone is making me anxious.

i want to wish my sister a very happy birthday. even though we're on opposite sides of the world, i know that she can feel the great big hug that i'm sending her way.

i don't know if i can eloquently express how much i love my sister. she's one of the few people that can make my eyes water even when i just think about her. as siblings, we've gone through so much together and i cherish the fact that we've been able to help one another through it all.

there are a lot of moments from our childhood that i hold dear, but one in particular always comes to mind. this was when our family was living in anchorage, alaska, for a couple of years, and my sister and i had rooms that were right next to each other. as a kid, i used to move the furniture around in my room on a constant basis but during this period, my twin bed was against the wall that our rooms shared, and my sister's bed also happened to be against the same wall. one night, my dad took my sister and me to the movie theatre because she had to watch something for a school assignment. this particular night was the second and last time i ever went to watch a movie with my dad, and i can't believe it was in 1993. the three of us went to go watch Schindler's List, which to this very day is still my favorite movie of all time. Fireweed Theatre was near our house, and we headed over there after dinner. for anyone who's watched Schindler's List, you know that it's quite intense and around 3 hours long. by the time the movie finished, it was pretty late and dark outside. since it was a school night, we all went to bed after we got home but i remember i couldn't fall asleep. that movie completely changed my life, and i'm not sure if it was from the adrenaline or all the graphic images i had just seen, but all i could do was toss and turn in bed. now, i don't recall if it was me or my sister who did it first, but one of us gave a light tap on the wall that we shared. i remember feeling so happy and excited to know that i wasn't the only one who was still awake with insomnia, and throughout that night, we continued to lightly knock on the wall to show we were still awake, and to check if there'd be a response to see if the recipient was awake. we continued to do this for some time and am not sure when or how we stopped doing it, but all i vividly remember the first night it happened.

as kids, i don't recall if we ever discussed or mentioned our nightly knocking habits to each other, or anyone else for that matter, but it goes to show that the bond we both share is beyonds words. we don't even have to be in the same room together to feel one another's presence, and just because we have oceans between us doesn't mean we're any farther apart than when i was back in nyc. it's like we're kids again and back at our old anchorage house, and the thousands of miles currently separating us is the same as that thin wall we shared. i know she's right here with me. all i have to do is give a light tap or knock in my heart, and i can feel that she's still awake, too, and quietly knocking back at my heart.

i love you so much 영선누나. you're more than just a great sister, and i can't thank you enough for being who you are. i'm so proud of you and can't wait to see what the rest of our lives have in stored for us.

again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY and i hope you have the best day ever.

love,
your little brother :)

i don't own a lot of clothes because i hate owning shit, and for most of the stuff i do have, they're things i love and will wear until there's only enough thread to cover one testicle.

one of my favorite shirts i own is this black anna sui t-shirt. my best friend judy is a designer there. this shirt from 4 years ago is one of my most prized possessions. i especially love it because the girl in the illustration looks like my friend judy, so i call it "my judy-t." however, i'm sad to say that after years of wear, the t-shirt is slowly succumbing to the hands of time. i try not to wear it out too much anymore in order to elongate its life, but then i have days that call for it.

since i was so far away from all my friends back home in nyc for my bday, i decided to wear it out the other day. here i am at a buddhist temple, praying for good luck and fortune to start off 28 on the right path.

it's also NY fashion week this week, and i'm sad that i'll be missing this season's show. good luck judy, love you.

i've been using my ipod a lot less since i arrived in bangkok.

back home in nyc and in seoul as well, i'd usually listen to it whenever i was out walking or in the subway but since i've been in thailand, i find myself using it much less. one of the major reasons is i think it'd be somewhat foolish with bangkok traffic---not having the ability to be aware of your surroundings would be a huge handicap with the many cars, scooters, bikes and people passing by. another reason would be that sometimes no song can be better than what surrounds you at certain moments of life, and you'd better listen up because it might never happen again.

i'm sitting on my friend's porch right now, and just getting some air as i stare at the sun. things are still at the moment, but there's still an orchestra of something happening---the sounds of a light breeze and echoing clanks of metal pounding together at nearby construction sites and frustrated honks of far away cars and rustling palm trees as well as numerous dialects of birds chirping and the low hums of air conditioners steer themselves through the wind.

...i should get up and head out the door, but i don't want to move.

"i may be just another person to you, but you're the world to me. i am nothing without you."

i'm dying to say this to that special someone in my life right now... to the woman who owns my favorite street-food-cart, thank you.

HOLY FUCK. jay mcinerney + j.d. salinger = BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER.

J. D. Salinger’s Love and Squalor By JAY McINERNEY.

it's feb 12 and i'm now officially 28, happy birthday to me.

i'm sitting in my friend's apartment in bangkok, feeling completely content with life and where i am at this very moment. i was in such a different place a year ago, especially geographically, and feel like a lifetime of memories have happened since then. coming to thailand after korea was one of the best decisions i've ever made in my life, and i'm truly humbled by all that i've experienced here.

having the television turned on to al jazeera as we watch history being made in egypt is the best background noise i could ask for as i write this. murabak has finally resigned and left cairo, and it's such an honor to watch everyone in the country celebrate as i feel like i'm there with them (thanks to technology).

who knows where i'll be next year on this day. all i know is, this is a birthday i hope to and will never forget.

do women know how great it feels to shave your face everyday? i always feel like i've scraped off a layer of oil and dead skin, leaving me with soft, clean skin.

the weather is so fucking gorgeous today. my original plans for tonight got cancelled, so i'm currently free to roam anywhere i please for the night---i think i might spoil myself with a massage.

i'm currently crashing at a friend's apartment in bangkok (thanks mogua), and drunkenly eating some noodles as i watch al jazeera. it's crazy that at this moment, history is being made as the world awaits what could be mubarak's final speech of his presidency. it's 40 minutes behind schedule, and hundreds of thousands of protesters are in tahrir square expecting to hear the president announce is resignation. i've been obsessively watching al jazeera the past few weeks and get goosebumps every time i turn on the television. egypt, man, it's just so surreal.

is anyone who is HTML literate able to help me make some very minor changes to my layout? if you're in thailand i can compensate you with some street food and a cold beer. if you're somewhere else, how about a virtual hug?

i'm really enjoying my time in thailand, thanks to the fact that i've been fortunate to make some good friends here.

everyday of my life seems like something out of a story filled with lively plots, and i just happen to be a character who's existence can only be found in this text. i don't live anywhere beyond these day-to-day scenarios, and i think i'm okay with that. each of my days are comprised with extraordinary happenings and memories that i want to remember for the rest of my life. i have moments where i take a minute to myself and think, "remember this. remember this." sometimes i also question, "who am i to be able to live a life where i'm blessed to have such wonderful people around me?" sure, there are lots of things in life i lack like money and what not, but i still consider myself to be one of the most luckiest guys in the world.

i could go on and on and effusively write forever about how fortunate i feel and how humbled i am by life on a daily basis, but i'll leave it at this.

for now, i'll just share some photos from my recent trip to laos. i went a few weeks ago for a visa run, and my excursion was spectacular. i chose laos because it was the most affordable choice to exit and reenter thailand, and i definitely recommend the country to anyone who is considering laos as a possible holiday destination.

also, on a side note, i think my 3 best friends from nyc might come to bangkok in april to visit me. i truly am blessed to have such wonderful people in my life...