Happy birthday, Junho!

Dinner tonight at Root & Bone was really good. And it's so great to have Judy crash tonight afterwards, too! The cab ride home was so much fun. 

"Is this happiness?"

From the song Is The Happiness by Lana Del Rey.

"No need to ask,
I got you."

From the song I Got You by Leona Lewis. 

Sometimes, it's okay to just take a deep breath and chill out a little.

Reluctance.

"An ambitious ethnic-studies major could stand outside the gay bar Metropolitan on a Saturday night and gather enough material for a thesis project."

From the July 15, 2014 nymag.com essay titled "Let's Talk About Gays 'Stealing Black Female Culture'" by Daniel D'addario.

"These are the contents of my head."

From the song Why by Annie Lennox.

Sometimes, when it comes to having a nightcap, the real question is: why the hell not?

"Go get two cheesecakes and wait up for me. I have a feeling the four of us will be talking until dawn!"

Said by the character Sophia in the sitcom, The Golden Girls. Season 4, Episode 7.

Learning to not take things personally was a life lesson that took way too long to learn.

The weekend so far has been really nice.

My roommate went out of town for the weekend, and my bro-in-law also had a business trip, so my sister has been staying at my place with their dog since Friday evening. It feels like our childhood in Flushing again whenever we're alone together on weekends. This is something that we sort of grew up doing---and staying in for days and just ordering food while vegging in front of the television is our version of a real good time. At night booze is definitely had, so whatever we're eating ends up tasting even better!

It's kind of funny when I think about all the weekends we've spent together as shut-ins, hiding away from the world in the comfort of stretchy pants. Now that we've both become adults with our own lives, it's not like we're able to plan ahead for weekends like these. In some weird way, they just end up happening every once in a while, and I've come to really appreciate that. All of this has helped me realize how much I treasure time off where I'm able to spend it with the people I love, and that I need gatherings like these on a regular basis to feel normal and connected.

My brother-in-law just returned from his trip and has come over my place now, and the 3 of us plan to watch the World Cup finale at my place together. The Argentina vs. Germany game will be starting in about 15 minutes, and we're all excited. Unfortunately though, I have to be at work later today by 6:30pm so it'll be hard for me to get truly into it, but it should be a fun time nonetheless.

Live and grow everyday.

The past few weeks or so.

It's pretty late at night right now, but I still just can't seem to fall asleep.

I keep obsessing about this one thing in my head and I'm trying to think of other stuff to keep my thoughts occupied, but it's no use.

Happy Independence Day, America!

U-S-A! U-S-A!

Having to take the subway home after finishing a shift at the restaurant can be a trip sometimes.

I forgot how it is to ride it so late at night while the majority of New York is getting some shuteye. On some nights, I'll get lucky and not have to wait long for either of the two trains I need to take. Then there are other nights where in general the wait is really long since it's usually past 1am, but then I'll keep missing the train with just plain and simple bad timing. It's always sort of funny though on the rare occasion I'll see customers I had just waited on also waiting at the same subway platform. For my commute home, the other people on the train are normally fairly young and sometimes a little drunk, or also restaurant industry employees who just got off work like me. One thing that I've really become aware of after taking the subway home late at night lately is NYC's homeless situation. The visibly large amount of people sleeping on the subway carts, waiting benches, or even station stairwells become really noticeable, and it's pretty sad.

Then there can be other days where a really great thing could happen late at night on the subway. Last week, I was sitting on a practically empty subway back home past 1:30 in the morning. The train pulled into a stop and as it sat there with its doors open for a few minutes, a train heading into the opposite direction pulled up on the other side of the platform. And that's when I saw an old coworker from an East Village restaurant years ago standing on the train with his bike. I noticed him immediately and got up a little from my seat to see if he would notice me staring at him. The good news is that as the doors on his train closed up, we did make eye contact and waved hi to each other with a laugh because we never run into each other ever---let alone late at night on the subway like that.

Now I'm at home, trying to unwind after a very long day. I just wish it wasn't 3am.

"Because if you made a book of what really happened, it'd be a really upsetting book."

Said by the character Angela in the show My So Called Life. Pilot Episode.

"Leave it to Flushing to turn a beautiful image into a bowel dysfunction." 

Said by the character Fran in the sitcom, The Nanny. Sean 2 Episode 4 titled "Material Fran."

The Nanny isn't a sitcom I've ever really watched or knew much about, except for the fact that the main character, Fran, is from Flushing, Queens. But oh man, this rerun that's on tv right now is really funny so far.

With age, I've come to realize that fresh fruit tastes better than any manufactured sweets or candy.

"Everything looks perfect from far away."

From the song Such Great Heights by The Postal Service. 

Within the past month or so, somehow, it feels like my life has suddenly become quite busy.

It seems like lately, every single day of the week is earmarked for some sort of activity. Whether it's waiting tables at my second job right after finishing my office job, dinner dates with friends, social obligations, attempting to sweat it out at yoga, having people visiting from out of town, running an errand that should've been done a while ago or just trying to keep my overall shit together, all of the days and weeks look as though they're melding into one long blur. This constant cycle of busyness does make time go faster, but simultaneously had me wondering if I'm actually getting stuff accomplished instead of just going through the motions in life.

It does seem that my thoughts on all of that are connected to a truth that I've only recently learned to truly accept and understand, and that's that HAPPINESS IS IN THE RIGHT NOW. There's no future achievement or completed goal that will bring me any more than I can help myself recognize that I have today, and that I can make this very day as happy and fulfilling as any other fantasy moment where things in life might seem "better" or "easier."

Wow, it took me 31 years to see all of this in a different light... and from this day forward, I'm really going to try my best to never regress back to that mindset.

Dear friends,

Please check out my latest story for VICE's MUNCHIES: GOOGLE SEARCH HELPED THIS FOOD RUNNER LEARN HOW TO WORK IN A RESTAURANT.

Thanks.

"That tension invaded the private life of the boy, too."

From the book The Big Rock Candy Mountain by Wallace Stegner. Page 245.

It's the weekend!

The past few weeks or so.

"Oh! That man makes my Ovaltine boil!"

Said by the character Rose in the sitcom The Golden Girls. Season 3, Episode 16.

After too many years apart, it was SO GREAT to hang out with my old college bud again!

Magali, spending time with you on your visit to NYC was such a treat. I hope the rest of your time here is fantastic, and hopefully I'll be able to visit you in Texas one of these days.

Until then, I'll miss you!

Rest in peace, Maya Angelou.

Dear friends,

If you have the time, please check out my latest story for VICE's new food channel MUNCHIES: CHARGING YOUR CELL PHONE AT A RESTAURANT IS RUDE.

Thank you.

Sometimes, there's nothing like a cool afternoon rain storm to clear your head and wake you up.

Happy Memorial Day weekend, America!

As we take the time to remember all of the brave soldiers who gave their lives for this great country, I hope everyone is out enjoying the holiday with friends and family. Get some sun, scarf down BBQ, kick back a few beers, and let's finally start this summer off right.

I feel fortunate that I actually have the entire weekend off. It's been a few months since I've had 2 days off in a row, so I'm trying to figure out what sort of fun I can get into. My friend Junho arrived at our new apartment a few days ago, so I've actually been spending the morning just organizing and cleaning up. But now I'm all washed up and ready to head out the door.

Yeah for the weekend!

Just like a sitcom, in actual life, a baby always enters the picture somehow.

"Despite all my rage,
I am still just a rat in a cage."

From the song Bullet With Butterfly Wings by The Smashing Pumpkins.

Dear friends,

If you have the time, please check out my latest story for VICE's MUNCHIES: SEXISM IN THE KITCHEN GOES BOTH WAYS.

Thanks.

Tonight is very special.

I'm currently spending my first night ever in the new apartment I'm moving into with my best friend. 

Today is the first day of our lease and I'm here alone until Junho moves in in a week. After couch surfing and wandering around since I arrived back in NYC last July, I finally have my own space. 

It's nice to feel like I'm home again and can relax for some time. 

The past few weeks or so.

Sometimes, it's so much easier to think in absolutes. But in life, there is nothing absolute when it comes to people.

A few days ago, I was working my weekend gig waiting tables in Brooklyn. During my shift, there was a table of four customers who casually asked what my name was after I had helped them with something when they first arrived at the restaurant.

Now, when they initially asked for my name, I didn't really think anything of it because they were nice and customers sometimes ask for a variety of reasons. However, what made this group of diners different was that anytime they needed something throughout their meal, instead of getting my attention by locking eye contact, motioning physically somehow or even by saying a simple "excuse me" when I was nearby, I would hear them calling out for me by my first name instead.

As someone who works in the service industry, I have to admit that yes, sometimes it can be nice when customers take the time to learn my name and address me by it. But that's only if they use it once or twice and in a discreet manner. What annoyed me about this group was one particular girl who continually would beckon me by name. After the first handful of times she did it, I got really irritated because I started to feel like I was their personal butler of some sort.

"You've used up all your coupons,
and all you've got left is me..."

From the song Underneath It All by No Doubt.

I just realized that my problem of overthinking things is more serious than I thought.

Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Consumed. Exhaustion.

"Butter is elemental, just churned cream, but the very best ones hold flavors so sophisticated and elusive that they dazzle your palate while comforting you like a child."

From the article, Solid Gold, written by Oliver Strand in the May 2014 issue of American Vogue.

Don't let other people's experiences and opinions become your own. You should always see for yourself.

The past few weeks or so.

Winter in NYC is officially over, and it feels so invigorating to be able to enjoy the city and just walk around again. This past winter was pretty damn brutal, so not having to step out of the house into frigid and tortuous temperatures anymore is a real treat. I can't even bear to look at my peacoat another day until it gets cold again, and so I therefore happily bid it its long overdue farewell.

And with a new season comes some new changes in life. A little more than a month ago, I started a side weekend gig waiting tables in Williamsburg. I'm still working my regular office job in TriBeCa from Monday-Friday. Not having any days off in the week can be grueling at times, but eh, I'll live. The transition of working this new weekend job has been pretty smooth though, luckily because I'm working with some old coworkers and acquaintances from an East Village restaurant I used to work at years ago. This new restaurant I'm working at is cozy and pretty low-key, which I really like and appreciate. I've also never worked in the neighborhood before, so it's been nice seeing all the locals and folks who chill around the area. For the most part, the majority of customers are friendly and easygoing, but then of course there will always be those certain guests that are just a pain in the ass. I haven't waited tables since I was working at a restaurant in Venice Beach last year, but it really is like riding a bike. The unfamiliar newness of any job can be daunting, but having been able to get used to things in the past month has helped me finally find my own rhythm and pace of work. And then of course I can remember all my old methods on how to deal with specific types of annoying customers. Most of the restaurant's diners are really nice though, so striving to provide them with good efficient service and a quality experience is something that I'm more than happy to do. In a weird way, I usually have moments where waiting tables can feel extremely fulfilling when I know people leave the restaurant feeling merry and satisfied after having an awesome time. However, if I never in my life had to explain gluten-free options from a menu again or bust my ass for some dickhead who will just always be an asshole when they dine out, well I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

Something else that I'm really excited about right now is that in a few weeks, my friend Junho and I will be moving into a new apartment together! Since returning to NYC last July, I've basically been couch surfing and living in somewhat unconventional living arrangements. That's why I'm beyond happy to finally have a place to call home, and have those simple things like a bed and my own room. Our new apartment is downtown in the Financial District and close to City Hall and the Brooklyn Bridge. I've never lived in that area before, so getting to know the neighborhood really well is going to be great. And one of the best parts of the new apartment will be the fact that I can walk to work within 10 minutes.

Alright, well it's passed 2am and I've got work tomorrow morning. The adrenaline from working a shift earlier tonight is slowly waning, and it's probably time that I try and hit the sack.

Good night, and happy Monday to you all.

"Enough about you,
Let's talk about life for a while."

From the song All I Really Want by Alanis Morissette.