He's glamorized in movies, these sorts of protagonists in books are often looked at as heros, and television as well sometimes helps these rustic characters come to life as nonconformist recluses. However, what people might not consider is---what about all their quiet moments of loneliness that add up to a substantial amount of interaction-withdrawal?
When every meal is practically eaten in companionless tedium? When the urge to just shoot-the-shit with somebody comes, but there's not a single person to beckon? When the only person that can help with a small favor is yourself? When, what should be, the simple interactions of daily life are thwarted by a language barrier? When something exciting or notable has happened, but there's not a single person that it can be shared with? When everyone around seems to be laughing and enjoying other people's company, and the only thought that comes to mind is get me the fuck out of here? When the people that could provide the best support are literally thousands of miles away? When you're actually able to meet up with someone after a long while, but then you realize that you're only meeting them out of boredom and that most people don't know how to fucking listen anymore because they're too busy talking? When an incessant stream of thoughts fill the void left by the vacancy of others? When insomnia has taken over once again and lying next to a warm body would be the best medicine? When the only function of a cellular phone becomes using it for its alarm? When sitting in a busy area and staring out a window for hours becomes a norm? When the aftereffects of laughing until keeling over is too hard to recall? When everyone seems to have moved on with their lives to find something of their own, and you're trying to find your own happiness within yourself?
Spending most of my time alone for the past two years since I left NYC has changed me tremendously---and with anything negative, there have also been many positive life-lessons as well.
I was used to doing some things solo back in NYC, but all of that has entered into an entirely-new stratosphere since arriving in a new continent... and when I think about it, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Cheers to solitude!
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