With the temperature here in New York City starting to become warmer, it was nice to actually be out of my apartment today and walking around. 

It probably wasn't just due to the winter weather, but I feel like I've been in hibernation mode for the past 10 months or so. I've gone out every so often during this time period, but for the most part if I wasn't with my two best friends or at an obligation I had to attend, I spent a lot of the time plopped on my couch, eating in stretchy pants. Going out just got really tiresome, and vegetating at home far away from crowds and strangers felt so nice. I started working service jobs in the restaurant industry a long time ago, but a lengthy stretch of last year was especially exhausting because I was doing it 7 days a week, with a lot of that time being on my feet. Any opportunity to relax at home became such a luxury and I milked it for all that I could. The last thing I ever wanted to do was be at some crowded bar or restaurant, and so my apartment transformed into a safe space for me to decompress away from the world. 

I mean yes, essentially any true home should provide that, but moderation is key. After I eventually stopped working 7 days a week, constantly staying in slowly mutated into hiding away from the world. But it was only from walking around for hours today that helped me finally realize that. Not being in my twenties also has had a large part of my evolution of becoming a homebody, but that doesn't mean I should shut myself away from society at such an extreme. In my lifetime, I've spent way too many years at home just eating and watching tv, and then eating some more and watching tv again.

I met my friend Judy today around noon at Fort Greene Park. It felt really nice to be there because I've become used to this stale routine of always being in the same neighborhoods at the same times of day. I'm usually either at my place in the Financial District, around the Flatiron District for work, or if I'm at all out with friends, it's most likely in the East Village or somewhere else nearby downtown. Being in Brooklyn during the daytime today with so many people out and about helped me recall what I've been missing out on during my months of always doing the same exact shit.

We spent a good chunk of time at the park, catching up on stuff while people watching. Afterwards we stopped by the Brooklyn Flea before getting some food close by on Fulton Street. By this point I was feeling good from all the fresh air and change in scenery, so when I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen for years in the restaurant we were eating at, it all just felt so right. The fact that this friend lives in Los Angeles and was only in town for a short while made it feel all the more auspicious. Judy and I parted ways after we ate and I decided to take advantage of the remainder of the day by walking to DUMBO, and then finally heading home by foot from there over the Brooklyn Bridge.

Right now in my life, one thing I have to keep reminding myself of is that going out should not always have to equate to eating at a restaurant or getting plastered at a bar. Working in so many busy service industry jobs that had me busting my ass during shifts sometimes makes it hard to remember that going out can consist of a million other things, especially in this city. Because for a while it seemed like being out meant being at work in a restaurant, and being out at a restaurant seemed like being at work.

In a way it feels great that I've outgrown going out to only eat or get drunk all the time, since that was basically my all of my twenties. But at 32 now, I've got to discover new ways of being outside the house while feeling somewhat productive in whatever way possible and not like I'm getting sucked into the same behavior. It's time to at least try to break out of my comfort zone in a smart and sensible way, because now that I'm in my thirties, it just seems like the natural route to go down.

Below are some pics from my gorgeous Saturday today.

this past weekend in nyc was finally sunny and beautiful. i was dog-sitting again so i thought it'd be fun to go the park in dumbo. it felt nice to get some rays and enjoy the summer weather. woo-fucking-hoo.

spending the first night in a new apartment is always a weird feeling. i keep glancing out my window and it's odd how all my surroundings seem so unfamiliar. i know that in a week or two, this place will feel like home but tonight is my first night and i feel like a stranger in someone else's house. DUMBO is a great neighborhood though. after two months of thinking and worrying about my next apartment and where i'm going to live, it feels so good to finally settle in and know that i won't have to think about moving for awhile (at least i hope not). i walked around the area today and there's so many great little shops and other things to do. the view of the east river is absolutely breathtaking at times and the river cafe and the brooklyn ice cream factory is a short walk away. i'm hoping to take advantage of the great view by going for a run tomorrow. the cobblestone streets might be a killer on my feet, but we'll see how it goes. after that, i've definitely got to go and find an air conditioner for my room. once i get that, i'll be all set.

i've decided that i want my life to be completely different than how it is. i feel pretty unhappy about a lot of things, and it's time for some major, major changes. what that means is i'm going to be fucking up and making lots of mistakes but i don't care because those are my mistakes to make and i know whatever lesson i learned from it would have been worth it.

one change is, i'm moving out of queens. yes, it is time for me to move onto another borough. i found this tiny shithole of a room in an apartment in DUMBO and starting on august, i will officially be a resident of brooklyn. i know i'm probably getting stiffed on the rent, but honestly i'm too exhausted to keep looking for fucking apartments. finding a place to live in nyc is hell sometimes, especially if you're broke as fuck.

i just had my one week vacation and have to go back into the office in like 7 hours. i'm having heart palpitations thinking about all the unread emails that are sitting in my inbox and all the voicemails waiting to be listened to.

this month has been sort of stressful, and because of work, my living situation, financial issues, partying, and pure laziness (yes, i know i was a lazy fuck), i've gained 12 pounds. i know that it is completely my fault, but am not worried because i plan to kick myself back into gear and start working out and eating healthy again.

i realized that my life is what i make it, and i have to figure out my own route to happiness and stability. i think that the next few years are going to very challenging, but i'm excited to see all the shit that will happen and the things i'll learn. i hope that in the future when i'm reading back on this entry, i'll chuckle at how my life used to be and realize all the changes i've been through.