Tae Yoon: Life from 2006-2021

we all have our own paths, aka our own story.

"your profession is X and you hang out with X and you've been with X for X amount of years and the two of you met in this X way and you went to X school and do X stuff for fun and your family is X and your sibling does X and X years ago X happened to them and so on." that's your path/story for now and while it can change in so many ways within a moment's notice, as of now that's what it is and that's how people define your story.

i think when it comes to relationships, my path/story has always been the same: i think i want commitment but i haven't met anyone as of now where i've wanted to pursue anything serious, or at least i haven't met anyone where those feelings were mutual. my story is "i'm the chronically single guy, even though i am earnestly seeking someone to share and enjoy my life with." that can change on any given day, but it could also not.

i'm sort of not in a clear state of mind to write but my point is, i don't think i'm meant to be in a relationship. you know that person you describe as "oh he/she is always single and always has been..." that's me at this point in my life and i'm not sure if this path/story of mine will ever change. i'm not upset about it or anything because it's mostly me and i've had opportunities to be in relationships but it's just never felt like the right situation. i don't like being in anything where i'm not willing to give 100% and my whole heart and don't like to waste neither my time nor anyone else's for that matter.

i date pretty often and meets lots of people but meeting someone where i can foresee the two of us being together for a long time, that just rarely happens for me. and when i do meet someone where i think that's possible, those feelings fade soon after and i don't always know why. up until now i've thought of it as "well i just haven't met the right person yet and when i do it'll be great." but it's been 27 years now and i don't know if that person is ever even going to come. it could also be, maybe i'm just not a relationship person and i'm just learning to really accept it now.

i guess this is my path/story and role within society. it's not such a bad thing because there will always be people with my same story that exists in everywhere at any point in time, i fill that quota.