An air-conditionerless bus ride and lunch on Sukhumvit.

John Cage's 4'33 sure is a trip.

While there's nothing terribly wrong with grabbing a drink somewhere alone, I think it says something about your life and the people in it if there isn't a single person to be able to call and just casually have a beer with.

I just arrived at Khaosan Road to run a weekly errand here. I don't drink that often anymore, but the evening weather and sky are so beautiful tonight and it's been awhile since I touched alcohol, so I'm at a quiet bar having a beer by myself.

Cheers to you, Thailand.

I am so happy to not have to deal with Halloween in Thailand.

"The choice is clear. The Romney-Ryan ticket represents a constricted and backward-looking vision of America: privatization of the public good. In contrast, the sort of public investment championed by Obama---and exemplified by both the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act and the Affordable Care Act---takes to heart the old civil-rights motto "Lifting as we climb." That effort cannot, by itself, reverse the rise of inequality that has been under way for at least three decades. But we've already seen the future that Romney represents, and it doesn't work.

The reelection of Barack Obama is a matter of great urgency. Not only are we in broad agreement with his policy directions; we also see in him what is absent in Mitt Romney---a first-rate political temperament and a deep sense of fairness and integrity. A two-term Obama Administration will leave an enduringly positive imprint on political life. It will bolster the ideal of good governance and a social vision that tempers individualism with a concern for community. Every Presidential election involves a contest over the idea of America. Obama's America---one that progresses, however falteringly, toward social justice, tolerance, and equality---represents the future that this country deserves."

From The Talk of the Town section of the October 29 & November 5, 2012 double-issue of The New Yorker.

Simplicity is always good.

And I love the artwork, too, for this story from November, 2005. 

(I thoroughly enjoyed this edition of fiction and it took it upon myself to produce these images to post on my blog with my digital subscription to The New Yorker. All rights are reserved by The New Yorker and will be removed upon request).

"And what it all comes down to, my friends, yeah
Is that everything is just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab."

From the song Hand in My Pocket by Alanis Morissette.

"See this? This is what I was trying to prevent; the reason I tell my friends not to look back... You have to walk away from the past in slow motion as it explodes behind you like a John Woo movie."
                         
Said by character, Chloe, in the sitcom, Don't Trust the B**** in Apartment 23. Season 2, Episode 1.

It would be nice to stop floating through life.

Nothing feels like it's mine. There isn't anything to call my own.

The weather is so beautiful today here in Bangkok.

I'm such a loser.

"Neal: So what's your deal? You, like, work on your novel at night or something?
Sophia: Pretty much... actually I sit at my computer for, like five minutes and come up with nothing. And then play Angry Birds on my phone."

From the new scripted drama on MTV called Underemployed. Pilot episode.

I love my studio apartment here in Bangkok.

Its location is within the heart of the city, and walking to Central World is just a short distance away. I have a small balcony that faces Petchaburi and Wireless Road so it's nice to watch all the busy traffic that is pretty much there all day and night. I'm within close reach of both the BTS and MRT, and for the BTS skytrain, passing by the British and Swiss Embassies are a part of the walk home from my stop. Sukhumvit can be reached by foot within ten minutes from my place to have a coffee at my skytrain stop, Phleon Chit. And in addition to having a Dean & Deluca at it, there's also an Apple store, 7-11, shabu-shabu restaurant and other types of businesses. The motorcycle-taxi guys on my soi can go basically anywhere since we're already downtown, so taking one to Asok or Pra Ram 9 isn't that expensive. The layout of my place is pretty small, but it's simple and perfectly cozy for just one person. All four pieces of furniture---bed, clothes-dresser, fridge, and armoire---were provided by my building, and I have to pay a small amount extra each month for my small refrigerator because it's optional. The only thing in here I myself purchased was a cheap stool so I could have something to sit on while I use the clothes-dresser as a desk for my laptop. My bathroom is bare and spacious, and opening my balcony door and window at the same time usually lets in a nice breeze if the weather isn't too hot. I'm grateful that my neighbor is respectful and not loud, because there are some assholes on my floor that are insanely noisy. My apartment is also located on the corner of the top floor of my building, so it's great not to be surrounded by neighbors on all sides. However, the one thing I do wish I had at my place is a kitchen because I really miss cooking for myself and even being able to prepare simple things. But then I realized that it's much better that I don't have a kitchen because its enabled me to make Thai street food a part of my everyday life. 

"You gonna have another drink or you just gonna babysit?
On to the next one, somebody call the waitress."

From the song On to the Next One by Jay-Z.

Being in crowds of people make me really anxious, so while I love music, I've only been to one concert in my entire life.

I'm currently blasting Jay-Z's new Live in Brooklyn album, and it makes me want to get over my agoraphobia so I can finally get to one of his concerts.

"Entering my thirties, I was frankly surprised I still wasn't free of food angst. It's exhausting."

From the article, Walking On Sunshine by Arianne Cohen, in the November 2012 issue of American ELLE.

Here are some more pictures of what I see throughout my days here in Bangkok.

You know now how growing up in America, as children some of us knew of this almost cartoonish stereotypical image of cats eating a whole fish and then subsequently picking at its fishbones?

Well, while I have never in my life seen cats in America do this, I can attest that for the street cats of Bangkok, this is definitely a norm.

"We all had our reasons to be there.
We all had a thing or two to learn.
We all needed something to cling to,
So we did."

From the song Forgiven by Alanis Morissette.

Every week, I always check what television episodes are available on iTunes to download for free.

This week they have a special edition episode of the classic show, Reading Rainbow, which includes both the series' first episode from 1983, and the last episode from 2006.

I can recall this show from when I was a kid, so watching it again as an adult brought back so many memories. From the show's awesome theme song (which seemed a lot more louder and energetic to me as a kid), to the short and memorable jingle that plays between each book recommendation from young readers, all of Reading Rainbow's great details came flooding back to me.

Having the opportunity to look at things more from an adult's perspective, Reading Rainbow was a truly extraordinary show. To have a program so dedicated to books with the mission of getting young children to read more is really inspiring. The coolest part of each episode is when the show takes an illustrated children's book and wonderfully brings it to life in a very simple yet effective way. With a child narrating the story, the program would enhance a book's reading experience by adding sound effects and zooming in and out and focusing on different parts of the book's illustrations throughout the segment. I never really thought about this great interpretation of books as a kid, but I appreciate it so much more as an adult.

Watching the series' first episode from 1983, I found a lot of the content to just be really fun and amusing---and one segment in particular had me busting out laughing like I haven't in a very long time. There is a rap-montage in the episode that has recommendations for young children on fun projects that don't cost any money. Some of the activities they suggested were so out of the norm and borderline ridiculous, but absolutely fun and goodhearted nonetheless. One of my favorites was "Bleach-Bottle Birdhouse," where one takes an old empty bottle of what appears to look like Clorox Bleach, and cuts and decorates it to make it into a birdhouse. But my ultimate favorite activity they proposed was "Newspaper Crumple Race," and this is when you all line up next to one another, and take a newspaper in only one hand and start crumpling it to see who manages to make into into the smallest lump first. I'm not sure who or how "Newspaper Crumple Race" came to exist, but that is some funny ass creative shit---kudos to the mastermind behind that.

Living off a cycle of hope & disappointment is so draining.

Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Hope.

"Vincent taught him how to write a minimum number of words each day. 'I came up with this years ago,' she said. '(B+C-I-P)n---it means butt, plus chair, minus Internet and phone, times the number of words you can write without breaking a sweat.' Vincent's number is three hundred and fifty: 'If I do that twice a day, it's seven hundred words,' she said, which by the end of a work week, adds up to 'two chapters or two feature articles.' It's crucial to set a goal that doesn't intimidate you, 'because as writers we'll do anything---organize the closet, clean the garage---to avoid writing.'" 

From the article, The Lives of Saints by Ariel Levy, in the October 15, 2012 issue of The New Yorker.

Here are some more pictures of Bangkok.

And just to clarify, no I did not patronize that massage parlor. 

Oh, Thailand...

Meeting a hopeful love interest on a NYC subway like this is my ultimate fantasy...

And by looking at the subway seats in Adrian Tomine's illustration, I guess I should ride the F and R trains (or other similar lines with the orange/yellow seating) more often when I do eventually return back to NYC.

(Illustration taken from Drawn and Quarterly and copyright of Adrian Tomine, 2012) 

"Do you want to get loaded, or something?"

Said by the character, Mavis Gary, in the film Young Adult.

It would be great if a friend would call me every now and then to ask that.

Is it too much to ask for some sincerity?

"I want a bit part in your life,
a walk-on would be fine.
I just want a bit part in your life..."

From the song Bit Part by the Lemonheads.

I'm drinking alone at a bar and there isn't a single other customer in here.

It's rainy out and I've been walking around the city for the past few hours to let  off some steam.

The BTS stops running in less than an hour---we'll see if I make it or end up walking home.

"Mama: It's dangerous, son.
Walter: What's dangerous?
Mama: When a man goes outside his home to look for peace."

From the play, A Raisin in the Sun, by Lorraine Hansberry. Page 47.

It's hard to believe that the short-lived series, Strangers with Candy, ended more than a decade ago. (Fuck, how is that possible??).

I completely forgot that I purchased all three seasons on iTunes many many years back, so luckily, I've been able to download all the episodes again to watch them on repeat. 

Season 2 is by far my favorite, and here are just a few of the many AMAZING hairstyles of Jerri Blank from that season. 

Seriously, kudos to the show's hair and make-up team for making her look so fucking ugly but with a side of fun.

(Images were created by producing screen-caps with my iPad. All rights are reserved by Comedy Central and will be removed upon request).

"We think you're a joke,
Shove your hope where it don't shine."

From the song Shove It by Santogold.

"...yeah, and then I told her that I thought the church was okay. And that I could maybe even see myself attending services twice a month or something."

Said by my mom in our phone call an hour ago.

My mom is not very religious, so I laughed so hard today when she said this. I couldn't imagine my mom jumping into a religion in any other way haha.

I'm going to be thirty next year and I can already feel some differences in my body---which I don't think is the worst thing to ever happen---and a part of those changes is how my body reacts to alcohol.

There are some days-after when I'm completely fine and feel like my old self, but then there are others where I just can't function at all. I guess the amount of alcohol devoured should be considered too, but regardless, the way it makes me feel has definitely changed. However, the fact that I don't really have any friends or drinking buddies to just call up and grab a beer with also comes into hand in regards to my going out much less. I used to just do my drinking/self-medicating alone at home like a normal person, but even that's something I rarely do anymore. Grabbing a drink alone at any bar in Bangkok is just pointless (unless I'm just in the mood to get really wasted) because none of the bartenders talk with you, and starting an interesting conversation with someone who is normally not even used to engaging with strangers in a bar like that is definitely not happening, or nor would I even want it to most times. Sometimes if I get drunk by myself somewhere and don't have anyone to talk to (which has a 100% rate so far), I just go stuff my face instead. Thai street food tastes even better when you're wasted, but then when you end up making multiple food stops by yourself, you know you're treading on thin ice. And, drunkenly over-eating would not be the only thing I would sometimes end up regretting the next morning.

So for whatever factor, I currently drink maybe once in two weeks or if there is someone in from out of town.

But tonight, I have this strong urge to just go out and get wasted. However, I'm already home and feels like a bit of a hassle to get ready to go out alone with no desired destination.

Maybe I'll just order a pizza instead.