It's like, things are getting better and progression during the pandemic is happening. 

But then, when thinking about the human toll of COVID-19, it's seriously beyond grasping.

"A nation numbed by misery and loss is confronting a number that still has the power to shock: 500,000.

Roughly one year since the first known death by the coronavirus in the United States, an unfathomable toll is nearing — the loss of half a million people.

No other country has counted so many deaths in the pandemic. More Americans have perished from Covid-19 than on the battlefields of World War I, World War II and the Vietnam War combined."

From the February 21, 2021, New York Times story A Ripple Effect of Loss: U.S. Covid Deaths Approach 500,000. Written by Julie Bosman.

Every morning for the past 38 years, when looking at my reflection in the mirror, it's not just my own face that I see—but also those of my parents, my childhood neighborhood of Flushing, and every Asian-American person who has paved the way in this country before my time.

Yet, even though I am the main character to my own life, so much of American film, tv, and media has perpetually shown anyone with facial features like mine as the outsider, someone whose existence depends entirely on another non-Asian character, or perhaps someone whose story does not deserve to be told at all.

Until recently, for me, this is how much of the Asian American experience has felt like. To wake up everyday and know that I am here as a full person with layers and dimension, yet to never feel fully seen.

Well, with the ongoing anti-Asian hate since the onset of the pandemic, more than ever, I think the world is ready for more Asian-American stories of all kinds.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. 

Be kind. Eradicate racism.

Instead of feeling excited for the inauguration of President-elect Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Kamala Harris next week, Americans are gripped by fear of domestic terrorism from white supremacists in this country. 

I am not shocked at the fact that these idiots exist, because every BIPOC person has their own personal experiences of having to deal with racial bigots like them. But what's most appalling is the gaslighting BIPOC people have experienced for generations—being told the racism and microaggressions we experience daily are things made up in our heads—when clearly, what happened at the Capitol Building is just one example of what those who are rooted in white supremacy get away with every damn day in America. Those assholes who mobbed the nation's capital last week? I have lived next to them. They've been my teachers and classmates. I have worked with them. I have waited on them. I have felt their hostility at bars and restaurants and other places all over NYC countless times. And to watch January 6's events unfold like that, it's beyond traumatizing. For hundreds of years, the phone call was always coming from inside the house. 

Fuck white supremacy. Black Lives Matter! 

P.S., if you are white, stop telling BIPOC people about your racist relatives because we don't give a shit, and you definitely don't get points for not being racist.

Shit is fucked up.

America's first vaccination for COVID-19 happened today, but the country also past 300,000 deaths in the pandemic.

I'm so happy 2020 is coming to an end. Like, it's finally here and just weeks away.

After posting about waking up to the wonderful smell of bacon last Saturday, I decided to get some air and go for a long walk. I was strolling down the west side around the 140s by the Hudson when at one point, I began to hear people screaming and banging pots and pans. My first thought was, hmm that's weird, it's not 7pm right now. I had put my phone on airport mode and didn't hear the news, but this was the moment when Joe Biden was announced the official winner of the presidential election. I switched my phone back to receiving messages, and saw all these texts from my friends and sisters. 

All I could do was start whooping at the top of my lungs and cheer on all of the people hanging outside of their apartments windows hollering in elation. What an incredibly joyous moment. I couldn't believe it, and felt this happiness and relief take over me. I ran back to my apartment to shower and get ready, and headed downtown by myself with no itinerary. I first went to the area around Stonewall, and omg, there were so many people there already partying it up in the streets. There was dancing and bottles of champagne popping open everywhere. Everyone was on the streets just spending this moment together, and it was so amazing. Cars passing by honked in celebration along with us, and you could feel this collective release of emotions from everyone. After four years of this fucked up and dysfunctional administration, we finally had new hope in knowing there would be an end to it all, and this very day would be day one of our new chapter.

I spent the remainder of the day walking around the city. Festivities of all kinds had popped up everywhere. Washington Square Park was friggin' lit! It was filled with people celebrating across the entire park. Next I walked further downtown and eventually ended up at Broadway and Houston. There was a huge crowd at this intersection and I could see traffic backed up in all directions. The large crowd had formed a circle and in the middle, people were dancing in jubilation and then we all started chanting support for racial justice and Black Lives Matter. I didn't realize this group was actually a march who had taken a momentary pause here. I joined them afterwards in marching down Broadway together, which had been cleared of cars for the group. Everything was so moving. We marched as the leaders guided us in more rallying cries of racial justice and residents of SoHo cheered us on from their windows with air horns and pots and pans. At one point as we were all walking south, I took a moment to take it all in. I could see all the way clear down Broadway to way more downtown, and it was so beautiful. To be there in that large mass, as we collectively celebrated together, just thinking about it again can bring me to tears. After converging at its end point of Foley Square for a bit, I headed off on my own and walked around some more.

After a long day, I came back home and luckily made it back right in time to watch Vice President-elect Kamala Harris and President-elect Joe Biden's acceptance speeches. 

Wow, what an unforgettable day.

I took a personal day from work on Monday to chill and had Election Day officially off, but it still feels like it's been a long week with emotions coming from so many sides of everything.

It's 2am on Friday during election week.

The results are still too close to call right now. Votes in Arizona, Georgia, Nevada, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania are still being counted, and I say COUNT EVERY VOTE. 

Change in America is coming, and I am so fucking excited.

270 feels so close.

Woah...

Breonna Taylor deserves justice.

All of the other things I was worrying about earlier throughout the day feels so pointless.

It's been a while since I've been excited as I am today, but Biden-Harris all the way!

The past few weeks or so.

Black Lives Matter!

"Juneteenth is the oldest-known celebration of the end of slavery in the United States. While it’s widely observed across the U.S., the holiday actually originated in Texas, marking the date in 1865 that news of the abolition of slavery reached the state (despite the fact that the Emancipation Proclamation was signed in 1863). During the two and a half year gap, slave owners kept this information hidden from slaves in order to reap the continued benefits of unpaid labor.

Juneteenth is still not recognized as a national holiday, but locally it’s celebrated with gatherings, parades, and feasts that specifically feature red foods and drinks. Barbecue, baked beans, watermelon, and red drinks such as West African Hibiscus tea, strawberry soda, punch, and lemonade made with strawberries or cherries make appearances on park and backyard tables around the U.S. every year."

From the Thrillist story "Where to Find Red Velvet Cake in NYC, Just in Time for Juneteenth." By Kristen Adaway.

Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter.

Dear blog,

do you also sob?

Where the injustices of the world,

makes your heart throb?

"Ahmaud Arbery was a human being, a person, a man with a family and a future, who loved and was loved. The McMichaels took all of that away on a glorious Sunday afternoon in February. Who knows what Arbery could have become. He was young, his life a buffet of possibilities. Friday would have been his 26th birthday."

From the May 6, New York Times Op-Ed: The Killing of Ahmaud Arbery. Written by Charles M. Blow.

Ahmaud Arbery was murdered on February 23. Black Lives Matter!

Turkey tomorrow.