Tuesday, April 04, 2006

hmmm

so i woke up today feeling totally nauseous. ever since i was told the news yesterday, i'm constantly nauseous and always on the verge of throwing up. well, at least i feel like throwing up. i had breakfast today at my house and on my bus ride to main street, i felt like i was going to puke everywhere. at work today i felt all day that someone was going to come up to me and tell me that there was some mistake that's been made. that i was wrongly promoted, and that i should forget everything i've been told. honestly if that happened i would be relieved, and kind of happy. but of course it didn't. anyway, i was on the bus coming home today and i realized that i shouldn't be so nervous. i thought about new bus drivers, and how nervous they must be on their first days on the job. they're responsible for the lives of every person that on their bus, and that's a lot to handle. then i tried to think of other jobs that hold more responsibility, and if they fucked up, then the consequences would be more dire than getting canned. well, there's a million of them, i'm sure you can think of some yourself. work today didn't feel any different than any other day. that's because other than one person in the office, no one really knows about my promotion, or at least i don't think they do because no one's said anything to me or seems to be acting different. also, since everyone still assumes i will forever be an intern, they're still givin me the same work as always. however, **** did not talk to me all day. it's not like she went out of her way to not talk to me, but there were a few opportunities where she could have but didn't. i on the other hand said hi and bye to her because her desk is right by the door, and i have to pass her when coming in and out. so, i have a meeting tomorrow at ten, then one at eleven. and plus i have to wake up at like 5:30 in the morning to go do my laundry before i leave my house. ugh... the life.

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