Even though it's the weekend, I've been getting terrible sleep. Since Friday night, I've been falling asleep at a ridiculous late-night hour that feels more like my ideal time to wake up early and start my day on the right foot. I've also been having the weirdest dreams the past few days and opening my eyes to this heaviness and exhaustion.

After waking up today, I lied in bed for a bit not sure of what to do with my thoughts or my day. I used cleaning my room as a reason to get motivated and on my feet, and as I was Swiffering my floor with Natalie Merchant's Tigerlily album playing in the background, my phone rang—it was my good friend Annie calling. 

Annie and I have been close since high school and she's been living in Seattle for a while now. Honestly, at our age, with most people having life partners, kids, and generally, different interests, it's natural that all friendships evolve or fizzle out. And that's totally okay, because as we get busier with more responsibilities, that's just how life works. I could say that outside of my core group of friends, it's inevitable that I've become mutually untethered from most other people I used to know, and now keeping in contact through Instagram likes is more than sufficient. If there's nothing left connecting us or no longer any genuine effort put forth into friendship, people grow apart and move on and there's nothing wrong with that. But that's why I'm so thankful to the forever friends who do check in on me to make sure I'm doing alright. Annie has always been one of those friends, and is one of my dearest pals who genuinely knows me so well (and vice versa). Getting her call today couldn't have come at a better moment. We gabbed for about an hour-and-a-half and she helped me with a lot of the mental blockers and stuff I've been recently trying to process. By the time we hung up, I was feeling much better about everything.

Afterwards, I got some air from a walk and have been vegging at home doing absolutely nothing since.

Now, Sunday is nearing its end and it's time to mentally prepare for my upcoming workweek.

"But how was I to,

know which way the story'd go?"

From the song Take a Bow by Madonna.

As a kid, I was obsessed with this music video when it first came out.

"Do you mean what you say when there's no one around?"

From the song Take a Bow by Madonna.

"Swaying room,

as the music starts.
Strangers making the most of the dark.
Two by two,

their bodies become one."

From the song Crazy for You by Madonna.

"See, I'm searching for a real love,

and I don't know where to go."

From the song Real Love by Mary J. Blige.

"So I slowly came to see,

all of the things that you were made of."

From the song Real Love by Mary J. Blige.

"I've been doing my own thing.
Love has always had a way of having bad timing."

From the song Tell Me by Groove Theory.

"You're an inspiration to me.
Let's celebrate life.
Life has just begun for me."

From the song Inspiration by Kerri Chandler.

"If you could be mine,

we'd both shine."

From the song If I Ruled the World by Nas ft Lauryn Hill.

"Still livin' for today,

in these last days and times."

From the song If I Ruled the World by Nas ft Lauryn Hill.

"Life,

I wonder.

Will it take me under?

I don't know."

From the song If I Ruled the World by Nas ft Lauryn Hill.

The cold side of the pillow,

listening to chill 90s Korean music,

been so tired all day,

slept only a few hours yesterday,

but in bed right now,

feeling dread,

if I lived alone,

I’d probably just start getting tanked,

or uncomfortably full,

good thing I’m not,

because it’ll wake the roomie, 

I hate having to use the bathroom at night,

small apartment,

big anxiety,

sirens nonstop,

I refuse to rot,

keep thinking dumb shit,

gonna pop,

it’s past 3 now,

horns on the avenue still honk,

people yelling on the street,

I wonder who else is up,

with similar thoughts.

"If you believe in yourself enough, 
and know what you want,
you're gonna make it happen."

From the song Make It Happen by Mariah Carey.

"Here we go around again,
one more time,
will it ever end?"

From the song Here We Go Around Again by Mariah Carey.

“This is a song I’ve been singing for a long time. It’s like an old friend.”

From the song The Glory of Love by Bette Midler.

"Glitter on the mattress."

From the song Love Shack by The B52s.

"I may know the word,
but not say it."

From the song I May Know the Word by Natalie Merchant.

"With love, with patience, and with faith,
she'll make her way."

From the song Wonder by Natalie Merchant.

"If you believe in yourself enough,
and know what you want,
you're gonna make it happen."

From the song Make It Happen by Mariah Carey.

"I don't care what they think. 
I don't care what they say. 
What do they know about this love anyway?"

From the song Come To My Window by Melissa Etheridge.