it's 3 am and i can't sleep.

went to the doctor today for an annual check up. among many things- i was able to: finally get my balls checked, submit my blood to get some tests done, and talked about my insmonia. i told him i've had sleeping issues since i was in junior high school. my doctor suggested i stop stressing about things and i should be able to sleep better. how exactly am i supposed to go about doing that? i need to move out at the end of april. moving is annoying. i'm tired of living with strangers. i have no idea what i'm going to do. i'm living one day at a time. the gym is boring, i enjoy running outdoors instead. i need to buy new running sneakers. i am so broke. buying halal food is a splurge. eating at rare work events is what i look forward to or else it's yogurt/miso soup/tofu for me. being poor is the best diet supplement ever! i can't believe it's past 3 and i can't sleep. i want to call in sick tomorrow. work is okay. all i can do is envision my future, but i'm still not sure what that is. i feel so lonely. i need companionship. last friday night, i realized that are some things that you don't even want to tell your best friend. some things are better left unknown. i need to get some sleep in order to function tomorrow.

i went to the gym today after not having worked out in like 3 weeks. wow- i feel completely exhausted right now, i can't even speak. but damn it felt good to sweat. also one thing i learned today, one of the best things to work out to is American Gladiators on nbc. holy fuck, Helga is intsense, i love it!

after the gym, my friend junho drove me to the local 24 hour supermarket in Astoria called Trade Fair, and i did some grocery shopping. grocery shopping is so much fun. i'm trying to buy only healthy stuff and what not, but i spoiled myself with two banquet tv dinners at $.99 each. i'll save those for a rainy day when i'm craving hot food. one is fried chicken and the other is chicken fried steak with gravy.

i know it's only monday, but so far i'm doing okay on my whole spending $20 on cash throughout the week plan. lunch time is the hardest because i absolutely fucking love halal food, and the smell of chicken over rice with extra white sauce just makes me salivate (i'm literally salivating as i write this). but i was good today and ate my healthy food that i bought from home. we'll see how the rest of the week goes.

i didn't go to the park today for a run. instead i went to the gym, and boy was i glad i went.

i have a 2nd interview on monday with a national magazine. i'd be working in the photo department, but making only $7.15 an hour, and it's only until december. hmm, we'll see how that goes.