Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night from such vivid and emotional dreams where I don't know what to do with myself. I just lie there in bed, not sure about anything.

"Ain't my fault that I'm out here getting loose.
Gotta blame it on the Goose.
Gotta blame it on my juice, baby."

From the song Juice by Lizzo.

I’d like to smell this tray of truffles from dinner at Atomix all day, everyday. 

I want to take you with me... let’s go together.

Dear Memes,
you make life seem,
so agleam,
like a dream,
bringing smiles and laughter to the extreme,
because so much of each day is a fight upstream,
where struggles demean,
but your joy tastes as delicious as ice cream.

Whenever I interact with someone else who has adult braces like myself, I'll usually try to make small talk with them. I'll casually just ask a simple question about how they like having them or how much longer until they're done with it.

I went to Herald Square today to run an errand and buy something. And while I was being rung up, I noticed that the nice young lady behind the counter had braces so I sparked a conversation about them. She was super friendly, and I also saw that she was working the register with her left hand while pressing into her right jaw with a few fingers on her other hand. She then began to tell me about how she has to go in for an emergency check-up with her orthodontist because some of her brackets broke and the wiring on her braces were messed up. When I asked about what happened, she told me just had just gotten punched in the face the other day. I stood there a bit stunned and immediately asked, "You got punched?! How? Why?" "I was just walking down the street and this girl punched me. I live in the Bronx," she replied. She didn't seem angry or upset, but was more telling me in a matter-of-fact way. I couldn't believe this random act of violence that happened to her, and felt terrible about it. "I'm in pain though, and that's why I'm pressing into my jaw like this right now," she added. I again expressed my sympathy and she smiled and said she'll totally be fine. Even though this had happened to her, she was still at work with a great attitude, and providing professional customer service. I appreciated it so much that for the first time ever, I went to the website listed on the receipt to take one of those special surveys about my shopping experience.

To the girl that helped me today, I wish you all the best.

Validation.

Preparation.

The local news on television reporting on the weather is seriously always so dramatic.

“If you are reading this, and you’re a writer, and you, like me, are gripped with despair, when you think you might stop: Speak to your dead. Write for your dead. Tell them a story. What are you doing with this life? Let them hold you accountable. Let them make you bolder or more modest or louder or more loving, whatever it is, but ask them in, listen, and then write.”

From the book How to Write an Autobiographical Novel by Alexander Chee. Page 270.

Is this what people do?

Oh, this is what people do.

"To truly know someone is to be fully aware of their inner lives, the people whose lives made their lives possible, and the context through which they have survived. There's much we don't know about each other."

From the book No Ashes in the Fire by Darnell L. Moore. E-book version page 35.

"If you believe in yourself enough,
and know what you want,
you're gonna make it happen."

From the song Make It Happen by Mariah Carey.

The past few weeks or so.

"엄마, 아빠, 사랑해!"

Said by Sandra Oh in her Golden Globes acceptance speech for the 2019 best Actress in a Drama TV Series award.

Hearing this expressed by a winner at a major American award show is something I've fantasized about my entire life... wow, what a moment.

Congratulations to Sandra Oh on your win. Keep doing your thing and making us proud.

"Dancing,
and prancing.
Grooving,
keep on moving.
Flying,
stop your crying.
Choosing,
while you're cruising.

Music is the answer,
to your problems.
Keep on moving,
then you can solve them."

From the song Music is the Answer by Danny Tenaglia ft Celeda.

Connecting with nature in NYC means going into a pet store and making eye contact with lizards, birds, and guppies.

Time heals all pasta binges.

Sometimes, a stranger on the bus or subway can seem so normal until you learn that they’re the type of asshole who puts their shopping bags on the seat next to them as they avoid eye contact with the world by staring down into their phone. These people are the worst.

It's so weird how University Place right below 14th Street changed the direction of its traffic all of a sudden. The street used to be a one-way block that went from south to north, but now it goes in the opposite way. I was crossing it just now and got so confused.

The only thing I'm truly nosey about is what restaurant you ate at.

U.G.L.Y. = Unbothered Gay Living, Yes!

A way.
Away.
Awake.

Too much free time to look back in life hurts my neck.

I'm only staring straight forward from now on.

I have these odd days where my shoelaces inexplicably come undone constantly.

Happy New Year!

I stayed in last night and drank at home, and was pretty much out cold in bed by 11pm. I think it's the second year in a row where I've done that.

2019 is the year of the pig, which is the animal of my birth year of 1983. Not only does the year of the pig come around once every 12 years, but 2019's is apparently extra special and prosperous because it's the year of the golden pig, which only happens once every 60 years.

I'm looking forward to using the luck from that in addition to some hard work to accomplish some great things.