Saturday, May 06, 2006

blah17

it hit me like a city bus out of nowhere. sitting in the passenger seat of my friend's car with the window half open, i could feel the early summer breeze whipping by my forehead and hair, and it hit me. i wanted to cry and crawl into fetus position and just dissappear. it's been awhile since i've felt like this because i've been so busy with work and school, and i guess today was the first time in awhile since i've had a moment to think clearly.

i feel so unhappy. everything i do in life seems pointless. the work i'm doing for my channel is something that most people would find fulfilling, but i don't. it leaves me nothing but stressed out, and i wish that i could live on a deserted island with nothing but meager food and the greatest books of all time. while my body would be malnurished, my heart and would be fed constantly, leaving me always fulfilled with reading about the lives and stories of the greatest people of all time.

i have too many expectations with my life, and sometimes i think that it's not all that it's cracked up to be.

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