Tae Yoon: Life from 2006-2021

i want to wish my sister a very happy birthday. even though we're on opposite sides of the world, i know that she can feel the great big hug that i'm sending her way.

i don't know if i can eloquently express how much i love my sister. she's one of the few people that can make my eyes water even when i just think about her. as siblings, we've gone through so much together and i cherish the fact that we've been able to help one another through it all.

there are a lot of moments from our childhood that i hold dear, but one in particular always comes to mind. this was when our family was living in anchorage, alaska, for a couple of years, and my sister and i had rooms that were right next to each other. as a kid, i used to move the furniture around in my room on a constant basis but during this period, my twin bed was against the wall that our rooms shared, and my sister's bed also happened to be against the same wall. one night, my dad took my sister and me to the movie theatre because she had to watch something for a school assignment. this particular night was the second and last time i ever went to watch a movie with my dad, and i can't believe it was in 1993. the three of us went to go watch Schindler's List, which to this very day is still my favorite movie of all time. Fireweed Theatre was near our house, and we headed over there after dinner. for anyone who's watched Schindler's List, you know that it's quite intense and around 3 hours long. by the time the movie finished, it was pretty late and dark outside. since it was a school night, we all went to bed after we got home but i remember i couldn't fall asleep. that movie completely changed my life, and i'm not sure if it was from the adrenaline or all the graphic images i had just seen, but all i could do was toss and turn in bed. now, i don't recall if it was me or my sister who did it first, but one of us gave a light tap on the wall that we shared. i remember feeling so happy and excited to know that i wasn't the only one who was still awake with insomnia, and throughout that night, we continued to lightly knock on the wall to show we were still awake, and to check if there'd be a response to see if the recipient was awake. we continued to do this for some time and am not sure when or how we stopped doing it, but all i vividly remember the first night it happened.

as kids, i don't recall if we ever discussed or mentioned our nightly knocking habits to each other, or anyone else for that matter, but it goes to show that the bond we both share is beyonds words. we don't even have to be in the same room together to feel one another's presence, and just because we have oceans between us doesn't mean we're any farther apart than when i was back in nyc. it's like we're kids again and back at our old anchorage house, and the thousands of miles currently separating us is the same as that thin wall we shared. i know she's right here with me. all i have to do is give a light tap or knock in my heart, and i can feel that she's still awake, too, and quietly knocking back at my heart.

i love you so much 영선누나. you're more than just a great sister, and i can't thank you enough for being who you are. i'm so proud of you and can't wait to see what the rest of our lives have in stored for us.

again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY and i hope you have the best day ever.

love,
your little brother :)