blah14

the weather outside looks amazing and i'm probably going to go out soon. i'm torn between going into the office to get some work done, or just doing some shit i need to get done. because i figure i'll be working a lot this week anyway, so i might as well enjoy my days off. BUT, i know i have a lot to do and going in today to do some stuff would help with my workload tomorrow.

so yesterday was pretty fun. went to this fun housewarming/ fundraiser thing with a few friends. i was reluctant to go because i'm not really comfortable at those kid of places, but it turned out to be fun. initially i wanted to leave because there were so many people, but after it thinned out a little, things got better.

afterwards went to a friend's bday party in the city at this place called Prey. man, that place really sucks. it was so damn crowded and the music there really sucks. my friend got a bottle of johnny but i was still too fucked from the night before so i opted not to drink.

after prey my friends wanted to come over to my office and watch korean music videos so we were there till like 3 in the morning pigging out on food and just hanging out.

my life is pretty boring.

blah13

man i had a rough night yesterday. drank way too fucking much, yuck!

i haven't been this hungover in a real long time. so i woke up today and even though i have no recollection of it, i apparently barfed on my floor right by my bed. i woke up to a big heap of throwup that i had to clean.

yeah, time to ease up on the bottle again.

Mirror

What in life really matters?

All the stressing that you do on a daily basis, will it really matter?

I don't know. I'm not trying to cop out from my job or anything, but what the hell is all of this ever going to matter in my life? Maybe it's the principal of having diligence in doing all things you're supposed to get done, but sometimes I wonder about the point of half the things I do.

blah12

last night was pretty crazy. went to 4 different places and ended up at Camel to finish off the night. i had a lot of fun, i think i drank too much. seriously woke up hungover this morning.

today has been such a lazy ass sunday. it's not even 9 but i want to sleep soon.

losing control

my friend's picking me up in about 25 minutes to go to the city for my friend jess' bday. we're having dinner at sapa and then probably heading over to koreatown for a few drinks and maybe go party.

shit, okay gotta go get ready.

blah11

damn, haven't had enough time to come here and blog for a few days.

mmm i swear i always think of all these great anecdotes and funny stories to write about that's happened to me, but yeah, can't think of any at the moment.

soo, i'll write about saturday night. my channel had this joint party and man it was crazy. well first of all, on sat i was up early and left my house by 10 to run errands alllllll day. seriously, running back and forth to get the flyers printed at kinkos, other work related things for the party, and also i met up with my friend from school because we're writing an investigative paper together. we went to jackson heights to do some reporting, and man, that in itself was crazy.

basically, our story is about fake IDs, and jackson heights is like the #1 destination in the east coast for people who want fake IDs, passports, greencards, whatever. so there's me and my friend who's this cute girl and when we went to all these places to get things, everyone thought we were narcs. but we did manage to hook up with these sketchy ass people who wanted to take us to this room to show us the IDs, but we realized that it was getting too dangerous. yeah, i felt extremely paranoid and knew we were being watched, either by other sketchy people on the team of people who make fake IDs, or by the cops who are always patrolling that neighborhood.

yeah, it was a great experience.

anyway, off to read.

"she works hard for her money..." damn right i do!

work work work work work work work. yayyyyyy.

was at the office until 2 am today, getting some shit done. blah. we did some interviews today for staff and theres so many people who want to work for the company. yeah, i guess i feel lucky to have my job.

but i have absolutely no time for anything else. cant even fucking to to jack spade to buy that new bag i want.

we have all these auditions tomorrow for on air people. should be interesting, gonna enjoy watching the people squirm.

"mmm what, what was i talking about?"

throughout the days i always think of so many things to blog about for when i come home. but then i get home and i've forgotten everything and no longer feel like writing, i hate that.

anyway, i recieved my company email and phone number today, so that was exciting, on top of everything else.

tomorrow is wednesday, and then the weekend is just around the corner. wow. time flies.

blah10

been such a busy busy day. i knew this job wouldn't be easy. ugh. i dont know.

anyway, tired, just got home. it's going to be a long 2 months.

blah9

i got a haircut today. it's back to my usualy short length, i look and feel much cleaner.

blah8

you know it's taking longer than i expected for me to adpat to the New York Times' new website. i find myself automatically X-ing my safari when i'm on it. all the stories seem so hard to find on it. and i'm not that interested in watching video clips. hopefully i'll get used to it soon.

so i just talked to my friend in alaska. he's probably my oldest friend, i've know him for ten years now. it's weird bc we talk only once or twice a year, but whenever we do it's so fucking natural and it's like we've been hanging out everyday. i say that's how you can tell who a true friend it. i told him about my new job, and that my plans to go back and visit him alaska are now not realistic since i'm tied dow to work.

i just finished writing up some work for this focus group i'm throwing for our channel. ugh, so much to do. but, "Happy happy!" that's what my boss says when he produces shows. before he yells action, he always says "HAPPY HAPPY!" to the talent. haha i love it.

anyhoo. that is all for today.

i can not wait until the weekend. now i realize why the weekend is so damn important. i actually kind of want to go out and have some fun, just because i feel like i need to relieve some stress. but you know what, we'll see...

blah 7

you know i wish i was really creative enough to come up with a catchy title for each entry i make, but im just too lazy.

well aside from that, today i had a meeting with a few of the top people from the network and it has been confirmed, i will be the programming director. in fact, immediately after the meeting, my workload has started. its crazy. im thinking of getting a blackberry because i'm sure that i will live off email from now on, it will be an imperative part of my life.

after work i went to koreatown and had dinner with my sister. i thought about coming out to her,but i don't think neither one of us are ready to deal with it. i know im not, even though i wish i was, and i know she's not. yeah.

its crazy because i still have class to go to... and i dont know how im going to manage everything until the end of the semester. im scared. even for tom morning, i have a ton of reading to do, on top of work stuff. this is definitely going to be a stressful time in my life.

after dinner with my sister, one of my good friends picked me up from the city and drove me home. i was so grateful because i'm beyond exhausted. i woke up at 5:30 this morning to go do my laundry before i went to work. i like doing laundry in the morning sometimes. no ones ever at the laundromat, and it's a bit serene there. i guess since i did write a whole fucking paper on my laundromat, it does hold a special place in my heart. pretty corny, huh? a fucking laundromat holding a special place in my life, haha.

okay on a side note, i realize i'm already starting to bitch too much about work. i'll try and keep that to a minimum.

with what's coming in the months ahead, i think one of the things that will be most upsetting is my reading time. i usually like to read as much as possible during the week, and i realize i have no leisure time for that anymore. whenever i can be reading a book or magazine, i can be reading documents and other work related stuff. all my New Yorkers and New York magazines will have to be put aside for the next 3 months.

hmmm

so i woke up today feeling totally nauseous. ever since i was told the news yesterday, i'm constantly nauseous and always on the verge of throwing up. well, at least i feel like throwing up. i had breakfast today at my house and on my bus ride to main street, i felt like i was going to puke everywhere. at work today i felt all day that someone was going to come up to me and tell me that there was some mistake that's been made. that i was wrongly promoted, and that i should forget everything i've been told. honestly if that happened i would be relieved, and kind of happy. but of course it didn't. anyway, i was on the bus coming home today and i realized that i shouldn't be so nervous. i thought about new bus drivers, and how nervous they must be on their first days on the job. they're responsible for the lives of every person that on their bus, and that's a lot to handle. then i tried to think of other jobs that hold more responsibility, and if they fucked up, then the consequences would be more dire than getting canned. well, there's a million of them, i'm sure you can think of some yourself. work today didn't feel any different than any other day. that's because other than one person in the office, no one really knows about my promotion, or at least i don't think they do because no one's said anything to me or seems to be acting different. also, since everyone still assumes i will forever be an intern, they're still givin me the same work as always. however, **** did not talk to me all day. it's not like she went out of her way to not talk to me, but there were a few opportunities where she could have but didn't. i on the other hand said hi and bye to her because her desk is right by the door, and i have to pass her when coming in and out. so, i have a meeting tomorrow at ten, then one at eleven. and plus i have to wake up at like 5:30 in the morning to go do my laundry before i leave my house. ugh... the life.

blah 6

i have work tomorrow and i totally forgot that i have this report type thing to do for one of my bosses. thing is, we're trying to come up with the *CENSORED* logo, and he just me what the channel had come up with so far. i looked at them and only about 1 or 2 were really good, but other people in the office who aren't korean didn't like them. but as a korean american myself, i thought they were worthy of being the channel's logo. but yeah, my boss gave me the logos to take home and think about what would make it better. and i didn't even think about that shit until right now, and i don't feel like doing it so im kind of fucked.

yeah, i have about a month left at *CENSORED* and still haven't decided if i'm planning to stay or not. my wishes of getting the fuck out of nyc for the summer get weaker and weaker, realizing i have nowhere to really go. so yeah... sucks. ahh! i don't know, i really dont wanna stay but we'll see. and even if i do stay, i dont know if i wanna stay at *CENSORED*. its too much fucking work. yeah its cool to be there, but its not my passion so we'll see.

hip hop chow

ugh. just got home from a shoot about an hour ago. fucking was there from 10:30 to 7:30. so damn tired.

we went to this new restaurant off st. marks called Hip Hop Chow. the place is sort of like a mixture of soul food, southern food, and chinese food. the food there is amazing, soo fucking good. they have these scallops and babyback ribs with hoison sauce that just falls apart in your mouth off the bone. and the owner/head chef was pretty cool. he seems young and is one of the nicest guys ever. yeah, but we were there for so fucking long, i wanted to kill myself.

and god, i can't even begin to describe all the crazy and rude people there are out there. seriously, we're fucking trying to shoot a show and some fuckers just don't want to let us. one guy came up to our cameraman with this camcorder in his hand and he got about 3 inches from our cameraman's face and started to film him. we told him to fuck off but he just wouldn't go away, no joke. someone had to like push him off to the side and tell him to go fuck himself. and even during all this, he's trying to film that guy and thinks he's all funny and shit. so he finally leaves, and when he does he runs as fast as he can for some reason and then my boss comes back and said that 1, the guy reeked of alcohol, and 2, that the camcorder he has wasn't even on and looked like it was broken. WTF. seriously, crazy ass people in this city.

i've yet to tell any friends about this blog.