Thursday, November 13, 2008

the worst part about going to bed is trying to fall asleep --- i can never fall asleep. i was tired as hell and cranky a couple of hours ago and i just wanted was some shut eye. but all i did was stare at my ceiling and get frustrated while i tried to fall asleep. then a memory just came into my head and i wanted to write about it before i forgot.

i can't remember when this happened, but it was definitely within the past few days and during one of my morning commutes to work.

i was sitting on the subway reading and listening to music when a stranger came and sat next to me. bear in mind that this is rush hour and the trains are pretty packed. i was sitting at an end so no one was sitting to my left, and the guy was on my right. the space was a bit tight so he sorta had to squeeze and press against my body while he sat and when he did, all i could think of was how nice it felt to have someone's body come in contact with mine. i'm really not a perv and was not at all thinking of this in some sexually distorted way (i don't even remember a single detail about the guy aside from how i felt), but it just felt comforting to have someone sitting closely next to me. i just wanted to rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes --- it felt that nice. it made me realize how much i miss just being with someone --- i don't even have to be doing anything with a person aside from physically being in each other's presence and being within a close proximity from them. i miss that.

that's when i realized how lonely i am and how i sometimes yearn for some closeness and intimacy with someone.

blah blah blahhhh.

okay i'm really going to try to fall asleep. goodnight.


  1. welcome to the human condition! i think it's pretty great you posted such a basic feeling. we all feel this way in one form or another.

  2. Awww honey, I totally understand what you mean. Simple human touch can be so wonderful. I've felt the exact same way sitting next to some strangers on the bus. It feels even better when it's a hot guy ;-)


  3. Hey, Thwany,
    I understand. We are human beings.
    We are made to miss each other no matter how ugly or mediocre or pretty the counter party maybe...
    If too pretty, you can not fall into sleep.
    You will have to worry!

    Anyway, can I ask a favor to you.
    I have Iphonecredit which is usable only in U.S.
    So I am thinking of traveling to NY sometime this or next month.
    Can you do this for me?
    Then I can go and pick it up.

    I also want to have a picture with you in NYC.

    J Lee

  4. Wasn't there like a cuddle party that was so popular a couple years ago? Strangers meet up and they all cuddle -- no sex.