It's nice to be home in comfortable stretchy pants doing absolutely nothing.

While I enjoy going out and having a good meal every now and then, or grabbing a drink at a low-key spot with friends, I'm equally happy sitting on my ass at home. Years of wandering, couch crashing and basically living like a drifter has helped me truly appreciate staying in. I've been watching too much television though, and need to curb that more. But it's so mindless and numbingly distracting and sometimes I just don't want to use my brain.

I recently started working at a new job that I'm really enjoying. After getting laid off 5 years ago from an epicurean magazine, almost every job since has been at a restaurant or bar, so it's really refreshing to transition back to an office gig. Waiting tables and working mostly service-related jobs taught me so much, and now I'm ready to apply all my experience and learned knowledge into this new position. I really feel so humbled to be working with such kind and professional people, and am forever grateful to my bosses for believing in me and taking a chance on me.

While I'm not working at an actual restaurant or bar at this new gig, it is still within the New York City restaurant and bar world. I feel proud to have worked my way through the industry to get where I am now, and I love everything about it. This industry is home to me, and running into old coworkers or acquaintances all the time makes it all that more feel like this is where I belong.

life never ceases to amaze me. is this how things are until you die? when i'm an old man, will i still be shocked at the stuff i'll be dealing with in my life then? i'm just always at awe at all the good and bad things that people are forced to deal with---but i guess it keeps you on your ties and life interesting.

anyway, i got the job. i am an official runner for the restaurant, woohoo. i feel like this is the right job for my life at this moment so i'm okay with everything. plus, it's like the only restaurant i even would want to work at in nyc so i feel lucky to be there. it still doesn't feel like work though when i'm there. i feel like i'm just going through some weird phase and living someone else's life but i guess that's with every new job---it takes time to get used to. one thing about the job that i am having trouble adjusting to is the schedule. it's currently 6:30 AM in nyc and i'm still up doing nothing. i'm not sure if anyone's noticed but i usually blog now at random hours because it's hard to regulate your body without a consistent schedule. i do have to say that i'm proud of myself for getting hired. i was persistent and worked my ass off and it all paid off. life takes you on these paths that are so new and unfamiliar that it's so easy to feel like you're lost---but in actuality everything happens for a reason and this is where you're meant to be at this very moment. "everything happens for a reason." i live by those words, it's what keeps me going through my life right now and i sincerely believe in the adage.

bills + rent + no money + more bills + looking for work + historically disastrous economy + lack of income + confusion of being in my 20's + more bills + "what the hell am i going to do with my life" = ABSOLUTE STRESS.

time is such a blur when you have nothing to do everyday.

life is too short to be stressed out all the time. i am so grateful for everything that is going on in my life right now, the good and the bad. i need to stay positive.

i need to focus and be productive with my time and my life in general. i got laid off for a reason and am adamant on using this period to figure out my next steps in life. the unknown is scary but so exciting at the same time.

things are amazing.

i still need to find a job though.

i'm not sure how to tell my parents that i got laid off.

i usually call my parents at least 3 times a week from my office around lunchtime. the calls are usually brief, but it gives us enough time to catch up and to basically let them know that i'm still alive and doing okay. it's funny because my mom always talks about how proud she is of me, and how she's always showing off to the customers at her store that her son is working for x magazine and doing x with his life. i know they won't be mad at me for getting laid off, but i know they'll just be very disappointed and distraught in general about the situation.

fuck, who knows what the hell will happen.

oh, life...

this entry deserves a title.

i got laid off this morning.

i then decided to treat myself by going to balthazar for eggs benedict and a bellini as i read over my sendoff package from human resources.

oh life --- you're always keeping me on my toes.