Yo 2020,
don't you come near me.
Tired of your stunts, see?
Had more than plenty.
Be gone in the morning,
cause you ain't friendly.
When the new year comes,
your end won't bring envy.
Showing posts with label fuck you. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fuck you. Show all posts
Friday, August 09, 2013
Wednesday, August 07, 2013
"New York is regarded as a gay-friendly city in a state that has legalized gay marriage, but this Op-Doc video shows that it can still be dangerous for a same-sex couple to walk down the street holding hands.
On May 5, 2013, a young couple was attacked outside Madison Square Garden in broad daylight. Nick Porto and Kevin Atkins were walking hand in hand when a group of several men, clad in Knicks jerseys, called them 'faggots' and pushed them to the ground, beating them to the point of a torn ligament and a broken nose...
They illustrate a sad statistic. According to the New York Police Department, there were already 29 reported antigay hate crimes in New York City by late May, an increase of 70 percent compared with the same period in 2012 (even as hate crimes over all went down nearly 30 percent). The real number may be higher, as many attacks are not reported."
From the August 7, 2013, New York Times article, An Attack on Equality, by Alison Klayman.
This makes me sick to my stomach.
On May 5, 2013, a young couple was attacked outside Madison Square Garden in broad daylight. Nick Porto and Kevin Atkins were walking hand in hand when a group of several men, clad in Knicks jerseys, called them 'faggots' and pushed them to the ground, beating them to the point of a torn ligament and a broken nose...
They illustrate a sad statistic. According to the New York Police Department, there were already 29 reported antigay hate crimes in New York City by late May, an increase of 70 percent compared with the same period in 2012 (even as hate crimes over all went down nearly 30 percent). The real number may be higher, as many attacks are not reported."
From the August 7, 2013, New York Times article, An Attack on Equality, by Alison Klayman.
This makes me sick to my stomach.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
The Solitary Man.
He's glamorized in movies, these sorts of protagonists in books are often looked at as heros, and television as well sometimes helps these rustic characters come to life as nonconformist recluses. However, what people might not consider is---what about all their quiet moments of loneliness that add up to a substantial amount of interaction-withdrawal?
He's glamorized in movies, these sorts of protagonists in books are often looked at as heros, and television as well sometimes helps these rustic characters come to life as nonconformist recluses. However, what people might not consider is---what about all their quiet moments of loneliness that add up to a substantial amount of interaction-withdrawal?
When every meal is practically eaten in companionless tedium? When the urge to just shoot-the-shit with somebody comes, but there's not a single person to beckon? When the only person that can help with a small favor is yourself? When, what should be, the simple interactions of daily life are thwarted by a language barrier? When something exciting or notable has happened, but there's not a single person that it can be shared with? When everyone around seems to be laughing and enjoying other people's company, and the only thought that comes to mind is get me the fuck out of here? When the people that could provide the best support are literally thousands of miles away? When you're actually able to meet up with someone after a long while, but then you realize that you're only meeting them out of boredom and that most people don't know how to fucking listen anymore because they're too busy talking? When an incessant stream of thoughts fill the void left by the vacancy of others? When insomnia has taken over once again and lying next to a warm body would be the best medicine? When the only function of a cellular phone becomes using it for its alarm? When sitting in a busy area and staring out a window for hours becomes a norm? When the aftereffects of laughing until keeling over is too hard to recall? When everyone seems to have moved on with their lives to find something of their own, and you're trying to find your own happiness within yourself?
Spending most of my time alone for the past two years since I left NYC has changed me tremendously---and with anything negative, there have also been many positive life-lessons as well.
I was used to doing some things solo back in NYC, but all of that has entered into an entirely-new stratosphere since arriving in a new continent... and when I think about it, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
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Tuesday, July 26, 2011
it's official, i'm no longer going to dispute or argue with bangkok taxi drivers anymore.
my friend was telling me the other day that her uncle---a staunch man who from the many stories i've heard about him doesn't seem to take shit from anybody---recently got into a screaming match with the driver of a taxi he was riding. i'm not sure what they were fighting over, but at a certain point, the taxi driver brandished a knife and my friend's uncle immediately apologized and exited the cab.
wow. seriously.
my friend was telling me the other day that her uncle---a staunch man who from the many stories i've heard about him doesn't seem to take shit from anybody---recently got into a screaming match with the driver of a taxi he was riding. i'm not sure what they were fighting over, but at a certain point, the taxi driver brandished a knife and my friend's uncle immediately apologized and exited the cab.
wow. seriously.
Friday, November 12, 2010
wow. okay. so. let's see. i don't even know where i should start with this entry. oh yes---i got it now.
to start with the good news---I GOT A JOB.
yes, and it's not teaching english at some banal school or anything, but an actual i-could-do-this-for-my-career sort of job. as a matter of fact, i can say that it's my DREAM JOB. i could not have imagined a better job that suits me, my work ethic, what i want to achieve in korea, and how i always imagined myself living here.
last thursday, i interviewed at the #1 pr agency in all of seoul. the office is located a block away from the galleria mall in apkujeong, which is one of the ritziest parts of town. the ceo lady of the company personally interviewed me and she hired me on the spot. in that moment, i can't even begin to describe how happy i was. finally, after five months of an extensive job search and in korea and busting my ass, it was all coming together. and the best part was, i could finally quit my bar job! all i could think was yes---there was a reason for it all. all the doubt, struggle and adversity from the past five months were immediately relinquished from my heart and i felt twenty pounds lighter. if i had not gone through all that, then i would have not been at the point where i now was. i'm a huge believer in fate and now that i figured out what i would be doing in korea, i felt such relief. relief in the fact that i didn't have to worry about money anymore. relief that i'd be doing the sort of work that i could be proud of. relief that i could confidently say that everything had been worth it. relief that my job search was finally over, and i could finally fucking move on and start this new chapter of my life.
i was asked to start working that very morning, but i told them i had to take care of some things and it was decided i'd start the next day. immediately, i was given an assignment and informed about the client i would be working with, which is probably one of the most famous fashion brands in the world (you know the one that has a monogram of two letters and is duplicated and sold in chinatowns around the world?). the fashion brand is doing something really big in seoul in about a month. it's something that has never been done before in korea, so it's a big deal for everyone. only the top editors, stylists and fashion people from asia are invited, and my job would be working with all of them and other facets of the event.
my first day of work last friday was very intense. i was proud of the fact that i not only survived it, but did a good ass fucking job as well. the fact that i read and write korean on the level of a native second grader, or that this was my first time being submersed in korean office culture, or that colleagues would come to me to discuss work related stuff and i would just nod my head while saying "sure" even though i had no idea what they were saying or that it takes me an exorbitant amount of time to do simple tasks because i can't understand powerpoint in korean didn't matter, because i was enjoying what i was doing. i was happy that i would be learning and working alongside the industry's best in korea, and was proud to be given a role at this company. it's been almost two years since i was laid-off at my former publishing job, and to be employed again where i didn't have to serve customers was something i felt extremely grateful for. to have my own desk and area and somewhere i could call my own again, man---it just felt good.
i also worked on saturday because my boss and i had to go to a few stores and museums to do some location scouting. afterwards, she took me out to dinner and we had a few beers and got more acquainted with each other. to go back to my whole belief in fate, let me tell you about my boss. she had just started working again the week before i started because she had just returned from being in nyc for two years. she worked at the company before she left for nyc, so the office and environment wasn't completely new to her, but she was still trying to get back into her work groove. she told me she really enjoyed being in nyc and it was great because we talked about restaurants, bars, and other nyc stuff that we liked. during dinner, i really got to know her and realized how damn lucky i was to have her as my boss. she's super smart and good at what she does, and she told me that from what she witnessed on my first day, that i would do well at the company. she even stated that finding good employees in korea is hard, and that once i start networking more, she was sure that i'd start to get other job offers from competitors because that's just how the industry works here. she said we were both fortunate to be working with each other and she wants to do all she can to help me succeed. all that on top of the fact that she had just returned from nyc and was understanding/patient with the fact that my korean isn't perfect, what more could i ask for? everything just felt right. if you put all these details in a brown paper bag and give me a black sharpie, i will seal the top with a quick crumple and write FATE in large lettering.
suffice it to say, i was on cloud nine for the remainder of last weekend. i called my family and told them the good news. i emailed close friends to share how happy i was and to tell them about an interesting incident that happened on my first day. i couldn't wait for the weekend to end and was looking forward to monday morning. i felt excited about life again. the feeling of finding a good job after such a long time of unemployment/instability was now in the past and i was elated with the opportunities that could possibly materialize with my hard work. the rest was up to me now, and i was definitely up for the challenge.
on my commute this monday morning, i even found a seat on the subway. i don't know if any of you have ever experienced rush hour in seoul, but it can be brutal. actually landing a seat and catching up with my sister on the phone was the perfectly auspicious way to start my first work week.
i arrived at work by 9:20 that morning and i got started on what i needed to get done. then around 10am, i received a phone call from an unfamiliar number. the person on the other line was a lady who i had never spoken to before, and she stated my name and asked if she had the correct number. i confirmed that it was and asked who she was and what she wanted. she told me she was calling from some sort of office, but i didn't understand what she was saying in korean. i excused myself from my desk and took the call outside, and that's when everything began to unravel.
it turns out that the woman works for the korean government, and was calling me from the military department. she stated that december 6 would be the six-month mark of my time in korea, and that's the longest i can legally stay here. if i want to stay in korea past december 6, i must enlist in korea's mandatory two-year military service. if i choose not to enroll, then i must leave the country and i am not welcome back for another six months. this is all in effect until i turn 38. if i have any desire to live in korea, be here for more than 6 months at a time or legally make money here before i turn 38, then i absolutely must spend two years in the korean military.
seriously? wtf.
the reason for this situation is, i've previously blogged about this before, but when i was born, my paternal grandfather (the one who currently still lives in alaska) put my name on the korean national registry. he put the names of all his grandchildren on that list with good intentions, and it technically makes us korean citizens. for females it's not a big deal if their names are on the list because the draft doesn't affect them. however, for males, if you plan to live in korea and if your name is on that list and not taken off the list before you turn eighteen, then you absolutely must serve in the armed forces. and that's what happened with me. since my name is on that list and i didn't deal with it before i turned eighteen, well, i'm stuck with the consequences. most other korean-american males (and females) can come and settle down in korea for years with a particular visa called the "f4" visa. this special visa allows people who have korean parents that were born in korea, to work and live freely here as korean citizens. the difference between me and the majority of these people is their names were most likely never put on the korean registry, but mine was. therefore they don't have to deal with all these legal technicalities or even fathom the idea of having to go to the korean military. and for any other foreigner who wants to come to korea, it's not a problem. while they aren't eligible for the f4, they can always come here through a work visa.
the phone call was shocking, but at the same time i knew my name was on the national registry. however, i only found that out when i arrived in korea and applied for that special f4 visa. since i wasn't eligible for the f4, i just assumed that if i acquired a visa through a job, that that would allow me to stay here since i wasn't just moving here to just live here, but i was legally moving here to work. the lady on the phone told me that a work visa did not matter because it doesn't change the fact that my name is on the list---i'm still required to get serve in the military no matter what, just like every other male korean citizen.
after i hung up the phone, damn, i sure was fucking pissed. everything i had worked hard for in the past five months was just gone. my first monday morning of work started off so awesome and i thought i had nothing but the world ahead of me. but all that evaporated into thin air.
the dream of living here long term and establishing some sort of live here is gone. the dream is now officially dead.
i know this situation is something beyond my control, so i've accepted everything for what it is. the day my grandfather put my name on the national registry, my fate was sealed. before i turned 18, i had no fucking idea of what my grandfather had done, let alone did i have any desire or thought at that age of wanting to live in my parent's homeland in the future. however, i must give kudos to the korean government for their impeccable record keeping and the fact that they were able to track down my phone number. since i don't have a visa, officially i can't do anything under my name so my cell phone was opened under my cousin's name.
i'm really still pissed off about it all, but i guess really just more upset. i've made some good friends here, people who have looked out for me and always made sure i was okay; people who have heavily influenced my time here in a positive way and that i've gotten to know very well. but now my time with them is most likely over. sure, it doesn't mean i'm never going to see them again, but i'm sad that the era of being with them in korea is going to end in a few weeks. i also really love living in seoul. i feel comfortable here and appreciate all the culture and progress that's been made in this country. there's just so much going on here in terms of art, technology, culture, finance, politics, etc, and i just wanted to be able to experience some of it. if you've never been here, forget what you think you know about seoul. it's so much better than what you can even imagine.
up until that phone call, the goals i had set for myself seemed to finally start materializing. finding a job that i enjoy was the last part of the missing puzzle in my life and everything finally felt complete. the timing of the phone call is just so crazy. the very first monday of my new dream job is when i receive this life-changing news. it's pretty hilarious, really. i mean, my business cards were already ordered for god's sake. and during dinner with my boss last saturday, she already mentioned future projects and what my roles could be in regards to them. and now it's as if none of that ever happened... the promising possibilities of my future was laid out before me, and then snatched away in a second.
i guess korea just wasn't meant to be. i don't know what my next steps are, but i'm 99% sure that i will not be going back to nyc. i'm not ready yet. it's just not the right time. i know that something else is supposed to happen to me at this time of my life, and i know it's not in nyc. i don't have many options since i'm broke, but i'm just going to have to deal.
the good news is, life events like this don't falter my belief in fate. i know everything happens for a reason. thank you, life---for always keeping me on my toes.
to start with the good news---I GOT A JOB.
yes, and it's not teaching english at some banal school or anything, but an actual i-could-do-this-for-my-career sort of job. as a matter of fact, i can say that it's my DREAM JOB. i could not have imagined a better job that suits me, my work ethic, what i want to achieve in korea, and how i always imagined myself living here.
last thursday, i interviewed at the #1 pr agency in all of seoul. the office is located a block away from the galleria mall in apkujeong, which is one of the ritziest parts of town. the ceo lady of the company personally interviewed me and she hired me on the spot. in that moment, i can't even begin to describe how happy i was. finally, after five months of an extensive job search and in korea and busting my ass, it was all coming together. and the best part was, i could finally quit my bar job! all i could think was yes---there was a reason for it all. all the doubt, struggle and adversity from the past five months were immediately relinquished from my heart and i felt twenty pounds lighter. if i had not gone through all that, then i would have not been at the point where i now was. i'm a huge believer in fate and now that i figured out what i would be doing in korea, i felt such relief. relief in the fact that i didn't have to worry about money anymore. relief that i'd be doing the sort of work that i could be proud of. relief that i could confidently say that everything had been worth it. relief that my job search was finally over, and i could finally fucking move on and start this new chapter of my life.
i was asked to start working that very morning, but i told them i had to take care of some things and it was decided i'd start the next day. immediately, i was given an assignment and informed about the client i would be working with, which is probably one of the most famous fashion brands in the world (you know the one that has a monogram of two letters and is duplicated and sold in chinatowns around the world?). the fashion brand is doing something really big in seoul in about a month. it's something that has never been done before in korea, so it's a big deal for everyone. only the top editors, stylists and fashion people from asia are invited, and my job would be working with all of them and other facets of the event.
my first day of work last friday was very intense. i was proud of the fact that i not only survived it, but did a good ass fucking job as well. the fact that i read and write korean on the level of a native second grader, or that this was my first time being submersed in korean office culture, or that colleagues would come to me to discuss work related stuff and i would just nod my head while saying "sure" even though i had no idea what they were saying or that it takes me an exorbitant amount of time to do simple tasks because i can't understand powerpoint in korean didn't matter, because i was enjoying what i was doing. i was happy that i would be learning and working alongside the industry's best in korea, and was proud to be given a role at this company. it's been almost two years since i was laid-off at my former publishing job, and to be employed again where i didn't have to serve customers was something i felt extremely grateful for. to have my own desk and area and somewhere i could call my own again, man---it just felt good.
i also worked on saturday because my boss and i had to go to a few stores and museums to do some location scouting. afterwards, she took me out to dinner and we had a few beers and got more acquainted with each other. to go back to my whole belief in fate, let me tell you about my boss. she had just started working again the week before i started because she had just returned from being in nyc for two years. she worked at the company before she left for nyc, so the office and environment wasn't completely new to her, but she was still trying to get back into her work groove. she told me she really enjoyed being in nyc and it was great because we talked about restaurants, bars, and other nyc stuff that we liked. during dinner, i really got to know her and realized how damn lucky i was to have her as my boss. she's super smart and good at what she does, and she told me that from what she witnessed on my first day, that i would do well at the company. she even stated that finding good employees in korea is hard, and that once i start networking more, she was sure that i'd start to get other job offers from competitors because that's just how the industry works here. she said we were both fortunate to be working with each other and she wants to do all she can to help me succeed. all that on top of the fact that she had just returned from nyc and was understanding/patient with the fact that my korean isn't perfect, what more could i ask for? everything just felt right. if you put all these details in a brown paper bag and give me a black sharpie, i will seal the top with a quick crumple and write FATE in large lettering.
suffice it to say, i was on cloud nine for the remainder of last weekend. i called my family and told them the good news. i emailed close friends to share how happy i was and to tell them about an interesting incident that happened on my first day. i couldn't wait for the weekend to end and was looking forward to monday morning. i felt excited about life again. the feeling of finding a good job after such a long time of unemployment/instability was now in the past and i was elated with the opportunities that could possibly materialize with my hard work. the rest was up to me now, and i was definitely up for the challenge.
on my commute this monday morning, i even found a seat on the subway. i don't know if any of you have ever experienced rush hour in seoul, but it can be brutal. actually landing a seat and catching up with my sister on the phone was the perfectly auspicious way to start my first work week.
i arrived at work by 9:20 that morning and i got started on what i needed to get done. then around 10am, i received a phone call from an unfamiliar number. the person on the other line was a lady who i had never spoken to before, and she stated my name and asked if she had the correct number. i confirmed that it was and asked who she was and what she wanted. she told me she was calling from some sort of office, but i didn't understand what she was saying in korean. i excused myself from my desk and took the call outside, and that's when everything began to unravel.
it turns out that the woman works for the korean government, and was calling me from the military department. she stated that december 6 would be the six-month mark of my time in korea, and that's the longest i can legally stay here. if i want to stay in korea past december 6, i must enlist in korea's mandatory two-year military service. if i choose not to enroll, then i must leave the country and i am not welcome back for another six months. this is all in effect until i turn 38. if i have any desire to live in korea, be here for more than 6 months at a time or legally make money here before i turn 38, then i absolutely must spend two years in the korean military.
seriously? wtf.
the reason for this situation is, i've previously blogged about this before, but when i was born, my paternal grandfather (the one who currently still lives in alaska) put my name on the korean national registry. he put the names of all his grandchildren on that list with good intentions, and it technically makes us korean citizens. for females it's not a big deal if their names are on the list because the draft doesn't affect them. however, for males, if you plan to live in korea and if your name is on that list and not taken off the list before you turn eighteen, then you absolutely must serve in the armed forces. and that's what happened with me. since my name is on that list and i didn't deal with it before i turned eighteen, well, i'm stuck with the consequences. most other korean-american males (and females) can come and settle down in korea for years with a particular visa called the "f4" visa. this special visa allows people who have korean parents that were born in korea, to work and live freely here as korean citizens. the difference between me and the majority of these people is their names were most likely never put on the korean registry, but mine was. therefore they don't have to deal with all these legal technicalities or even fathom the idea of having to go to the korean military. and for any other foreigner who wants to come to korea, it's not a problem. while they aren't eligible for the f4, they can always come here through a work visa.
the phone call was shocking, but at the same time i knew my name was on the national registry. however, i only found that out when i arrived in korea and applied for that special f4 visa. since i wasn't eligible for the f4, i just assumed that if i acquired a visa through a job, that that would allow me to stay here since i wasn't just moving here to just live here, but i was legally moving here to work. the lady on the phone told me that a work visa did not matter because it doesn't change the fact that my name is on the list---i'm still required to get serve in the military no matter what, just like every other male korean citizen.
after i hung up the phone, damn, i sure was fucking pissed. everything i had worked hard for in the past five months was just gone. my first monday morning of work started off so awesome and i thought i had nothing but the world ahead of me. but all that evaporated into thin air.
the dream of living here long term and establishing some sort of live here is gone. the dream is now officially dead.
i know this situation is something beyond my control, so i've accepted everything for what it is. the day my grandfather put my name on the national registry, my fate was sealed. before i turned 18, i had no fucking idea of what my grandfather had done, let alone did i have any desire or thought at that age of wanting to live in my parent's homeland in the future. however, i must give kudos to the korean government for their impeccable record keeping and the fact that they were able to track down my phone number. since i don't have a visa, officially i can't do anything under my name so my cell phone was opened under my cousin's name.
i'm really still pissed off about it all, but i guess really just more upset. i've made some good friends here, people who have looked out for me and always made sure i was okay; people who have heavily influenced my time here in a positive way and that i've gotten to know very well. but now my time with them is most likely over. sure, it doesn't mean i'm never going to see them again, but i'm sad that the era of being with them in korea is going to end in a few weeks. i also really love living in seoul. i feel comfortable here and appreciate all the culture and progress that's been made in this country. there's just so much going on here in terms of art, technology, culture, finance, politics, etc, and i just wanted to be able to experience some of it. if you've never been here, forget what you think you know about seoul. it's so much better than what you can even imagine.
up until that phone call, the goals i had set for myself seemed to finally start materializing. finding a job that i enjoy was the last part of the missing puzzle in my life and everything finally felt complete. the timing of the phone call is just so crazy. the very first monday of my new dream job is when i receive this life-changing news. it's pretty hilarious, really. i mean, my business cards were already ordered for god's sake. and during dinner with my boss last saturday, she already mentioned future projects and what my roles could be in regards to them. and now it's as if none of that ever happened... the promising possibilities of my future was laid out before me, and then snatched away in a second.
i guess korea just wasn't meant to be. i don't know what my next steps are, but i'm 99% sure that i will not be going back to nyc. i'm not ready yet. it's just not the right time. i know that something else is supposed to happen to me at this time of my life, and i know it's not in nyc. i don't have many options since i'm broke, but i'm just going to have to deal.
the good news is, life events like this don't falter my belief in fate. i know everything happens for a reason. thank you, life---for always keeping me on my toes.
Monday, November 08, 2010
Monday, May 03, 2010
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Thursday, March 30, 2006
lkjsadfvioqyp
i feel so awful. i just want to crawl under my desk and stay there forever. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. i just feel horrible. i need to get away from evrything i know. i need to get the hell out of nyc. im afraid of what'll happen if i don't. damn, sometimes i scare myself because i have no answers.
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