Wednesday, January 31, 2007

i don't know what's wrong with me.

i wish i was dead. i don't care how it happens, but i just wish i was fucking dead.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

i'm at COEX mall again, at the store that sells apple products to use their wireless. i've been coming here quite frequently and the workers are all really nice. i never usually talk with them, but just bow or nod when i see them. today they offered me something to drink and i said it was okay but they insisted on it so i have a nice hot cup of green tea next to me. i feel bad because i never buy anything but just come here and use their wireless but i guess they don't really seem to mind.

so last wednesday my cousin and her bf took me out for dinner and drinks and afterwards i was supposed to sleep at my cousin's house. we ate in Hongdae, which is where she lives and also known as like an artsy fartsy neighborhood because of the large art school that's there. they took me to this restaurant where you grill your own meat and it was sooo good. they told me it was famous and always busy. afterwards they took me to this seafood restaurant to have some drinks and snack on some fresh seafood as we ate drank. we ordered a lot of really fresh fish and also something called "Sahn Nahkjie," which is octopus that is so freshly killed that it's still moving on the plate. i know, i know, that might seem absolutely disgusting for most people but it was actually really good and i enjoyed it. haha the cool part is where you're eating some tentacles and it sticks to your toungue or the roof of your mouth because the sucking things are still moving.

well, suffice it to say i drank sooooo much that night and got plastered. after eating, we all split a cab home and when me and my cousin got out of the cab and was walking to her house, being the drunk fool that i was, i saw a deli and insisted on buying some more beer for me to drink at her house with her dad. she said okay and we bought beer and went back to her place and my aunt and uncle were waiting for us. we were all sitting down and drinking beer and talking, and then my uncle starts showing me pictures of my mom when she was younger. these were pictures i had never seen in my life, and i got kind of emotional. i said i wanted to call my parents and then i called my mom and went to the bathroom and started tearing because i was so happy to hear her voice. i come back out to the kitchen after hanging up on the phone and my uncle and aunt continue to show me pictures.

at this point i am so inebriated that i felt like i couldn't even breathe. they're talking to me and i yell that i need to barf. my aunt and uncle and cousin are looking at me like i'm freaking crazy, and i tell them i have to barf again. hahah my aunt then looks at me and says "how come everytime you come to my house you end up barfing!?!?" she said that because a few weeks ago when i slept over, i ate something bad or something but i got seriously sick after eating dinner at her house.

so i spent half the night in the bathroom and thought i was going to freaking die that night because i felt so sick. i even threw up all day the next day as well. i think it's the most fucked up i've been since i've been in korea. anyhoo, i decided to give my liver a break for awhile and drink a bit more moderately now. however on sat night my cousin tim wanted to drink so we went out and man after 3 cocktails i thought i was going to die. i came home early by myself and just started chucking my brains out again.

so yesss, moral of the story is i will be drinking a lot less from now on. i think my body was telling me that i've been hitting the bottle a bit too hard.

i haven't been doing much these days. it's been about a week since i've traveled anywhere worth mentioning. i went about an hour and 1/2 out of Seoul to go to this museum called the Independence Hall of Korea. i had been there numerous times as a kid because my uncle used to work there so i have a lot of fond memories of it. i guess i never realized that it's more than an hour and a half away from the city. it was quite a journey to get there, i had to take one bus for an hour and then transfer onto a smaller country bus for another 30 minutes to get to it. thing is, the bus driver on the second bus missed my stop and he ended up dropping me in the middle of fucking nowhere, and i had to follow the main road back for quite a while to get back to it.

anyhoo, it was definitely worth the trip out. it's an amazing museum and i even remembered seeing the stuff i saw as a kid.

okay well my fucking back is killing me from sitting on this stool for 3 hours so i will probably be heading out soon.

Friday, January 19, 2007

i drank wayy too much again last night. i feel like ive started this bad habit of barfing on the streets when i'm drunk. for some reason its become kind of fun doing that.

okay, sorry but i can't write anymore. whenever i drink, i can't function the next day. and right now i feel as if i'm rambling.

Monday, January 15, 2007

i'm using a wireless signal in coex mall at a store called A#SHOP, which is one of the few stores in korea that specialize in apple products. i came in today in hopes of getting help on my troubles with being able to use wireless in korea, and the worker told me that the store has a signal that i can use. yayy. i think i'll be coming here a lot more often.

ok this is going to be a purely pic update. i would caption them, but the way Blogger uploads pictures makes it impossible when posting a large number at once. enjoy.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

danm i feel so fucking depressed.

to people who don't believe in depression, i assure you it is a true and powerful thing. it just hits you like a ton of bricks out of nowhere. one minute you're sitting and watching television, and the next you want to cry and crawl into a hole and die. there's no apparent reason or source for the mood change. god i don't even know what to do with myself.

i feel so fucking shjitty. damn you depression. fuck you.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

wow it's already wed here.

so, i've been meaning to post here more and more, just for the sake of looking back on my trip years from now, but i've been emailing my close friends like 3 times a day, giving detailed accounts of my day so i guess it makes me too tired to post here. i think im just going to start telling them to read this blog.

so okay. new years in Seoul was amazing. me, tim, and a few other people went to like the times sq of korea to watch them ring this large ceremonial bell while shooting fireworks at the stroke of midnight. it was an insane experience because there was just hundreds of thousands of people everywhere shooting fireworks in the sky, on top of fireworks that the city put on. it was really beautiful, but damn it was soooo fucking crowded. when i tried getting off the subway and was walking up the steps to the street, i was stuck on the steps for over 10 minutes as thousands of people were trying to get off, and thousands of others were trying to get on the subway. i was just stuck in a sea of people on the steps, unable to move AT ALL. it was a fucking nightmare. people just wouldn't stop pushing, at people were falling over and it was madness. what pisses me off the most is that theres like 5 cops watching the whole scene over some railing, and they didn't do shit to get some crowd control going on. and finally after we did get up the steps, people are just pushing you left and right.

i have to admit that at first i hated this city, and there's still many things im trying to get used to, but as time goes by i'm starting to love this place more and more. at 6 in the morning, the streets were crowded with people who were also drinking yet there was no trouble between people. everyone just minds their own business and has a good time. unlike in nyc.

i mentioned that i've been taking massive pictures and whatnot since i've been here, but god damnnit i've been to every damn place in this city that sells apple products, and nowhere have i been able to purchase my power adapter. the only place i can get it s through apple korea's website, and i tried ordering it but they don't take American Express, Visa, or Mastercard. they only take these solely korean credit card companies, which kind of boggles me because well i thought all the cards i have are international.

so yeah, i still havent been able to use my mac here at all. it's damn annoying coming to a pc bang all the time. i feel paranoid looking at things i want to look at, let alone i can't look at any gay related websites.

today i went to the Coex Mall Aquarium. it was decent i guess, no complaints. all though it was kind of pricey with tickets at like more than $16 bucks, but whatever. it was filled with kids though, which made it fun. korean kids are so cute, i love watching them interact with people and things around them. being alone there, i tried not to seem like a pedophile. anyway, i had a good time nonetheless.

also, aside from going to tourist spots in the city, i joined the gym that tim goes to. it's been good i guess. it's only my second day going, and i'm already over it. but i know i have to go and lose weight. if i do nothing else this trip other than waste money and have fun, i have to lose some damn weight and get my life together. tim's teaching me how to workout, so i guess we'll see how that goes.

hopefully it'll be a great 24th bday.