happy 4th of july everyone.

i just finished watching the macy's fireworks display on nbc. kind of lame.

anyway, i watched The Wackness earlier today with my friend jess. you know i don't watch movies too often, and it's even harder for me to find a movie i enjoy, but i definitely recommend this move to everyone. it's about an 18 year old kid who's graduating from high school in 1994 and all the events that happen to him that summer. the movie is very well written and pretty funny, and ben kingsley is such an amazing actor and yet again gives an awesome performance. he'll always be itzhak stern from schindler's list to me, that's my favorite movie of all time. if you live in nyc, go watch it! it's playing at the angelika.

after the movie, my friend and i walked to ippudo and ate some ramen. here are some pics.

i've designated july "me" month. i'm going to try and focus on bettering myself in every way instead of focusing on negative things. i want to start reading more, shining at work, and working out again.

some other updates on my life, i moved out of my crackhouse this past weekend and am staying at a friend's place for a few weeks. my friend grace turned out to be my guardian angel by letting me stay here, i'm not sure what i would've done if it wasn't for her. i've got to find a new place in a few weeks, but i guess i'll have to worry about that when the time comes. here are some things i will not miss about my old apartment:

-roaches
-my dirty ass roommate
-finding cockroaches chilling on the tip of my toothbrush
-a broken doorknob and it taking me 5 minutes to get outside my apartment
-dead roaches in my closet
-the toilet leaking all over the floor
-people who lived above me that stomped around every night around 1:30 am
-people opening my mail and putting it back into my mailbox
-waking up to a swollen and itchy body because of bedbugs
-having to throw my bed away because of bedbugs
-dead roaches in my dishes
-beads in the kitchen doorway
-getting gauged on rent
-dead roaches in my clothes
-crazy ass neighbors who lived without closing their door or having a DAMN DOORKNOB
-roaches

oh, life...

aside from my messy living situation, work right now is insane and i don't know when or if things are going to slow down. i am barely hanging on until the weekend. once thursday end of day comes, i will be the happiest man alive.

anyway, here's some pictures from last friday. i went to carmines in the UES to eat some amazing, family-style italian food. i hadn't been to that carmine's location in seven years, i couldn't believe how fast time flies. i guess that's just the way things go.

my life is a junk show.

i've been in such a weird funk since i returned from aspen on sunday night. i called in sick at work today because i couldn't get out of bed. i need to get the hell out of it already and motivate.

it's crazy how there's so much shit going on in my life right now, it's just madness. i wish i could write about it here, but i feel like these are things that'll be easier to reflect on later down the line because right now, it's nothing but stress for me.

blahhhhhhhhhh.

i went to aspen for 5 days because that's where the magazine i work for throws the number one culinary event of the COUNTRY every year over father's day weekend. being there made me feel so proud to see months of hard work come to life. everyone just enjoyed themselves over the weekend, and even though i was there for work, it felt like an awesome 5-day vacation instead. being there was not work to me, i had the time of my fucking life and couldn't believe how lucky i was to be a part of such an amazing event. it was pretty cool to see that this whole event was put on by a team of no more than 15 people, and i was one of those people.

i did way too much stuff there to even begin listing all my favorite things, so i'll just leave you with these pictures. all i can say is: aspen is an absolutely breathtaking city, i saw melanie griffith walking down the main street of town smoking a cig, got kicked in the back thigh by ming tsai, finally was able to see the big dipper again in what felt like years, had a broken phone on my 2nd day there and i am still without a one even now (it's lonely without a cell phone at my apt, i have no one to talk to at all), got sunburnt and was able to take a bath. hell fucking yeah.

ps- on a random ass side note, how crazy is it that i saw my halal lady on the subway platform today late in the evening in koreatown and we said hi to eachother? haha nyc is really such a small city.

you know i used to dislike the thought of having to go to weddings.

i know many people will disagree with me, but as a gay man, weddings don't really do much for me. i don't go with any hopes of getting ideas for my future wedding, or having a wedding of my own to compare it to. it was just another social event that i had to go to and sit through. then i realized how much of a selfish asshole i was being, and came to see that weddings are a beautiful and joyous occasion where i should feel incredibly lucky to witness the union of a marriage, and what will hopefully be the beginning of a long and happy lifelong partnership.

the wedding i went to this past weekend was for a friend named Cora, who i've been friends with since junior high school. my best friends judy and jess were in the bridal party, so it was nice to to be with friends and also see people i haven't talked to in years. my other friend grace went as my date, and we drove out to the outdoor wedding in long island with my other friend susy. the ceremony was at noon and outdoors in the 95 degree heat and i have to admit that even though i could barely open my eyes because of the glaring sun, once we moved inside, the reception was great and we all had a fun time.

it is so fucking hot... i need to use someone for their ac...

i came home after work and did a 4 hour marathon of the korean drama, "On Air," and was able to finish the show today. the drama was very good, i definitely recommend it to everyone. the only thing is that i didn't shed a tear once during the whole drama, which makes me sad because i feel like i need a good cry. watching it did make me miss korea though, i'd love to live there for a year or two later down the line. i guess we'll see if that happens.

work has been a bit crazy the past few weeks. i'm going to aspen next week for the number one food event of the nation that is run by the magazine i work at. among my many responsibilities throughout the 5 days, i'm throwing a party on wednesday that i'm hoping will have a good turnout. i'm definitely looking forward to getting the fuck out of nyc for a while, it's going to be nice being surrounded by nature. i also found out that i'm going to "the oscars of the food world," aka the james beard foundation awards, this sunday at lincoln center. i'm looking forward to the free food, drinks and drunken schmoozing. maybe i'll meet a nice chef, who knows? i just don't have any nice clothes to wear though, sucks.

with an outdoor, daytime wedding this saturday in what's supposed to be a 90 degree and humid day, and the award show on sunday, i won't have much downtime this weekend. then it's two long days at work on tues and wed, and then i leave for aspen 6 am on wednesday.

i guess losing sleep is worth it sometimes and being busy isn't the worst problem to have.

i need some stability in my life.

i need to get out of this god damn funk.

sometimes i stay late at work so i can expense dinner on my corporate card.

it's past 4 AM, and i'm still up because i just spent the past few hours glued to my laptop. this is why i try not to get into korean dramas, they're addictive and if the drama's good, it's always REALLY good.

i probably haven't watched a korean drama in literally years. i think the last drama i watched was "My Name is Kim Sam Soon" in 2005. i just started watching this newer one called "On Air," and it's about actors, writers, producers, and directors in korea's entertainment industry. oh mannn, it is soooo fucking good. i swear, the people who wrote this shit are geniuses. the plot is so twisted and amazing but believable at the same time and i feel like i'm really learning some inside stuff on what goes on there.

i started watching this a bit late so i was able to get the first 5 DVDs and watch them back-to-back. now i'm sad that i'm going to have to wait a week before i see a new episode because that's how often they air in korea and how they become available throughout the world.

sigh.

one and a 1/2 more days until the weekend... i can make it...

...destined for great things.

it is so beautiful out.

i went to the gym today and i've come to the conclusion that i cannot workout without music blasting in my ears. therefore, i went ahead and ordered a new ipod online.

damn you apple with your amazingly sexy products that i can't live without, damn you...

i'm having a bad week with my electronics.

i lost my ipod on saturday while out with friends. i was at a karaoke in ktown and took my ipod out to look for korean songs to sing. i guess in my drunken stupor, i left it on the table and didn't realize it until the next morning. of course when i call the karaoke place to check if they found it, they said there's nothing. ahhh i'm such a god damn idiot sometimes. i totally can't afford a new one right now, fuck fuck fuckk. i guess $250 for a new 80 gig one is worth it because i'll use it everyday and it'll be less than a dollar for a year, but i'm fucking broke!

i know i have to buy one because i'm sure as many of you new yorkers know, living in nyc without music to listen to is torture. riding the subway this morning, i feel like i was using my sense of hearing for the first time and this was the music to my morning commute: coughing, sneezing, loud music playing in other people's cheap earphones, more coughing, people talking way too loud, and more coughing. i can't read or do anything without background music on, my a-d-d kicks in and i get so distracted by all the people and noise around me.

then earlier today, some friends and i went to this GQ Magazine party at the Stoli Hotel on the west side. out of all my friends, i am usually always the one who brings a camera because i enjoy taking pictures and sending them to my friends. i'm very anal and a control freak when it comes to pictures, so this is perfect for me. so at the party, my friend is trying to take a picture of me and our other friend, and he says it's too dark and can't see anything on the camera screen so he doesn't know where to point before he shoots. i admonish him for being an idiot, and later find out that my screen is broken! argh, fuck fuckk fuckk. i guess i did get a good 3 years out of this digi cam, but still man- a lost ipod and broken camera in one week? that just sucks.

anyway, here's some pics we did manage to take from tonight's party.









the last is my friend wearing my glasses. hm, i think i look better in them.

i just slept 13 hours.

damn i feel good.

usually located directly to the right of the videos/multimedia section, i feel like "pictures of the day" on nytimes.com was created not only to show important world events of the day, but also to humble people.

i have days when i leave work completely annoyed and aggravated (like today) from all the stupid shit that happened in my day. i just want to be alone and not have to talk, look, or engage in any activity where i have to interact with another human being.

but then i come home and go through the "pictures of the day" section and realize, all the inconsequential bullshit that happened in my day is nothing but that- inconsequential bullshit, and i should just shut up and realize how good life is. there are literally hundreds of millions of people in the world going through life-altering events that i will hopefully never be subjected to, and i am grateful for that.

i love being humbled, but sometimes it's so damn hard. all i do is think all day at work and i'm afraid i'll never be happy. i'm always on the lookout for the next thing in my life and i can't ever seem to feel content with where i am. yes, works keeps me extremely busy throughout the day but i feel so bored with what i'm doing, and with life in general. i need a new project, job, hobby, or person to just keep me busy and not thinking about all the stuff that usually races through my mind.

so i had a very stressful day yesterday because of work and a personal matter.

work has been kicking my ass lately. the past few weeks have just been madness in the office and i feel like everyone is always running around like chickens without their heads. everyday is just a constant flow of annoyingness, meetings, annoyingness, more meetings, etc. Suffice it to say, the stress level for everyone is through the roof. also, finding out about another personal matter that really gave me one of the biggest shocks in awhile didn't help, so i came home feeling pretty drained and exhausted.

i come home and decide to drink a 40oz i've had in the fridge for a few weeks. i see that my roommate is up and already drinking, so i ask if he wants to split my beer with me. he said yes and then we started talking and actually kind of got to know eachother. i realize in 5 months, we never really did that.

oh man, all i have to say is the stuff i found out about him just floored me, it's the funniest and craziest fucking shit that i never, EVER, EVERRRR in my life would've expected.

if i write a book one day, i am dedicating a whole chapter to write about his story because there's no way i ever wouldn't include it! this stuff is too good and must be shared throughout the lands...

this is when i say, "oh 25, there you go again!"

i fucking love me a good korean power ballad.

i think my roommate just brought a guy home... hahah i don't know why i find this so funny.

i know i've blogged about this before, but now i'm going to make it one of my themes of the year: when you become 25, everything in your life just changes.

i've been preaching about this to all my friends, who are also mostly born in 1983, but since i turned 25, for some reason my whole outlook in life has just drastically changed. all these crazy, unexpected thoughts and events keep happening and when they do, the only thing i have to say is, "oh...25, there you go again."

i totally forgot that i wanted to write about my living situation.

well, i've been in astoria since january and suffice it to say, after what is 4 months of living here, i can no longer stand it. on saturday i told my roommate that i'm leaving at the end of may and this is exactly how our conversation went.

ME: "hey saba (made up name), i just wanted to let you know since it's almost the end of the month, that i'm going to be leaving at the end of may. just use my last month's rent check i gave you when i first moved in."

SABA: "okay."

ME: *a bit shocked that he didn't hassle me* "great!" *smiling as i go back to my room to get ready for my friend's bday*

i dont think my roommate was at all surprised because i've been having A LOT of issues with the apartment in the past few months. oh man i cant wait to blog about it and list all the crazy, disgusting shit that's happened to me here! but that'll have to be done when i'm in a new apartment and the memories of living in this shithole are something i could laugh about for the rest of my life.

so it's official, i have to look for a new place to live in starting in june. i get to live with more crazy strangers from craigslist, oh joy! it's funny how i don't know a single person who is moving out and needs someone to look for an apartment with. if anyone knows of any normal ass people in nyc who are in need of a roommate starting in june, send them my way. i'd love to stay in astoria, and will ABSOLUTELY not live anywhere where i have to take the 7 train (i have issues with everything about that line).

oh man... i'm still a bit brain dead from last. went out for one of my best friend's birthdays and honestly drank way too much, but had an awesome time nonetheless. i don't really remember much of the night, but from the stuff i do remember, it all just makes me smile or laugh.

i woke up today at noon, went to a friend's apt for a little, and then have been sitting in my room since 3 pm. i can't believe it's 10:30, that's fucking madness. i didn't do shit today.

yesterday during the day, my friend junho and i walked around the city and checked out the street fair that was running on 8th ave downtown. there was so much food to eat there, and after walking through the whole fair, i decided to get a corn dog. i go and order one and then the guys tells me it costs $5. five fucking dollars for a corndog at the street fair? that is just crazy. i walked away and got chipotle instead.

after hours of walking around and talking, we ended up back in queens and was going to eat dinner at his house but decided to pick up some Unidentified Flying Chicken on the way. has anyone ever had that? you know i'm a huge fan of korean-style fried chicken and have to say UFC was pretty damn good. i'll definitely be hitting up that place again. if anyone is ever around 74th street, go check it out!

since a year and a half ago, i've been telling one of my best friends who works at a fashion label that tie-dye will absolutely make a comeback! i just had a hunch and a gut feeling that i couldn't explain but knew had to be shared with the world. along with all my other friends, she scoffed and said i was crazy. fast forward to now, and i have to say i was right, tie-dye has been popping up everywhere.

today at work, i received a package through messenger- and lo' and behold, it's a tie-dye shirt that my friend's fashion label had produced for their new merchandising line. a-ha! well, since i was meeting my close group of friends for dinner, i decided to surprise them and quickly changed into the shirt before i left my office.

we had dinner at moonstruck in the east village.

vindication feels great.

don't really have much to talk about, so i'll just post some pics.

i only have 2 close college friends, yes- i was a loser. one is in la, trying to do the whole acting and entertainment thing, and my other friend, magali, is in london. last thursday, i received a voicemail from magali saying that she's coming into town for a week! ah, i was jumping for joy when i saw her last night. we went to yaffa cafe and sat in the back garden while drinking beers and catching up on the last 8 months of our lives. we bar hopped for a little afterwards, and i'm planning to see her this tues because her bf is playing some show at hiro.


a few weeks ago, i was invited to a book release party through work. the best thing is, it's a book about hamburgers and is aptly titled, The Hamburger, and written by Josh Ozersky, who I've had the privilege of meeting. first of all, i LOVE hamburgers. hamburgers are the shit. i could live my life off burgers. all my friends know i'm a die hard burger guy. whenever i go to a restaurant, i would always order the burger no matter what type of restaurant i was at (don't do that too much now, i realized it's not the best thing for my health). anyhoo, my friend jess came to the party with me and there were free burgers, fries and beer everywhere. the burgers were fucking amazing. the meat was so fresh, and the english muffin bun and sauce that was on it was perfection. unfortunately, there were so many people at the event that i couldn't get seconds. instead, we left the party and decided to go to crif dogs and then get some takoyaki at otafuku on 9th street.

coming home is so lonely.

i'm at sympathy for the tea kettle in the east village and am drinking a strawberry cardamom smoothie. while it's not the most appetizing drink, it does feel refreshing in the warm, ny spring weather.

it's funny how the weather completely affects life. i know that sounds like such a dumb and simple statement, but it's so true. just walking around downtown, it took me a while to get used to all the cafes and restaurants that have set up tables and eating areas on the sidewalk. winter just passed by so fast, and i'm kind of sad that there was no major snowfall. oh well.

currently on obsessive repeat: fiona apple's debut album, tidal.

i think i know what my problem is.

what am i so afraid of?

the epicurean magazine that i work at threw one of the biggest food bashes of the year on thursday. too lazy to get into details, but we had a fun photo booth at the party and i just wanted to share some of the pics.