Is there anything more beautiful than a blank sheet of paper that's been covered with words?

My brain keeps telling me it's mid-June.

These two baby kittens were recently just discovered in the backyard of where I live. 

They're still so fragile and can't be more than a few weeks old. Any caregiver or parent of theirs is nowhere to be found, so my roommates and I have been trying to make sure they stay nourished and healthy.

Aren't they so adorable?

"Well I know what's right---
I got just one life.
In a world that keeps on pushing me around,
I stand my ground."

From the song I Won't Back Down by Tom Petty.

Tell me something I don't know.

You can cry on my shoulder.

"But the heart that I brought was what people felt, and my ability to be myself. The lesson that that taught me, and has taught me over the years: anybody pretending to be anything other than who you really are, you will never ever reach your personal potential."

From Oprah Presents Master Class on the OWN Network.

Sometimes the universe gives you these amazing gems at 12:10 in the afternoon when you're just channel surfing and trying to figure out some things in your life.

This song will always remind me of you.

Somebody pass the chill pills.

Good morning.

Make today matter.

The wedding of my roommates this past weekend was the first that I've attended in years, and it's got me doing a lot of thinking about life and relationships.

I'm 30 years old and have yet to ever be in a serious relationship... I mean, I don't know what it is. I'm a good person, and I've tried to sincerely meet others... but I must be some sort of un-dateable outcast or something.

I'm still trying to figure out what it's all about.

Humility.

I lost count on how many times I called myself a loser today.

"I heard it all before.
I heard it all before.
I heard it all before.
I heard it all before.
I heard it all before."

From the song Sorry by Madonna.

It's funny when you first meet someone and think they're totally normal, but then you realize they're really weird.

This song reminds me of you.

"What's another sunny day
without you?
Just another 24
that passes by."

From the song Sunny Day by Brandy.

It sure is hard to get a date around here.

"Life is short."

It's funny how I've heard this adage a number of times in the past 24 hours.

Yes, life is short---so let's live it.

Magazines are the best.

Staying in all day makes me obsess over food.

I need to do some walking on my days off but there's nowhere to even go...

The proof is in the pudding.

LA is not a city for loners.

I want to feel...

LA = helicopters galore.

Songs are memories, and it's not always going to be the right moment to relive things.

"We say goodbye in the pouring rain,
And I break down as you walk away.
Stay, stay.
'Cause all my life I've felt this way,
But I could never find the words to say.
Stay, stay."

From the song Stay by Hurts.

"Dear God,
I'm writing this letter to You
'Cause I don't have a clue
Can You help me?"

From the song Letter to God by Hole.

It's interesting how it's so normal to walk by any house or down any street in LA to get whiffs of marijuana being so openly smoked.

Ahh, medicinal marijuana...

Good morning.

Time sure flies.

Here's an old video from March 2011 that I made for my sister. It was after an overnight bus ride from Bangkok to Nong Khai, and I was on the search for some breakfast.

I can't remember what I ended up eating though.

Be conscious of how you define yourself.

Never before in life have I ever appreciated bags of frozen vegetables as much as I do now.

And butter. Lots and lots of butter.

I just want to eat and eat, and then eat and eat on top of eating some more.

The weather in LA has definitely been getting noticeably hotter. It's like you step outside and can already feel the sun starting to burn your skin.  

I started taking public transportation here, and it's been great because I feel like gained some freedom back into my life. Depending on other people for rides is something I just have always hated, so riding public transportation growing up back in NYC is just what I'm used to. Exploring by bus out here in Los Angeles has been really good for me. It's really given me the ability to survey the city and get a better sense of its energy. And thankfully, I live in a somewhat central part of town and have been able to figure out how to get to Hollywood, Venice, Little Tokyo, and other spots from where I am. It's funny though because when I did finally get myself to take the bus out here for the very first time, a thought crossed my mind as I sat at a window seat by myself. Sitting down and staring out the window as the bus revved along under me felt so comfortable and familiar, and in a way I just felt like my self again. (Yeah, I know I'm a loser). The last time I had been on a city bus was back in Bangkok, and over there I was completely independent. Things are a bit different out here in LA, and there's definitely no way for me to get around comfortably to where I want to go to without a car. I mean, I accept that about it here and acknowledge that I'm the loser who's waiting for the bus. But still, taking the bus allows me to get to work and some other random places, and I'm grateful for that. There's also this car service app that my friend introduced me to, so it's nice to have options I guess. One thing however that I am experiencing for the first time is that the lack of tall buildings and trees in LA---except for the Downtown area---doesn't provide any shade. The clear blue background creates nice stark lines in the sky, but my skin however is more tan than it ever was even back in Bangkok. You know, I'm starting to appreciate and understand LA more, but one thing is that I'm not the type of person who needs to see the sun every day. But on most days, you wake up and bam, there it is again. 

Here's to the blue skies of Los Angeles.

"Take me out tonight
Where there's music and there's people
And they're young and alive."

From There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths.

This is for you, LA.

"A mind so complex.
It's breaking her neck.
She think she's a car driving to its own wreck."

From the song Girl by Frente!

Things that I'm certain of right now:

• Sometimes, there's just no time (or point in) bullshitting. 
• I've truly learned my lesson. Trying to date and meet people online or through apps will never work for me. My effort was always sincere, but it's time to really just move on and stop with it. I just can't deal with interacting like that with people I've never met in real life before. There's just too many who act and represent themselves in ways that are annoying to put up with.
• A long fun night of dancing and release is very much needed.
• I really need to converse and connect. 
• The sense of warmth from another body is something that seems hard to recall nowadays.
• That ultimately, some things are just so pointless.

It feels SO DAMN great to finally have a job and work again.

Thank you, L.A.!

Kyung-Ah noona was just in town from Seoul for work.

It was great catching up with her at a fun Jamaican-inspired restaurant near Venice Beach called Sunny Spot.

I love words.

Patience.

There's always enough goodness and positivity to go around for everyone.

The ability to get married should be my right.

When my body wants to stay awake, all I can do is go along for the exhausting ride.

I was able to check out Venice Beach for the first time today. 

Any grown ass adult who deliberately tries to act cute always seems to accomplish the exact opposite.

"Maybe it's her countenance, every bit the cat who got the cream."

From the article, Cult of Cara, by Frances Kan in the April 2013 issue of Vogue.

It's such a sunny and beautiful Sunday morning here in LA.

"What kind of fuckery is this?"

From the song Me & Mr. Jones by Amy Winehouse. 

Content does not equal news or facts.

Show me the facts.

Hi.

"We can fly away... fly away together like in the movies and shit."

From the song After Love by Clazziquai.

"I'm out for Presidents to represent me,
I'm out for Dead Presidents to represent me."

From the song Dead Presidents II by Jay-Z featuring Nas.

Crazy ain't cute.

"I was freein' my hair."

From the song Hair by Lady Gaga.

It's all bullshit.

"하루 하루
조금씩 나아질거애."

From the song 비밀의 화원 by 이상은.

Words can't describe how much I miss eating Bangkok's street food on a daily basis.

Here I am taking refuge from a downpour with the warm goodness of Thai food a few years ago while still living in the country's capital.

Relevancy.

Picking up the pieces of your life sometimes takes time.

It's just you and me...

Sigh.

Chuckle.

Sigh.

Chuckle.

Small things can trigger major issues.

Food always tastes so much better when it's cooked in an oven.

"Don't let it bring you down... it's only castles burning..."

From the song Don't Let It Bring You Down by Annie Lennox.

Liar liar, pants on fire...

It feels good to be back in L.A., and with my friends Jenn and Daniel again.

Looking out the window into the nighttime lights of L.A. on the plane ride here definitely felt different than the first time a few months ago coming from Asia. Going back to New York and having been able to spend some quality time there really helped me feel like my old self again. The past month just flew by and it was good to be back in the pace and comforts of home. I feel like I learned so much more about a lot of my friends too, which I didn't think was possible even after more than a decade of friendship. Overall, returning home after three years and being able to celebrate my 30th birthday there was an absolute dream, and I feel excited about whatever it is that's to come next.

Most of my friends live in Brooklyn, so I basically couched surf between Prospect Heights, Fort Greene, and Downtown Brooklyn. Being able to walk from place to place was nice because I hadn't ever really explored that part of the borough much by foot, so I was able to get a better sense on how the neighborhoods are. I also got to go to Astoria again to crash at my friends Susy and Ricky's place, which was a good reason to go check out my old neighborhood.

Since I'm perpetually broke, I ended up meeting up with friends and eating in Chinatown a lot. I've never appreciated that area of town so much, and can't wait to go back and discover some new places. Eating chicken over rice a countless number of times was also great, because man I always can't help but salivate every time I pass by a halal food cart on the streets of NY. I also had a lot of $1 pizza, which always hits the spot as well.

Getting a cellphone again in NYC was also pretty helpful, and I also learned that so much has technologically changed within the past three years. Everyone I know seems to prefer texting over email now, which is odd because I never thought email would be on the road to becoming obsolete. I myself prefer writing emails on my computer any day, and find it difficult to correspond and communicate by phone because typing away on the small keyboard just doesn't seem practical. On my last day in NYC, I met up with my favorite college professor again and he mentioned that he always prefers to stay in touch by email as well, so it's nice to know that there are others out there like me.

But now I'm back in sunny L.A. and ready to keep moving forward with my life. My next step is to find a job here... anyone know of places that are hiring?