Over the past week on two different occasions, I randomly recognized people I know (even with their masks on) while walking down a subway platform and a Brooklyn street.

But because of COVID-19, I of course did not say anything and kept walking on.

It's amazing how helpful memes can be. I've had plenty of nights this year when I'm lying in bed super late and just laughing my ass off from them. And I mean like the genuinely cracking up, laugh-so-hard-you-can't-breath laughing. The deep type where clutching your stomach to hold on for dear life is the only thing you can do. It's like you're completely free for a moment and filled with this intense joy. Holy shit, what a good time. The feeling has been on mind a lot the past few months. With it, my mind keeps going back to this early memory from high school. It must've been during my sophomore year, but I'm standing with a group of friends in front of the Flushing Main Street Public Library (which was pretty new at the time). I think we had all just eaten together somewhere nearby in Main Street and probably hung out at some cafe for a bit, and we were there to wait for the Q17 so one of my friends could take it. I only remember my friend Natalia being there, because out of all of us, she was laughing the hardest. I don't remember what we were talking about or why, but I was trying to be funny and had everyone doubled over, and that in turn made me laugh harder. We had all started laughing back while eating, and by the time we were at the bus stop, we were laughing so hard that we could barely stand. The sound of Natalia laughing especially made me happy, and this epiphany that someone could think I was funny while being myself, well, I still remember that. Knowing I was gay at that age and desperately not trying to stick out had me normally holding back a lot of who I was. And it was only while immersed in this circle (all-girls, and I am still friends with) did I feel allowed to be silly, therefore feel seen. Don't get me wrong, I grew up with two older sisters and usually had them laughing a lot about dumb shit too. But this was different, because I was still getting to know these friends, and usually stayed quiet as a form of avoiding rejection. It's funny how laughter can bring back the weirdest memories.

The past few weeks or so.

The past few weeks or so.

I had a perfect train day today. Well, at least half of one on my commute home that is.

I can't even remember when I started calling it this, but I gave the label perfect train day to those odd days when every subway I'd have to take would somehow magically show up the moment I got to the platform. This used to mean it would happen both in the morning and evening in simpler times when I didn't live in my current place and getting to wherever I worked only required taking a single subway line. But since I have to take 3 subway lines to get to my office now, perfect train days seem pretty much impossible. There's no way this could happen to six different trains in a single day of commuting. However, it did happen on my way home. The G, 7 train and D train all pulled into each station the moment I got there and I even managed to snag a seat every time. Sure, I worked a little late today and left my office at 8pm so that was probably why I got seats, but the timing still all matched up! It's been a while since I've had a perfect train day in any shape or form, so it made me pretty happy and was the highlight of my evening. It was a nice little reminder that it does still exist! Yes, exciting stuff going on here, folks.

The clock on the subway platform said my train would come in 12 minutes, and I really didn't want to wait that long. So I hopped on a different subway line, then took a bus, and then finally transferred onto another subway line to get home just now.

Why am I like this?

Hello, world. Checking in here. Today is Halloween, and I have to say that this holiday is starting to feel more like a summer thing. It feels hot outside. I had a productive day at work. I have half a cinnamon roll I didn't finish from lunch resting right by computer right now here at home. But I think I'm more in the mood for a Korean cup ramen if anything. There are officially two months left in the decade. Yes, the motherfucking decade. I get lost in that thought sometimes, but then I'm like who cares. Can I tell you about my current obsession for sleep? It's funny because I've had insomnia for the majority of my life, and all of a sudden I am tired everyday and can't get enough sleep. All day, I dream about that moment when I can crawl into bed and lie vertically under the covers. And then when it happens, I whisper to myself, wow, dreams do come true. I was thinking there needs to be an earphone/headphone outreach program for all those people who watch their videos and listen to their music out loud on the subway. They gotta know that there's help out there for them. Also, did you know that during the peak of rush hour, there are people who walk slowly in the subway stations and underground tunnels (where literally hundreds of commuters are trying to get by) with their heads down staring into their phones? I kid you not, this is very true. I guess some people are just not in a rush to get to work. That's cool and all, but could they just like step to the side so others can move along with their life. Seriously. Also, did you know there are no scallops in scalloped potatoes?! I discovered that at work the other day, and it truly blew my mind. I could not stop laughing about it. Even now it makes me giggle. Lately, I think about Meg Thee Stallion a lot throughout my day. I wonder what she's doing, what her and Jonathan are up to, and if she's giving her bodyguard Justin some more shit for eating Fig Newtons. Her music is everything right now.

The past few weeks or so.

The weather here in New York has gotten warmer, and winter now is officially dunzo. I definitely won't miss feeling smothered in the subway by everyone's large coats and puffy jackets, so goodbye freezing temperatures and hello spring.

I recently just got a Spotify account and my world has been turned upside down from it. I also just got my hair permed after more than a decade of always having a short fade, and that's been a much needed change as well. I stopped getting hair cuts back in November and just let it grow for a few months. It felt funny to feel it down to the tops of my ears, but for the first time in my adult life it didn't bother me. It was nice though to get a trim this past weekend when I got my perm. The perming solution smell from the salon is faint but still there.

I was on the front end of the subway platform early yesterday evening waiting for the train, when two baby rats closely following a parent suddenly appeared on the lower track. They were so cute, and while seeing a rat by itself is no big deal, something about the three of them together made me think aww. It also became the conversation starter from the only other person there who saw it, a friendly grandpa nearby. He eventually ended up saying how much he regretted not taking a photo of it.

Spring in March

AC on the Subway is the first of the season,

like hotels near the seas in,

tropical weather that gives a good reason,

to be somewhere you won't freeze in.

Because on the train there's no ease in,

just make room and squeeze in!

The past few weeks or so.

Sometimes, a stranger on the bus or subway can seem so normal until you learn that they’re the type of asshole who puts their shopping bags on the seat next to them as they avoid eye contact with the world by staring down into their phone. These people are the worst.

When I was leaving the office today, the snow had already started to really come down.

It was a surprising view of the building's entrance. This was still from the inside where it was warm, but I knew it was time to leave. I took one last look of the street, with its whipping flurries and passersby fighting against the elements of the moment. I'd be leaving the toasty hallway right then to start the rest of my day, and life.

After getting home a little before 3pm, I decided to go back out and get some air. Even though the weather was bad, I still left my place in Harlem and headed downtown. I ended up walking for a bit, and then caught the 9:35pm showing of a movie at Quad Cinema. I watched this Korean movie called Burning, and it had been my first time back to the Quad since they remodeled it. I have a lot of memories at that theatre. I always liked going there because of the smaller theatre sizes, and many years ago, I even took my friend Annie there to watch a gay movie hours after coming out to her.