"Stay in my arms.
Dance with me."

From the song Human Being by Robyn.

"I've tidied up my point of view,
I got a new attitude."

From the song New Attitude by Patti LaBelle.

"Somehow, the wires uncrossed.
My tables were turned.
Never knew I had such a lesson to learn."

From the song New Attitude by Pattie LaBelle. 

"I said to my reflection, 'let's get out of this place.'"

From the song Tempted 1994 by Squeeze. 

Unnecessary.

Bad advice,
wrong decisions.
Sad to do it twice,
false precision.

I need some really good advice.

“Thinkin of a master plan.”

From the song Paid In Full by Eric B. and Rakim.

I went out to eat with my friends Judy and Junho on Sunday. Junho had just returned from a long and leisurely trip, and Judy was still coming off a really busy work season. That was reason enough for us to meet up in the day and have some good ass diner food.

The three of us just blah blahed about this and talked about that. And then I thought this one thing that came up was pretty funny. It was that both of them hadn’t realized that I still write in this blog. I mean, first of all, rude! But second of all, I see where they were coming from.

So the weather is still pretty warm, and I’ve been wearing shorts almost everyday. I’m grateful wearing them is not a big deal at my job. I always pair them with a long sleeve button-down shirt closed to the top so I appear somewhat presentable. But I’ll wear shorts for as long as I can right now. Anything to lighten my laundry haul since I no longer live somewhere that has a washer-dryer. Yup, after years away, I’m back in the laundromat game. For the past two years, I lived in an apartment that had one within the unit. And then for years before that, I lived in places that had them somewhere within the building.

I have so many memories of going to laundromats growing up. I remember in high school waking up at 5am to go to wash my clothes before school started. Oddly, I also used to go to laundromats a lot on my birthday, which is something I remembered after reading back on this blog. Also the laundromat near my old Flushing house was the first place I ever interviewed someone to write a story, which is also another thing I remembered only after reading back on this blog. But going back to a laundromat again right now has been just like riding a bicycle. I am in and out as quickly as possible, and there’s not much else to it.

Was that today?

Single Thought Stories
Caring for Everyone.
Always Not Having Fun.
Tearing Up What’s Been Done.
What’s Next to Come?

Dwell,
and feel like hell.

Tell,
and be swell.

Yell,
and we’ll rell.

And for rell,
it’s not a big dell.

Through food.

We’re cut from the same word.

"Today is the greatest,
Day I've ever known."

From the song Today by Smashing Pumpkins.

Scratching until bleeding. It feels so good at first.

Have you ever just wanted to rub your eyes for an entire hour because it feels so good?

Work Hard, Scroll Hard.

“All told, Lady M has accused Mr. Lliviganay of stealing 1,020 cakes worth $89,250.”

From the September 9, 2019, NYT article Worker Stole $90,000 in ‘Lady M’ Cakes and Resold Them, Lawsuit Says. By Michael Gold.

Wow, that guy is in deep shit. All over cakes. But Lady M is pretty damn good so I also get it.

I want to cook.
I want to love.
I want a book,
and all of the above.

Tae’s tea.
Tasty.

Everything feels so different.

Do shit.

Douche it.

"Um, I thought you were Mary Poppins, but you're more Mary Poppin's off."

Said by the character Jade McKellan in the Netflix show Family Reunion. Season 1, Episode 1.

Smell.
Small.

Let's laugh. Like, all the time.

I kain't.

Have you ever been at an event with mostly gay men, and then realized you're the only person in the room not wearing chunky sneakers?

I need to get my shit together.

Hello, life.

I'm still here.

All it takes is one good meme to have you smiling before bedtime.

Sweet dreamz.

Life is just chugging along.

Still okay.

I went to the post office to send my old college friend Magali something in Texas. Along with what I wanted to mail her, I had brought along some blank note cards with me so I could include a short message with her stuff. I was planning to buy an envelope for the packaging there at the post office and then quickly write her a message before getting in line to pay for everything. But then as I stood there at a side counter with a pen in hand (my own of course and not one of those chained down), and began to write "Dear Magali," I realized how novel it felt to have this contraption within my grips. It was like my hand didn't know what to do. I ripped up my first attempt because I hated how the handwriting of those two words came out, and then the same happened for the second attempt. My third attempt got me a little farther with a couple of more sentences, but I abruptly stopped soon after while thinking I just can't do this. I ended up sending her the stuff without a message or note at all, which felt weird but also okay for 2019.

"For the first few million years after the sun's birth, there are no worlds to see it rise."

From the PBS show The Planets. Episode Inner Worlds.

"I never knew love like this before."

From the song Never Knew Love Like this Before by Stephanie Mills.

We need a word for that.

"Within the densest fog and darkest black, you can find clarity and color if your imagination is 20-20."

From the July 6th, 2019, New York Times opinion piece Writing With Your Eyes Closed. By Frank Bruni.

"The sweet things in life, 

to you were just loaned.
So how can you lose what you've never owned?
Life is just a bowl of cherries,
so live and laugh at it all."

From the song Life Is Just a Bowl of Cherries by Judy Garland.

Holding hands.

I’m obsessed with the show Pose, and it’s inspired me to start my own house. I've decided it'll be named The House of Carbonara, and its primary purpose is to eat pasta while watching the show.

"That dress is so pretty, it makes my stomach hurt."

Said by Megan in the movie Bridesmaids.

It is such a beautiful and glorious Sunday in NYC today.

Think yes.
Totes yuck.
Tell you.
This year.
That's yum.
Text ya.
Then yell.
They're young.
Toss yesterday.
Thank you.

Mistakes made in slow motion reveal consequences at an unforgiving speed.

Deliberate.
Deliver it.

Pardon, but I have a 14-part question.

It was fun to dog-sit Oscar for a day over the weekend.

Happy Pride!

It's June, and that means there are a ton of LGBTQ events going on this month in celebration. I attended Queens Pride last Sunday in Jackson Heights, and that was lots of fun. I've been going to it on and off for a while now and love its crowd and vibe. Being there just feels like home in so many ways. For this past week's, I watched some of the performances and walked around a bit, and eventually ended up grabbing some food alone at the nearby UFC chicken. Luckily, I was already sitting there with my food and a beer by the time that sudden downpour came towards the early evening. It had been a while since I'd been to that UFC, too, so being there at that moment with dry socks and fried stuff as I parched my thirst with a cold one felt pretty damn good. The restaurant isn't that big, and a family of four ended up sitting next to me after I'd had already gotten my food. It was a mom, dad, young son, and grandma. From the moment that the father and son first came in ahead to get a table, they brought this burst of energy that moved me. I basically began to eavesdrop immediately and didn't stop until I left. The dad seemed really outgoing and had this loud voice that was especially nice to hear because he was so sweet to his son. I'm guessing the kid was around 9 years old, and the dad was totally making jokes with him and the workers. I appreciated that. When the mom and grandma came in afterwards, the four of them together just made total sense to me. They just seemed like a real family, and their love for each other was so apparent. And what had me was the fact that each one of them was engaging in multiple conversations with one another. Stories about other family members that related to something learned were discussed as a group, and then there would be these separate criss-crossing back and forths among the four of them. Their dynamic just pulled me in. They talked about a lot of different things, and the mom even complimented the waiter on his haircut, which he reacted to with gratitude and surprise. The grandma also talked about how she'd made her kids clean the house with her and their father when they were younger. This was so they could use the $100 they saved by doing it themselves to eat together as a family at a restaurant afterwards. There was even a moment when I got to interact with them, which totally made my day. I knew they were super hungry because the topic of their excitement for the food came up after their order was taking a while. When they saw the server bring another dish of mine I had ordered, they ravenously asked about what it was and mentioned how good it looked. When their food eventually did come, it was a few dozen wings in this sauce, a few dozen wings in another sauce, and more fried chicken upon plates and plates of food. It's like, this family really knows how to enjoy themselves and go out to eat, and I loved seeing every minute of it. After I finished my beers and fried chicken, I wished them a great evening as I got up from my table to leave. It was sunny again by the time I stepped out onto the street to head back home on the subway. I don't think I could've asked for a better start to Pride month.

Inhale, exhale x 100.

Fake chewing.

There's free food in Conference Room 2.

"Can I handle the seasons of my life?"

From the song Landslide by Fleetwood Mac.

"You will know."

From the song Dreams by Fleetwood Mac.

"Now here you go again, 

you say,

you want your freedom."

From the song Dreams by Fleetwood Mac.

Why’d I.
Wide eyed.

Nonchalant.

"According to the American market research firm Datassential, Korean ingredients like kimchi, which is traditionally buried underground and left to ferment for months, now appear on 5.5 percent of menus in the United States, a jump of 59 percent in the past five years — particularly noteworthy since Americans of Korean descent constitute less than two-thirds of a percent of the total population."

From the May 14, 2019, New York Times article "How Sourness Has Come to Dominate Our Dining Habits, and Our Discourse." By Ligaya Mishan.

"Making lists of ideas, reading novels, scheduling time to sit down at your computer, researching new coffee shops at which to work, and establishing weekly word goals may seem like parts of writing, but they are not. They are procrastination, which, if you think about it, is actually writing in its purest form."

From the May 8, 2019, Daily Shouts of The New Yorker titled "What Is Writing and Does This Count as It?" By Mia Mercado.

"But for the first time, I don’t have a plan, besides to take care of myself."

From the May 3, 2019, Healthyish article "Christina Lecki On Leaving Reynard and What She's Doing Next." By Priya Krishna.

Impact.

"When you look to successful people you admire, study them not only for their victories and achievements, but also for how they overcame failures and changed as a result of them."

From the April 21, 2019, New York Times article "Why ‘Find Your Passion’ Is Such Terrible Advice." By Stephanie Lee.

Write what you want.
Eat what you want.

Word of the week: JOY

Still got it.

"Your love is holding on and it won't let go,
I feel it breaking out like an echo."

From the song Echo by Elevation Worship.

"I've decided I'm not giving up."

From the song Echo by Elevation Worship.

Plead.
Please.

"We were raised to really respect all religions and all peaceful people."

Said by Patricia Arquette in her April 29, 2019 episode of WHYY-FM's Fresh Air.

Food family.

I just discovered the Focus button on the bottom of Microsoft Word docs. And wow, my mind is blown.