whoa nelly

today has been such a fucking surreal day. i told my one of my bosses that i was going to go into work late today because i worked like 9 hours on saturday and had shit to do. so i wake up and go pick up my paul smith shoes that i dropped off last week at the shoe repair place to get rubber fitter on the soles so i won't slip when i wear them. i come back home to drop them off and then go to soho to visit my old workplace, the chocolate store, which i haven't had time to visit in months. it's always nice to go back there because i'm still pretty much friends with most of the workers, so we always have a good time catching up. at about 1 i go to work and go to my cubicle and am told that one of the main people of our division wants to speak to me. i'm kind of like, "fuck!" because i had this powerpoint thing to do today and i didn't do it. so yeah, i go into the office and he asks about the powerpoint thing but i tell him that i was writing a paper all weekend so i couldn't get to it. he says it's no biggie and to hand it in later today. so then he starts asking me about my summer plans, and when my internship is finished. and let me just say that this is THE NICEST fucking guy i've ever worked for. soo nice, like i can't get over how much of a good person he is. so then he starts talking about the new channel launching in june and whatnot, and this is the kicker. he offers me to the position of program director, which is the head person of the channel. like the HEAD person, meaning that i will be the boss of people and all that shit. i couldn't believe it because... well im only 23, started interning here in january, and don't fucking know diddily squat about running a tv station. but then he reassures me that i will be taught everything i need to know, and that yes it's going to be insane and a lot of work, but that the position is mine if i want it. of course i say yes and for the rest of the day, i'm in awe. ME? running a fucking tv station on a network that is probably one of the LARGEST in the whole world.... wow.... even to think about it now is crazy. so, no one in the office knows and for the rest of the day, i walk around TOTALLY nauseated and am about to barf at any given moment. i swear, lately i get so nauseated from the littlest things. if i was a girl and having sex, i would believe i was pregnant, that's how bad it is. i can't believe, i'm gonna be program director of the channel. weeeeeeeeeeeee. i have total creative control of most of everything, and it's fucking madness! madness i tell you. but of course, there is a downside to all this. **due to legal and other issues, i will never use real names of coworkers and never reveal the company i work for. i've gone ahead and deleted all the times i've referenced it in this blog already** the downside to all this is, i don't think other people in the office are going to be very thrilled. i've barely been there compared to a lot of workers. also, there's a girl who i work with, we'll call her ****. **** is the program director for a sister channel, and i will be doing what she's doing now for the new channel. anyway, i've never really liked ****. **** isn't a nice person and has a lot of seniority in the office and i feel like she knows that and uses it to abuse people sometimes. so **** just turned 30, and i will be doing her job at 23. today i quietly approached her and told her that our boss, we have the same one, wants to start training me to do what she's doing for the new channel. now, up until now, **** has always been nice to me. i've seen her yell at bitch at other people for no reason, but she would never do that to me for some reason. she's always been nice to me, but honestly how could i like someone like that? well, i don't. so i told **** about my new job and basically am making nice and tell her that i'm going to have so many questions for her in the upcoming months and that i have EVERYTHING to learn. when i tell her, she looks like she got hit by a dump truck. and then she scoffs and gives me a "what the fuck are you smoking?" look because she doesn't believe me. then she goes back to her desk and starts emailing me questions that she's fucking asked me already like a million times. basically, if i'm graduating in may. i respond with no. she then asks when. then i say december, and she never responds nor talks to me for the rest of the day. WHAT THE FUCK. ugh, i know she's not going to make this new job easy for me. and the thing is, i NEED to learn everything from either her or one other guy. so the two of them will me my new teachers, even though i know they both probably despise me. but ****, i don't know, she's unpredictable and i'm think she's going to make the learning process for me as hard as possible. we'll see.... but yeah, in all honestly, i'm fucking scared. really scared shitless... this is the first professional paying job i will have and it's such a huge position, i do not want to fuck it up. i know that in the upcoming months, this job will become my life. anyway, i will be sure to update all the time now. i have no other outlet to bitch about work now. i feel bad doing it to my friends since i'm getting paid and shit, so i will do it here. cheers.