Warm weather.

"In a long-sought victory for the gay rights movement, the Supreme Court ruled by a 5-to-4 vote on Friday that the Constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage." 

From the June 26, 2015, New York Times article, Supreme Court Ruling Makes Same-Sex Marriage a Right Nationwide. Written by Adam Liptak.

Let's celebrate!

It's humbling to think about all the progress that's been achieved for LGBT rights within my lifetime. I'm hoping that the generation I belong to will be the last to grow up in America thinking being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender is something wrong or shameful. No one deserves to ever feel less than when they are simply being their true self. When that happens, its negative impact seeps into so many different parts of life with results that sometimes requires a lot of work to heal.

Thinking about this being the start of a new societal norm, it's exciting how civilization will continue to grow and evolve into something that might be unfathomable to us living right now. But I am so humbled to be who I am through these current times, because everything that is going on really does mean so much. Reminiscing back to when I was a kid, it never crossed my mind that things would actually change because that just seemed like how life worked.

It's freeing to know that who I am is now legally deemed as equal to the majority of society. Thank you to all the people who worked so hard to make this happen. I often remember life in stages of a before and after, and this is definitely a beginning to something new.

My thoughts are not reality.

Reminding myself that really helps with anxiety, especially at night when I'm trying to fall asleep.

Close eyes. Stop overthinking. Chill out. Drift off. Fall asleep. Goodbye.

Loosen up!

Lessons. They come in a million ways and forms. They can be intimidating at times, and often hard to recognize until moments, or even years, later when the reason why they happened is finally understood.

I feel like I've experienced two big lessons in the past week that happened because of similar reasons. Thinking about what the third similar lesson could potentially be is sort of scary, so I definitely want to try and not let anything like that happen.

But then as my roommate said, I should "live a little."

Balance is what I need. Yes, balance.

"Is that you do it to yourself,
Just you and no one else,
You do it to yourself."

From the song Just by Radiohead.

It's so nice to be home.

My work trip to Florida over the past few days was great.

Being in the tropical weather really reminded me of Thailand, and it was nice to feel that sticky heat with palm trees in the background. On the first night there, even passing rainstorms felt refreshing. Sprinting alone back to my room at 3am during a heavy downpour actually had me laughing because it had been years since that happened, invoking memories and emotions buried far back in my brain.

Every night after my bosses, coworkers, and I returned from eating dinner and late-night barhopping, we would all go back to our rooms to quickly change before meeting again at the hotel's pool and jacuzzi. Ending each night like that was a blast, especially when I'd be floating alone in the large pool just staring at the sky. I'd drown out the entire world with my ears underwater, allowing me to give my undivided attention skyward. Looking at the stars with grey silhouettes of palm trees hovering above me had me completely absorbed in where I was at that very moment. And in those exact points in time, that's when I felt particularly transported and like I was back in Bangkok because a good friend of mine used to have a pool in his apartment complex with a similar view. It was at this friend's house where I discovered my love of doing the same thing to clear my head---going swimming alone at night, feeling weightless and completely free of any cares in the world as I gazed up.

I guess I don't experience the feeling of getting completely lost and engrossed in something very often, and that's why being able to spend time at night in a pool where I'm by myself makes me really happy. That's when I'm not preoccupied by anything or feeling distracted and consumed by something I was worrying about earlier, which is how I usually feel all the god damn time. I can just be there in the water, drifting both physically and mentally without having to overthink anything. I'm just present in the moment, which sounds simple in theory but not really easily achievable.

Overall, it was a great trip where I got to spend quality time with the people at my workplace while learning more about how I can be better at my job. But I do have to say that those nighttime moments in the pool also helped me in a way that nothing else could have, because they made me remember what mental clarity felt like.

Guarded.

No one is happy all the time.

No one is anything all the time. 

"I made the right decision to learn about the city by walking around it. Walking made me think more and focus on the world around me. Moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other, reminded me of reading a book."

From the book I'll Be Right There by Kyung-Sook Shin. Page 71.

June is looking to be a good month.

While it was rainy, cold, and miserable today on the 1st, it still hasn't dampened my excitement for the next 30 days. The weather has been really summer-like the past few weeks, so I'm sure it'll be hot again in no time.

I'm going to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, next week and it's exciting because it'll be my first business trip with my current work place. It's going to be nice to get away from New York for a bit to spend time with my bosses and colleagues outside of the office. It'll be my first time going to Florida, let alone to a tiki convention. The week after Fort Lauderdale, I'll be going to Aspen, Colorado, for the best American culinary event of the year. This trip will be a bit sentimental because it's for the food magazine I used to work for, and at an annual event where I once helped plan and produce. The event has just continued to grow tremendously since I worked it years ago, which makes me all the more look forward to seeing everything in a few weeks.

My friends Jenn and Daniel will also be coming to visit in June, on top of some other guests. But I'm especially excited to see them because they're the friends I used to live with in Los Angeles, who so kindly allowed me into their lives out there and helped me out so much. I haven't been back together with them in New York since we were all roommates in the Upper West Side before I left for Asia, so it's going to be awesome to see them here. They've also had a beautiful baby son since we've last seen each other and there's much to catch up on.

I'd really like to just stay mellow and have a good time this month. Traveling and seeing old faces will be a great way to start off the season.

It's nice when a new month starts on a Monday.

It gives me hope in making the changes I want for a fresh start on things.

It's a new month. It's a new week. It's a new beginning with better choices.