Thursday, January 31, 2013

Close laptop. Try to fall asleep. Stare into the dark ceiling. Overwhelmed by my thoughts. Anxiety. Frustrated that I can't fall asleep. Frustrated about a lot of other stuff. Turn on light. Open book. Distracted. Slam book shut. Turn off light. Try to fall asleep. Stare into the dark ceiling. Overwhelmed by my thoughts. Turn on iPad. Attempt to read. Distracted. Turn off iPad. Try to fall asleep. Stare into the dark ceiling. Overwhelmed by my thoughts. Open laptop. Check email and news. Update Blogspot. Peruse useless sites. Tell myself I'm wasting time and that I should try to fall asleep. Irritated. Check email again. More news. Close laptop. Try to fall asleep. Stare into the dark ceiling. Drowning in my thoughts and in desperate need of a distraction. Open laptop. Start new document in Microsoft Word. Stare at blinking cursor for a new short story idea. Check email. Refresh. Back to new short story. Type something, then delete. Type something, then delete. Distracted. Frustration. Close new short story document without saving. Open an already started short story that needs to be finished. Re-read. Stare at the blinking cursor. Type something, then delete. Type something, then delete. Assure myself I'll finish the short story soon before I close up the document. Open another incomplete short story that I should finally finish. Re-read. Stare at the blinking cursor. Type something, then delete. Type something, then delete. Assure myself I'll finish this short story soon before closing the document. Close laptop. Try to fall asleep. Stare into the dark ceiling. Overwhelmed by my thoughts. Open laptop. Check email and news. Refresh. Blogspot. Tell myself that I'm wasting time and that I should try to fall asleep. Close laptop. Repeat obsessively for hours in some variation until finally falling asleep.

1 comment: